minor vent...

[JC76]

Minor vent... since I know everyone here will understand why something is frustrating...

You know how you get so used to the doctor having to miss virtually EVERYTHING that when they're actually available to attend something with you, sometimes you get overly excited about it? So we found out a couple weeks ago that the fantastic daycare center around the corner from us was hosting an open house tonight (it's only one they're hosting for the entire year). Currently, Zoe is taken care of by her grandparents a few days a week, but by 18 months/2 years we want her to start attending daycare a few days a week in addition to that for the socialization (and so I can start working more hours).

When we found out about the open house DH immediately looked at his calendar and was so happy because he actually WANTED to go with me and was ENTHUSIATIC about participating in the decision and by some miracle he was actually going to be home and available to go with me to the open house.

Fast forward to about 3 days ago and DH and I are talking about plans for this week and I reminded him about the open house... and he suddenly realized that last week he agreed to go in to work for just THREE HOURS for someone tonight at the exact time of the open house. DH is usually meticulous about maintaining his calendar and he simply forgot to write the open house down, so when the guy asked for him to cover a few hours tonight, he agreed.

And what could I say? There's no way I would demand that he reneg on his agreement to cover the guy's hours. And I realize that he's usually really organized with his schedule, it's not like he does this stuff all the time. But still... for once he really wanted to be involved in important parenting stuff and I really want him to be involved in making a decision like what daycare center we send Zoe to... and he's missing it. It's a small thing, but it's bumming me out. I'm so tired of this and so ready to have my "partner" back...

[L.Jane]

I feel your frustration. Every time we think J is able to go something and then ends up not being able to go, I want to cry. *Hug*

[alison]

Ug! What a strange coincidence. Maybe the person your dh is covering for is going to the open house!

[JC76]

Ha. I wish. That to me would at least be a worthy excuse. Making this worse is the fact that the guy actually asked DH to cover the first couple hours of his shift for him so he could go to some lecture on Edgar Allen Poe at a local university. I'm not even joking, couldn't make that up. It's a completely bogus reason to ask someone to cover for you, but DH owes him a shift and he (thought) he had no reason to turn him down. Just adds insult to injury because when weighing the relative importance of two events, there's not much comparison. And what sort of freakin 4th year ER resident goes to a lecture on Poe on a Thursday night instead of going to work??? I mean are you kidding me? Argh... don't get me started.

I completely understand. I really miss having a partner. That's a great way to put it. I'm comfortable making all our life decisions entirely independently, but I'd just love to be able to depend on DH, and I know every time I calendar something for us there is a 50/50 chance something will come up with his schedule and I'll end up going alone. After the last time he had to bail, on a pediatrician interview, for a very legitimate last-minute scheduling conflict, we talked about it, and I know he really wants to be more involved. Sadly though, so much of his schedule is unpredictable and completely out of his hands, I know his control is really limited.

For what it's worth, all of the day cares I have toured have encouraged me to come back and drop in during school hours, bring DH (if he wasn't there initially), etc., so maybe if you like what you see, you can plan a time to go back together.

[MrsK]

I remember about a year ago ranting on this forum because DrK switched call nights without telling me which meant he couldn't accompany me to a party. The party wasn't anything I really wanted to go to but at that point I would have been happy to go to a dogfight in the alley behind the hospital if it meant that I could have a night out with my dh. We instituted a strict "do not offer to trade call without talking to your wife" policy. Also, he did manage to find someone else to cover the call night so there may be a chance that your DH can work something out.

[Meenah]

I'm so used to DH not going to things with me that when he does show up my first thought is "what the hell are you doing here?"

[Momo]

I am hoping , like someone earlier suggested, that you two can do a drop in/observe visit!

ITA w/Luanne, by the time you are well into attendinghood it really does become a "Ripley's Believe it or Not" event when they actually do show!

[DCJenn]

Yep. I'm pretty sure that all of Nikolai's teachers since pre-k have been convinced that I wear a wedding ring 'just because.'

J.