Here's a good one. . .

[MrsK]

The other day I was tellling MIL how BabyK is becoming more independent. He understands everything I say, knows what "no" means, and knows when I'm trying to redirect him but he doesn't always cooperate. He's got opinions now. MIL advises, "So you'll have to start being more lenient." I think it's time to quash the rebellion, but then, I'm a mean mommy. (Actually, I'm not a mean mommy but MIL thinks its crazy to have routines, such as dinner-bath-bed, for a baby and that kids don't remember anything until they are at least 5.)

It's a tough balance, but you know your kid best. My mom was here before the baby was born, and she started hinting that my schedule was too strict. Um, sorry, but she hasn't seen what it's like when there's no schedule. The kids are leaps & bounds happier, overall, when we follow the routine. My mom was just seeing the little complaints like, "I don't want to stop playing with play-doh to go outside now." Looking at it like that, sure, it makes sense to let them keep doing what makes them happy. But after a half hour, play-doh devolves into little flecks of it all over the floor and in mouths. So yes, we quit while we're ahead and go outside.

I know you have a unique MIL situation and aren't likely to let her discourage you. But I'll still say that you know BabyK's cues best, as far as when to be relaxed & when to stick to the schedule.

[MrsK]

Well, I'm talking about when I say "no" because playing with electrical chords is dangerous and he has a difference of opinion. Not the time to be lenient.

As for routine, we have about 3 hours of family time most evenings. There are certain things -- dinner, bath, bed -- that have to get done. If we didn't have a routine, I'd have a very hungry, smelly, sleepy little guy on my hands.

[GrayMatterWife]

Parenting by leniency?! If I wanted something that felt entitled to express and act upon its free will, I would have gotten a cat. Do you have any idea how long it took to break my husband of the notion that he had a right to free will? I am not about to start encouraging that belief in my children.

**kidding! Kind of.**

[Pollyanna]

Parenting by leniency?! If I wanted something that felt entitled to express and act upon its free will, I would have gotten a cat. Do you have any idea how long it took to break my husband of the notion that he had a right to free will? I am not about to start encouraging that belief in my children.

**kidding! Kind of.**

[cylverdust]

Kids thrive on routines!! My oldest is 2 in a few days, I never did the night time routine until about a month ago, and bedtime was a nightmare. Now we have a bedtime routine and she goes right to sleep. It is awesome.
I have yet to develop one for V yet but she is only 5 weeks, so I have time. =)

[MrsK]

We started dinner, bath, bed when he was about 6 or 7 months old. We sort of fell into it because he'd be such a mess after meals. Now he actually gets upset if we don't go right into the bedtime rituals after his bath.

[HouseofWool]

I find that my kids thrive on routine. Now that C is almost 8 he is more flexible, but he was hard as a baby - if we messed with the schedule an iota, we were doomed.

[DCJenn]

I still adhere to the schedule developed by the people at the orphanage. We. Shall. Not. Deviate.

and even now at age 6- he will announce when he's done. 'mommy, I'd like to go to sleep now."

J.