Announcement

Collapse

Facebook Forum Migration

Our forums have migrated to Facebook. If you are already an iMSN forum member you will be grandfathered in.

To access the Call Room and Marriage Matters, head to: https://m.facebook.com/groups/400932...eferrer=search

You can find the health and fitness forums here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/133538...eferrer=search

Private parenting discussions are here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/382903...eferrer=search

We look forward to seeing you on Facebook!
See more
See less

Trying Threes!

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Trying Threes!

    So A turns 3 next Monday and the trying threes have started in full force. She doesn't listen, she does whatever she wants and "no way" is her new favorite phrase. I volunteered in her classroom yesterday and listened and cringed as she told her teacher "no way" "no" "no" when she tried to redirect her. Oh lord!

    Then I did get a little irritated though because as the volunteer I got to read the class ending story. A was sitting very nicely in the front row and after a couple of minutes she said "ow" then a "stop that" - the teacher was within arms reach of her and did nothing until I looked up after the 2nd comment. And then she corrected A, telling her to be quiet. Not even a minute later she said ow again and I saw the little girl next to her pinch her - I'm not sure the teacher could see her but again she corrected A. Finally when it happened a 4th time she realized the little girl was pinching her and corrected her instead but I was just irritated. I think both teachers in A's class think she is ill behaved compared to the other kids in her class. And I can see after volunteering yesterday that she is a little more likely to speak her mind or say no when the teachers ask her to do something. I suppose that is my fault because we haven't found a discipline that works with her.

    I've thought about taking her out of that class but the other good preschool in town is not convenient and I kind of feel like this teacher should be working some of this out, isn't that her job?

    UGH! Just needed to vent.
    Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I'm so sorry.

    This stuff is difficult. (Warning...my issues are going to flow over here.) As much focus there is on boys not being served by the educational system because of their energy levels, I have come to believe that girls who are more active and speak up have an even harder time. Sometimes teachers expect girls to behave better and have less tolerance for any stupid little behavior issue. I have seen similar things go on in first grade and to say it is frustrating is an understatement.

    Honestly, it differs from teacher to teacher, so if A gets a different teacher, the same preschool could be a wonderful fit for her. I would gently approach the teacher and ask her straight out how A was doing in her opinion and kindly offer my opinion on how to gently steer her attention back into focus. Remind her that we want our girls to speak up for themselves and think outside the box.
    In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

    Comment

    • #3
      Unfortunately another teacher isn't an option unless I want her to go 3 days/week instead of 2. This is the only class for her age.

      I think I will probably volunteer to help again right after the first of the year and then speak to the teacher depending on what I see.

      Thanks for commiserating Kelly!
      Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

      Comment

      • #4
        After I wrote this I remembered that during my last discussion, I reiterated that while I support the teacher in his need to keep order in his classroom, my main goal for K is to like school and to feel successful as a student. I don't want her to feel like a "bad" girl or that school is sucky. School is a loooooong process and A needs to like it and feel good about herself. Framing it in these terms places everyone's goals on the table in a positive aspect.

        My daughter is going to grow up and be amazing. Women who quietly acquiesce to whatever is expected rarely make history. I keep chanting this to myself when the ride gets bumpy.
        In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

        Comment

        • #5
          Ours is a parent co-op preschool, so from my observations there, two things struck me. One, *you* were probably in arms reach too and had a better perspective on the situation, right? Don't hesitate to jump in and take care of things yourself! (No idea how this goes over in "regular" preschool but at mine the parent volunteers *have* to be hands-on to keep control.) Two, being in the classroom several days a month I have been able to observe that kids act very differently depending on whether their parents are present or not. Don't be too quick to conclude that A is always as spunky as she is when you're there watching.
          Alison

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by spotty_dog View Post
            Ours is a parent co-op preschool, so from my observations there, two things struck me. One, *you* were probably in arms reach too and had a better perspective on the situation, right? Don't hesitate to jump in and take care of things yourself! (No idea how this goes over in "regular" preschool but at mine the parent volunteers *have* to be hands-on to keep control.) Two, being in the classroom several days a month I have been able to observe that kids act very differently depending on whether their parents are present or not. Don't be too quick to conclude that A is always as spunky as she is when you're there watching.
            I agree (and LOVE parent co-op preschools!!!).
            Tara
            Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

            Comment

            • #7
              I hate co-op preschools. I don't do well with other people's kids. If I saw someone pinching my kid, I'd probably have addressed it, but I totally understand the hesitation.

              Comment

              • #8
                Cheri we don't do preschool but DS is entering the same phase so you have my sympathy. Except he says "no thanks" to everything!! At least he's polite right?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Cheri, after years of dealing with preschools and schools I would advise you to not switch and to just arrange a time to meet with the teachers in the new year. I feel your pain. Dealing with school stuff starts as soon as we turn them over to teachers. The best lesson that I have painfully learned is to kindly address issues with the teachers or school directors if necessary ... as often as you need to. It's hard but no school is perfect. Unfortunately, you can run but you can't hide.

                  Kris
                  ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                  ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Can't come up with a succinct answer to this thread, but omigod! I think this will have to be either a completely ruined Christmas day or the Best Christmas Ever, depending on which mood she's in tomorrow. She's all about "the magic of Christmas" this year and it's amazing. But she has no compunction about making everyone miserable if something is wrong in her mind. I think Wednesday was one of my worst days of parenting in three years! And then yesterday was terrific! I'm wrung out and it's not even the holiday yet.
                    Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
                    Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

                    “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
                    ― Lev Grossman, The Magician King

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Right there with you Julie - BIG hugs! We should get the monsters together after the holiday.
                      Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

                      Comment

                      Previous template Next
                      Working...
                      X