Hair pulling and biting

[Vishenka69]

I just knew that karma would bit me in the ass and I'll end up with one of those children that I always thought I'd never have. DD has been on a serious streak of hair pulling and biting. Ever time I strictly say "No," tell her that it hurts or raise my voice, she thinks it's the funniest thing ever and cracks up. Today she bit extra hard and after a whole day of battling with her, I lost my cool screamed and lightly smacked her on the mouth with my palm. She of course started crying (not because it hurt but because I wouldn't let her continue doing what she wanted). DH got upset with me and insists that she's too young to understand. I'm sure that she understands when she wants to, she knows now not to go into cat food or touch the cat, for example.

I find the whole hair pulling and biting completely unacceptable, but have no idea what else to do. Saying "no" and explaining that it hurts doesn't seem to work. She'll be starting day care in about 6 weeks and my biggest worry is that she'll do it to kids there. I'm not opposed to light spanking but not sure if it'll work either or if it's too early to start.

[v-girl]

A light smack (more of a tap) on the mouth was the only thing that worked for my boy until he was 3. At that point, a firm NO was enough. She's old enough to understand.

[alison]

I think this is typical for your dd's age. What worked for my dd was giving her a firm "no" while physically removing her clenched fists from my hair (or wherever she was biting) and then carrying her and setting her somewhere away from me. It sort of took the fun out of it all, I think.

[Vishenka69]

I'll try to remove myself from her but chances are she'll come to wherever I am and start climbing/pulling/biting. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll resort to light tapping.

[v-girl]

You have my sympathy. I think I wore my hair in a ponytail or clipped up for the first 3 years of the boy child's life. And there were no dangly earrings for the first two years.

[MrsK]

If you remove yourself and she comes looking for you, then remove yourself again. Or put her in a playpen for a few minutes. You have to be consistent or she will not know that you are serious.

[Amiens]

My 2nd child, would bite my shoulder when he was tired, and I would tell him firmly no, tap him lightly on the mouth. I would then show him the sign for sleep. This happened when he was 9 months old. It took 3 times, and he figured it out.

My 4th liked to pull my hair during feedings, but I ended up cutting it. I had a couple of children who thought it was funny to stick their hands down my shirt at 12-15 months old, and I used a firm no and redirection, not holding them, etc.

Just make sure you are consistent.

[Michele]

Try to find a pattern of *why* she might be hair pulling or biting. Are you distracted at those times? Is she tired? Hungry? Bored? If you are able to find a potential cause, then avoid the trigger (ok so that's totally a captain obvious statement - I'm sorry).

I'm finding that avoiding the behavior in the first place works the best in our house. Maybe my punishments just don't suck enough, but now that D is 4, he is finally starting to understand time-out. K is 2 and he doesn't get it. We do it, but it doesn't affect future behaviors.

Tiredness, hunger and boredom are the three triggers in our house for bad behaviors (in that order). Hope you figure out them for Izya. Oh and she might not do it at daycare bc it's a totally new environment, but might do it more at home because of something that happens there.

[Vishenka69]

Michele, I completely agree that chances are she does it because of tiredness, hunger or boredom or all three at once. Tiredness and hunger are easily fixed but when she decides that she's bored with her toys and pulling my hair or biting my arm is more fun, then it becomes a problem. All our social activities have been suspended for December and I think she's been feeling a bit isolated. I'm hoping that starting two classes a week will help with that.