Sibling Bed-sharing

[Michele]

I'm hoping I can get the boys to share a bed. Is that crazy? One or both has ended up in our bed every night for a good month. There just isn't room for everyone anymore.

I'm over all of the night waking. Seriously.

They go to bed fine alone....well usually. Lately they've been rather clingy with me. Both wanting me to lay with them, rub their backs....but its also when Phedre needs me.

So I want them to keep each other company....can that work? What do I do?

I've tried just letting them share a bed, but I've had to break it up after an hour of them playing and wrestling etc. Should I just put their beds in the same room to start? I'm in the glider right now in the room with them and they are just playing and carrying on despite me and my threats. Should I just ignore them until they tire and fall asleep on their own? Will that happen? Am I crazy?

[Ladybug]

I wouldn't ignore, especially if you're setting the stage for a new arrangement. My girls share a room but they're older. I would just keep going in the and telling them it's bedtime, etc. They will eventually adjust. It's all new and exciting now. Do your best and then cut yourself some slack. You have a lot of little ones your trying to unplug at once.

Mine also share a room, and have since they were 3.5 and 2?? Maybe younger? I've never been the 'lay and snuggle and pat back to sleep' mom. I nurse them to sleep, but once they're weaned, then they get to fall asleep on their own. We haven't had any major bedtime issues w/any of them -- it's one part of the day where I tolerate NO games. None of that "I want some water", etc. In bed, time to be quiet and sleep.

If you want them to share a room, you'll have to be strict and consistent about no horseplay, quieting down, consequences when they continue playing ('cause you know they will! they're little boys!). Otherwise it will be a nightly Thunderdome.

[v-girl]

M & E have shared a room since M was 3 and E was 18 months. They have always slept best that way.

[MrsK]

My nephews are 3 and 5. They started sharing a room last year and they love it. However, the little one still wakes and ends up sleeping with his parents many nights. My boys will be sharing a room too for at least as long as we are in residency. I'm not sure how I feel about encouraging them to share a bed though.

[alison]

There is no way in hell that I would have wanted to share a bed with a sibling unless it was a necessity space-wise or financially. I just don't think you can get good rest with a kid next to you tossing and turning and engaging with you. I don't even like sharing a bed with dh much!

I don't know about your boys, but dd moves around a ton while she sleeps. She even stands up to find a different spot at some points during the night. When we stay in hotels, I've witnessed how she's constantly moving and breathing funny. Ugh! That isn't for me!

[spotty_dog]

I'm right there with you Michele. My kids seem to crave the contact at night, so let 'em have each other in a sibling bed! We've given it a few trial runs, Eddy is completely gung-ho about sleeping with Natalie in her queen (or alternatively he's invited her to sleep in his room in a separate bed at the foot of his twin, LOL) but Natalie isn't ready, she just wants Mommy as she falls asleep and anyway she *hates* it and screeches when he kicks her in the night if they end up next to each other in the family bed. Sigh.

[ladymoreta]

My sister and I shared a bed when we were little, and I loved it. I think she didn't. Mom and Dad would give us a little unwinding time as long as we were quiet. After about 15 minutes or so, if they heard us, we got in trouble. (Our punishment was standing with our arms stretched out to the side for a few minutes. Kind of painful, but not so stimulating that we didn't go to sleep afterwards.)

I have had my five kids in two bedrooms so my kids have always slept with at least another sibling. I have tried three boys in one room with disastrous results! Lol My three year old DD shares a room with her 6 year old brother in separate beds. I sleep there too. DH has his own room and so does our teen. Were like hippies, huh?!

[MDPhDWife]

My girls have their own rooms, but DD2 insists on sleeping on DD1's top bunk every night. DD1 isn't a big fan but tolerates it. In fact to my surprise DD2 has been suggesting she give up her room so she can share DD1's room. We haven't decided if that's a good idea yet.

I am pretty strict about them getting to bed on time. We have a policy that anytime past 8:30 they're not in bed will be time they "owe" me tomorrow. So if they don't get in bed until 8:40, then they'll have to be in bed at 8:20 the next night. The kicker is if they're not in bed by 8:20 the next night, then it's double time! So every minute past 8:20, is 2 minutes owed. It has been working great, so much so that they've only gotten double time once. My kiddos are a little older though (6 & 9) so I'm not sure if it'll work for your boys yet. Oh I should mention, as long as they're in bed at bedtime, I don't care if they are talking quietly to each other for a little bit. As long as it's not loud enough for me to hear it.

[GrayMatterWife]

My six year old son and two year old daughter share a bed. It's a trundle--DS sleeps on the main bed; DD sleeps on the pull-out trundle. They love it, and I don't worry about someone falling from a bunk. And DS thinks it is really cool because no one else in his class has a trundle bed. Everyone wants to come over to our apartment to see it (aren't kids funny??).

DD goes to bed a half-an-hour before DS, so she is asleep before he goes to bed. It works fine for us.

[Michele]

Thanks everyone. I think the overall theme was separate beds. I moved Daegan's bed into Kai's room and they did nap and night yesterday! Woo hoo!! I was super diligent about making sure they were in bed, and no playing around at all....but it worked! D still woke twice and came to our room and tried to get in our bed, but I sent him back to his bed (he turned down the option of sleeping on a mat on our floor). Kai woke at 5:30. Not too shabby!

They are both in toddler beds right now. The plan was to buy new furniture when we move. I like the idea of trundle beds. I'm going to look into them. Man! The real reason you are still poor post training is all the purchases come up that you put off during training!!!!