Time outs

[alison]

I was reading in Toddler 411 that you can start giving your child time outs at 9 months of age!
What do you think about this? What could a 9-month old do to deserve one? (I don't mean this sarcastically, but truly want to know.) When did you start?

I don't give dd time outs at all. I feel like she does things out of boredom to get my attention, but doesn't do anything that warrants a time out. But maybe I ought to start cracking the whip more!

[Tenacious_D]

We started a few months ago (age 2). E started throwing food at the table and we would give him a timeout after three warnings. Seems to be working for us but I don't know what a timeout at 9 months would have done for him.

[ides]

We started at 10 months. It was only for when he would refuse to lay down for bed or nap time. He would fight me & fight me & nothing worked so naughty zone it was. It worked and he realized he could be alone in the crib he refused to sleep in or he could nurse & snuggle in bed with mom. Much later, can't remember exactly we started using it for if he hit or kicked or other naughty behavior. I think it wasn't till he was between 1 & 1.5yrs. We are gradually getting stricter but I think it's totally kid dependent. I joke that the terrible two's started at 10 months for us, but it was true. We have a VERY strong willed child!

[Pollyanna]

When dd3 starts having a tantrum we tell her to leave the room and come back when she is done. Right now she is really good about doing it and will come back anywhere between 1 and 8 minutes saying, "I done crying mommy". If she gets to the point where she won't leave or throws herself on the floor I would just step over her and go into the next room. Usually works like a charm.

But a 9 month old? I don't think there is too much a 9 month old could do that would require a time-out.

[MrsK]

I've put BabyK in time out for pounding on the glass fireplace doors, hard and defiantly, after being told no and redirected repeatedly. I'll put him in his play pen and he'll cry a few minutes before getting focused on a toy in the playpen.

[Michele]

I just started time-outs w K....he's 2. D is finally getting to the point where I can use it as a discipline tool (he's 4). I'm pretty sure K will go through a defiant stage though where it won't work bc he won't sit still for if.

[DCJenn]

I found time-outs were much more effective when he was a toddler. Once he hit about age 3 they instead escalated the situation. Now he tries to use going to his room as a way to get out of doing things. I can't think of something that would warrant a time-out except for those things like BabyK did or putting fingers in sockets, etc- more to grab their attention than any real punishment.

Jenn

[Vanquisher]

I think I waited till at least two, if not three, for time outs. I think the concept is lost on smaller ones. I did firm "no's" and removed them from the situation or removed whatever object was causing problems or distracted the child.


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[HouseofWool]

We have been using time-outs since S was about 1 (she turned 2 last week). But she is a willful and defiant child - not for the faint of heart. Lately, it has been for things like hitting and kicking. Or, my personal favorite, refusing to look at me. As in, "look at me so I know you are listening". Genius that she is, she will typically look anywhere but at my eyes, which she knows is the desired action. The best part is when she lays on her belly pressing her nose into the floor to avoid my apparently basilisk-like gaze. *shrug* Who knows what goes through the mind of a toddler.

But, to the point - we used them young, mostly to extricate her from a situation that was escalating when she knew what she was doing was wrong.

[Deebs]

DD #1 got time outs starting at 9 months old, and I'm so glad I did it with her (neither of my other kids needed it at that age). She would get overwhelmed and/or tired and either hit other people or hurt herself (like bang her head on the floor). It would remove her from the situation and when she returned, she was fine. Time out at that age isn't the same, though. I would basically put her in the time out spot, and if she came out, it was fine. Now, at age 5 if she gets overwhelmed or can't handle a situation, she takes herself out of it (I don't see the same behavior from her friends - they just act out at that point).

[MrsK]

BTW, at 13 months,putting BabyK in time out for the behaviour I described is as much, if not more, about keeping me from losing it as it is about redirecting him. Also, I use time outs for the dog too. You would not believe how quickly she'll fall into line if I threaten to send her to "jail".