Sleep Issues #4,563,789 :)

[SuzySunshine]

Ok ladies, I need some help. A has always been a good sleeper, she is now 3 years and 3 months. She still naps every day and goes down easily, we never have any struggles getting her go to sleep at that time. Nap is usually around 12:30 or 1 and she usually sleeps about 90 mins to 2 hours usually getting up between 2:30 and 3pm.

Bedtime is a TOTALLY different story. Bedtime is 8pm she has a set routine and the end is that she can sit in her bed with a book as long as she stays in her room. We've been doing that since we potty trained her. She does still come out every once in a while to actually go potty after 8pm. The issue is that she also comes out 3+ times/night. When she goes to bed she has a night light and a lamp on when she falls asleep we go in and turn the lamp off.

We have tried the lamps that go red and green when you can or can't get up. We have tried taking things away, we have tried everything. But like tonight it is now 9:30pm and she is still awake and has been out probably half a dozen times.

I would love any and all suggestions for getting her to stay in her room and actually go to sleep!

We've thought about shortening her nap but the issue there is that if you wake her up regardless of how long she has slept she is CRANKY! I'm not sure she's ready to give it up completely either since she goes down so easily. I'm at a loss - wise moms, please HELP!

[scrub-jay]

I've been attempting to build a solid routine for my 10-month old dd, so I don't have hands-on experience. We've been reading "No-Cry Sleep Solutions" (Elizabeth Pantley) and I've found it REALLY helpful for us. I know there is a comparable book for toddlers and I recommend giving that a shot. One suggestion in my book (the baby version) is to make a bedtime book with your child - with pictures of everything in the routine and allowing your child to add things in they think might help them (helps them own the routine more I think). Then read that book every night before starting the routine. Kids who get up over and over again, give them X # of get-out-of-bed-free passes (literal tickets) and once those are used up, they have to stay in bed. I don't know, I could be getting these wrong, see if you can find the book, she has tons of tricks and tips and nothing is hard-and-fast about her methods.

Let me know how it goes.

[migirl]

My oldest was around that age when I stopped napping him because he was staying up too late at night (I instituted a quiet time in his room instead). The transition to no-nap was a little bumpy, but that's what worked for us.

Has she ever gone without her nap? It became really obvious when my kids were ready to stop napping because they would start skipping naps. He was only napping maybe half the time by that point.

[poky]

She's not supposed to come out of her room after the bedtime routine unless she has to use the bathroom...but what's the consequence if she does?

[Michele]

Fiddlegirl did a reward method with her daughter around that age. She bought a bag of cheap plastic animals, and if her DD stayed in her room all night until the clock turned green, she got to pick a toy. After a while she moved to weekly. It didn't work for my boys. I'm starting to think they just don't understand the concept of "later" yet. Any punishment or reward has to be immediate. Thumbs up/down has had moderate success. I finally got the boys to sleep all night by having them share a room. I know that's not an option for you.

[houseelf]

My guess is that A is transitioning out of napping. At three, some kids need like 1/2 nap or a nap every other day, which kind of disrupts the entire sleep pattern. It is super challenging and I wasn't very successful with it at all. It took like a year to get through. The good news is that once the naps were completely gone, night sleep went better. The bad news was that she was hell on wheels grumpy for until she adjusted, however.

Best of luck.

[SuzySunshine]

She has gone without her nap once, I was watching a friends' kids who do not nap and so she stayed up with them while R napped. She went right to sleep that night.

The consequence is that we turn off her lamp if she comes out after the 2nd or 3rd time but the problem is that she throws such a colossal fit I haven't followed through on it because I'm afraid she'll wake up R.

I think we're going to have to give up the naps.

[Deebs]

DS is the same age as A. He is now napping every other day (I tried shortening naps to 1 hour, and he was a MESS the rest of the day). He now goes to bed easily, but we went through the exact same thing a few weeks ago that you are doing now. I say, give her a nap the days you really need a break (keeping in mind that you might pay later that night), but otherwise, I'd try to skip them. Can you believe how the sleep issues just keep coming? It's one of the biggest mysteries of parenting, IMO.

[Pollyanna]

I hate to agree but I think it's time for no nap.

[Michele]

Sleeping habits must be inherited bc D is 4.5 y and he really does still need a nap most days. I remember napping in the early elementary years (until about 3rd grade)....my sister too. We were early risers (5-6am) and were in bed asleep by 7:30pm.

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks guys, still undecided what I'll do. I may try the bribing with the stop light clock again and see if we can get somewhere before I give up on the naps. She is napping now and has been down for almost 2 hours and went down so easily. The kids also slept until 7:30 this morning so if she would stay in her room I don't really have an issue with her staying up.

I'll keep you posted - thanks for the BTDT's and advice.