This is me being ridiculous

Okay so as most of you know I wasn't able to attempt nursing Ava-Marie until she was a week old because she spent time in the NICU (something that still bothers me--the not being allowed to nurse. Any ways, because of this she never did really well with nursing. She can and will nurse, but by the time she started actually nursing she was 10 weeks old and I had already established a routine with feeding her and pumping and it was working for us. Well now my milk supply as all but gone away , I get less than an ounce total now when I pump. And now that she is sleeping through the night when I pump in the morning I get MAYBE 1.5 oz. She has been getting both breast milk and formula for about a month now. More formula now than breast milk because of my low production. I want to just stop pumping because it is taking up A LOT of my time, with little gain, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel like a failure of a mom every time I think about stopping. I need some wise mommies to tell me (nicely) to stop being stupid and that its okay.

[BonBon]

It IS okay. Like you, I pumped for all my kids and you lasted longer than I did. It is SO time consuming, particularly because you have to pump, THEN feed. You are most certainly not a failure, though I understand the feeling. Honestly, when I finally quit pumping, the relief soon outweighed the guilt because it really frees up a lot of time that you and she can spend doing other things.

You have done BEAUTIFULLY, Krystal. I would not have been able to keep up with pumping that long.

If you want to keep pumping, there are possible ways to up your production, but I really do think you've done an amazing job. Formula is perfectly fine. Go easy on yourself (and give yourself a pat on the back for dealing with the pump this long).

[Vanquisher]

Stop being stupid. It is okay. You have done everything you can for her. She does not need breastmilk in order to be your perfect DD. You will be happier if you quit, which is better for her.

I felt TOTAL guilt when I couldn't breastfeed my DS. I had almost no milk production because he had a severe tongue-tie, and I could barely pump and ounce with him. I only breastfed him for two weeks. During those two weeks, I was a wreck. I tried so hard, and for a long time afterward, I felt that I had failed. He is now a VERY brilliant, vibrant, healthy 13-year-old.

I breastfed my DD for three months. The third month of our nursing relationship was spent with me in agony because I had recurrent mastitis that I took antibiotics for and nursed through it. Finally, it took a stay in the hospital with IV antibiotics because I was septic from bacteria resistant mastitis for me to give up. I felt less guilty and like less of a failure that time because I had already been through this. My DD is a freaking genius, healthy, happy 7-year-old.

You know it's okay. It's okay.

[HouseofWool]

It is okay to stop pumping. There isn't a formula fed kid out there that suffered irreparable damage from not nursing. The other thing to remember is that if she is nursing, she is much more efficient at extracting milk than a pump. So, while you may get only get an ounce, she probably gets more.

[BonBon]

To echo what Jenn said, you can take herbs to increase production if you really want to do that. Here's WAY tmi: With taking fenugreek and two other herbs, I got 20 oz off one breast and about 17-18 off the other for the day's first pump. They REALLY work.

[SuzySunshine]

Krystal, I've been there! BOTH of my kids were HORRIBLE and SLOW nursers so I pumped and gave them bottles. With A I made it almost six months but with R I didn't even make it as far as you have and I felt terrible when I stopped but they can sense your stress and they are happier kids because you are happier. Both of my kids are very healthy, in fact a lot healthier then a lot of my friends' kids and they both had formula from the very beginning and formula only before six months.

The guilt won't go away overnight but you are a GOOD mom and she will still be a great kid with formula.

[alison]

Stop pumping!!!

[v-girl]

You are a great mom no matter how you feed the little princess!

[MrsK]

I never did well pumping. It was a relief to stop. I nursed at home and sent formula to day care. It worked out so well that I may do the same for K2 as soon as he begins daycare.

[Pollyanna]

Stop the madness and enjoy your baby. Nursing does NOT make you a better mom. Repeat to yourself: NURSING DOES NOT MAKE ME A BETTER MOM, FORMULA DOES NOT HARM MY CHILD. I AM A ROCKIN' MOM AND I LOVE MY BABY, PERIOD.

[migirl]

Not ridiculous at all. No way. If I'd been unable to nurse my kids, I truly think I wouldn't have bothered pumping and would have gone straight to formula. Pumping just seems like too much work! I'm impressed that you've done it for this long, but if you think it's time to stop then go ahead and stop and do it without guilt and with the knowledge that you've done an AMAZING job.

[Meenah]

It is OK, you are a wonderful Mom. My girls both weaned at around 6 months, and they are fine!!!!!!

[ladymoreta]

I think it's fantastic that you've been pumping for so long! I wasn't even willing to pump during a short nursing strike. If you really want to continue nursing, I'd recommend talking to a lactation consultant. However, if you're ready to wean, you need to give yourself a big pat on the back for sticking with it through so much and happily switch to formula! Great job, Mommy!

[Thirteen]

As a new mom myself, I cannot believe how incredibly hard breastfeeding really is. I get it, and you should not feel any mommy guilt about this choice.
Was it Jenn who said, "As long as it's not grape soda in a bottle...(?)."
Sage words.
You are a great mom, K!