kid birthday party etiquette?

[moonlight]

Just wondering if this is the norm for kid birthday parties. DD and I are invited to a young child's birthday party from the mom's group. Yippie! The evite is a bit long. She tells us there will be cake and drinks for the kids. Gifts to the child are not required rather they would like us to bring plants as gifts so that she can grow her garden and finish her back yard landscaping. And then gives us the name of her preferred plant nursery. Dowhat? I guess I could have understood the "we like plants and already have enough toys" if it was said that way, but it wasn't. No big deal. Then she goes on to say that she wants each person to bring a dish for the adults and the kids to eat. Potluck birthday party and bring a plant? Is this what these kid parties are like now?

[SuzySunshine]

Um, I would say no. The gift thing maybe since she wants plants - but bringing the food, no way! Its a birthday party for your child, not a potluck IMO.

Um ... no.

[Vanquisher]

Wtf is up with people? That is so....wrong.

Buy a couple of packages of flower seeds and some garden gloves for the B-Day girl. Or don't go at all. That's what I'd lean toward.


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[Tenacious_D]

Shall we also pick up items at Costco that she's running out of...milk, eggs, cheese? That's absurd. If I went, I would bring a book about plants for the kid and a snack for my own child. Rude!!

[GrayMatterWife]

Wtf is up with people? That is so....wrong.

Buy a couple of packages of flower seeds and some garden gloves for the B-Day girl. Or don't go at all. That's what I'd lean toward.


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This. Exactly.

No, you should not use your child's birthday as a way to defray your landscaping costs. No, you should not throw a birthday party for your child and expect the other children (via their parents) to feed you. YOU are celebrating YOUR child's birthday by sharing that experience with OTHERS. So...SHARE your resources--feed the people who are kind enough to stop by in tribute to your child.

DUH. Isn't this formalized in the Rules Of How Not To Be A Completely F**Ked Up Parent? Or is this just an unwritten rule of the obvious?

I wouldn't go, but mail to the child an absolutely huge, outrageous, space-consuming TOY.

[corn poffi]

So freaking weird.

It seems like these would also be the kind of parents to complain that the food you brought wasn't healthy enough or something.

I wouldn't go.

[Pollyanna]

I would go and bring a dish for the children and buy a Little Tykes gardening kit for the Bday child. You will find that some parents are just idiots...there's no getting around it

[Phoebe]

Sorry, I just laughed out loud at this. That lady is crazy.

[TigerLily]

wow. just wow.

I agree with not going and sending a gigantic toy.

[scrub-jay]

Maybe if they indicated something like: dd LOVES working in the garden so feel free to bring her child-sized gloves/non-toxic plants... Etc. But for you? Um, get over yourself.

[moonlight]

So freaking weird.

It seems like these would also be the kind of parents to complain that the food you brought wasn't healthy enough or something.

I wouldn't go.

Ok. I'm so glad you said that about her (the mom) being weird! everyone. Some of the other moms were RSVPing Yes and seemed excited about it and I'm sitting here thinking WTH, am I losing my mind?!? And yes they are one of those very restrictive diet kind-of-people that I could easily offend (by bringing the wrong thing) because I'm clueless on all of their dietary restrictions.

Part of me understands the sentiment she was going for, but more than anything she just wants people to landscape her back yard and fill out her veggie garden! Give me a break lady. Find another sucker, I'm not going.

[BonBon]

Are the guests expected to plant the stuff too? Gawd. Why not throw the kid a party with just cake and ice cream? It's not a picnic for crying out loud.

I actually have far less of a problem with the potluck aspect of it than the "buy plants so we can finish our landscaping" aspect of it. That's akin to my BIL/SIL putting a Dyson and a Le Cruset Dutch Oven on their baby registry (which they recently did).

[BonBon]

That's akin to my BIL/SIL putting a Dyson and a Le Cruset Dutch Oven on their baby registry (which they recently did).