Nervous habits?

[alison]

My daughter does two things when her hands are free. 1) picks her lips until they bleed and 2) puts a huge knot into her hair.

When she really gets going, she does both at the same time.

I try to distract her by asking her to show me stuff like the stamps on her hands (she gets them at gymboree and ar library story time), but I can see her on the video monitor as she wakes up that she's got one hand knotting up her hair and the other at her mouth.

Any ideas on how to help her? Her lips are a bloody mess.

Genetics are working against her here, because both my husband and I are lip-pickers.

[diggitydot]

Keep her lips greased up with Vaseline and put her hair in braids.

[Momo]

Put the yucky tasting, thumb-sucking stuff on the her finger tips...maybe if it tastes bad she'll stop!?!

If her hair is too thin or fine to braid, can you cut it short & just do girly hair bows /accessories?

[alison]

Thanks! I'll try Vaseline. I've been using Chapstick, but it isn't greasy enough. I guess this applies to all of us -- we should stage a family intervention, since we all do it!

M has curls, so I don't want to cut it short quite yet. I will try putting it into pigtails and see how that goes.

[SuzySunshine]

Adele does the same thing with her lip, I truly think it is hereditary as DH does the SAME thing! I just make sure to put vaseline on them at night, its really the only time she'll let me put it on.

[PrincessFiona]

Alison, I think this is something to discuss with your pedi. Not to be a freak, but the level of picking (to bleeding) and hair knotting could be a manifestation of an ocd spectrum disorder. It also could be nothing. I would feel concerned though and would seek out professional advice.

Kris

[alison]

Thanks, Kris. My follow-up question with what to do was whether or not this was normal.
She's a nervous/jittery child to begin with, is easily frustrated, and always ALWAYS puts away her toys and proclaims things as "messy." I've attributed her temperament to being German, but it could be more than that. I feel sorry for her, because she's always on edge and never seems to be able to relax.

[PrincessFiona]

I think it warrants investigation. Still, I could be over-reacting ... I struggle with ocd though so im sensitive to it.

[v-girl]

Has she ever had strep?

Also, put her hair in pigtails and then make the pigtails into buns. Makes it harder for her to mess with it.

[weeniegeniewife]

I think it warrants investigation. Still, I could be over-reacting ... I struggle with ocd though so im sensitive to it.

I agree with Kris. I have had anxiety my whole life, and I work with a lot of kids and adults in my practice with anxiety/picking behaviors. It could be early manifestation of OCD, or it could be her coping mechanisms when she feels keyed up and anxious. The lines often blur, so an evaluation can't hurt.

[peggyfromwastate]

No advice, just lots of hugs!!!

[PrincessFiona]

It can't hurt. I actually have to put my hair up right now because of hair knotting/twisting. Its so terribly embarrassing because I can't stop myself. Its an anxiety soother for ne for sure.

The thing is, if I have to put my daughters hair up and worry about her lip biting, its an issue. If it makes you feel better, my 15 yr old is struggling with food-related ocd stuff. :/ Parenting is hard. I hope Im just reaching in regards to M. I probably am. It is still something to check into. Knowledge is reassuring. If it turns out to be nothing at least you will be reassured.

[alison]

No, she's never had strep. Are you referring to the lip picking with that? Is there sometimes a connection?

I didn't start picking mine until I was around 10. Dd started before she even turned 2.

The hair-knotting drives me insane, because it's such a tight knot. The second I get out, she works on a new one. Argh! The funny thing is that once she has a knot, she doesn't fiddle with her hair anymore; it's as if she feels like she's done with whatever plan it was that she had for her hair...

[v-girl]

There is a connection between strep and OCD behaviors -- the insistence on always putting everything away properly is what made me think about it. It's an auto-immune called PANDAS (not the cute animals from China). My friend's daughter has it so our awareness has been heightened.

[PrincessFiona]

I think PANDAS is something sudden onset that can respond to abx, steroids etc. There are clear guidelines. This is why she should seek out her pedi.