Babysitter ?

[SuzySunshine]

We have a good sitter that we have used since shortly after we moved here. We use her pretty consistently so I think the kids are comfortable with her. Last Saturday night DH and I went out and as we were leaving A threw a huge fit. Crying and saying Please don't go, please stay. After several minutes we got her calmed down enough for us to leave, I called the sitter at the end of the street and she said she was fine. Today I mentioned several times that she was coming to sit and A never said anything good or bad. When I went to leave she did it again.

I left but I don't know what to do. I would maybe expect this from R but A has never done this...

[v-girl]

No advice. Just . Can you have the sitter come visit while you are home? Or go with you guys to the park. Maybe she needs a little more getting used to her?

[Vishenka69]

Can you distract A with something so that she doesn't notice you leave? DD always freaks out if she sees either of us leave, but she's fine once we're gone. I usually try to leave in the middle of her meal, so that she's occupied with eating or cartoons.

[ladymoreta]

DS has almost always freaked out as we leave - even before most babies his age started showing separation anxiety. It's best just to leave as quickly and positively as we can (no sneaking away, but no dragging it out either). He is also usually fine moments after we're gone.

One thing... Since this is uncommon for A, are you getting any other red flags or just mommy instincts about the sitter? Most likely this is just a phase, but is it possible that she's not a good personality fit? Have you left her with any other caregivers recently to see if it's specific to this sitter?

[Momo]

Didn't A do the same thing w/soccer? I think you did the right thing letting her forgo soccer, but the bad side is that it may have empowered her. She may just be trying to get you to cave to her tantrums. It sounds like you vetted the sitter& obviously like her enough...I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[SuzySunshine]

I'm going to try to talk to her about it tomorrow and see if I can find anything out but I don't think its the sitter. She jumps right in with the kids when she gets here and I don't get any bad vibes from her at all.

[Phoebe]

Didn't A do the same thing w/soccer? I think you did the right thing letting her forgo soccer, but the bad side is that it may have empowered her. She may just be trying to get you to cave to her tantrums. It sounds like you vetted the sitter& obviously like her enough...I wouldn't worry too much about it.

That's what I was thinking.

[L.Jane]

I think as others alluded too, it could be she just wants to be with you. The two I nanny for pretty much throw a "I want daddy" fit everyday when I show up at school to pick them up (half the time I pick them up, half the time their dad does). They have a great time with me (I hope) but nothing compares to having mom and dad. This could be especially hard for her right now because of the move.

[diggitydot]

I've never known a kid who didn't do this at some point. Like someone else already posted, don't prolong the goodbye and don't sneak out. Just make it a quick goodbye and get out.

[Deebs]

I would take that as a sign that the move has affected her and she is probably just a little insecure about your leaving. I would prep her beforehand that you will be leaving, but that you "always come back." My kids sometimes reassure each other now, but we definitely have had separation issues with each move we've made.