Private School

[SuzySunshine]

So of course I'm looking at schools for the kids, just preschools at this point, and we are specifically choosing to live in one state versus the other because it has better public schools and therefore we can choose to send them public. I don't have a set preference one way or the other right now. I've really only been looking at the catholic preschools though because the one we will be near is good according to several sources and the price is close to what we pay now for A.

However a friend just sent me a link to another private school that a friend of hers is considering for her kids. So I went to the website and checked it out, BAD idea. I love it. It is the same Reggio Emilia theory that the preschool at Stanford, which I worked at, is. THEN I looked at the tuition. HOLY CRAP! How do parents justify spending more on one year's preschool tuition then they spent on their own college tuition? Yes, I realize I went to a very reasonably priced in state college but REALLY?!?!

Please tell me that a ridiculously expensive private preschool is not necessary for smart/caring/good kids?

UGH!!

[SuzySunshine]

That last question is really rhetorical, I know its not - I just don't understand why the school I have looked for for years is SO frickin pricey! GRRR!

[madeintaiwan]

Please tell me that a ridiculously expensive private preschool is not necessary for smart/caring/good kids?

Of course it isn't. You know that. Hell, I didn't even send my kids to "preschool." They each did one year of pre-k. And I'm obviously biased, but my kids are definitely at least normal. DS1 is extremely bright-- reads well above his grade level, is awesome at problem solving, gets 100% on the district math assessments and is doing 6th grade Pre-Algebra as a 5th grader.

It is what it is and it is what you make of it.

One of the residents sends their kid to Pembroke for preschool. They absolutely love it. I think that is great.

If you like the school and you want her to attend, and you can afford to send her, then send her.

[Deebs]

We did private school last year for pre-k. The teacher never figured out that my DD could read (we knew she could), and when I went for her conference, I felt like she had no idea who DD was. This year, we moved to an area for the excellent public schools. The teacher knew my daughter better within one day than last year's teacher probably knew her by the last day. The great thing is - you have options! Start at a school you are comfortable with, and go from there.

[spotty_dog]

No preschool is worth a high price tag to me, personally. Kind of the opposite, in fact -- the higher the tuition, it seems the more pressure is put on the teachers to produce results in the kids. I do NOT like that kind of pressure being brought on my under-fives.

[diggitydot]

Our two oldest didn't attend any pre-K schooling, at all. Both are in high honors magnet programs and are blowing the doors off their classes.

DS attended preschool to have access to resources for his language disorder. They were a complete fucking mess. I had to ask for his IEP to be re-written twice because it was completely unintelligible. His "teacher" didn't really know him, couldn't compose even the most basic sentences correctly, and had the classroom management skills of a baboon with the communication skills to match. Longest 6 months, ever.

[Vanquisher]

My kids have never done private, and they won't do private. The public high school where Ry will go next year has an 84% university acceptance rate. That is higher than every single private school in the area. They have a lot more variety of programs and a lot more AP class offerings. Both of my kids are thriving, really, in public school. They've got great friends and DS was able to go to Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Monticello this year with his gifted social studies program.

It really depends on what is important to you. Education is of the utmost importance to me, but I don't think tuition for private school especially a preschool can be justified if you have good public schools. Ryan went to pre-k. Lexi had no preschool at all, zero, not one day.

[SoonerTexan]

This is way down the road for you, but we really wish DHs parents spent the money on college/med school vs his crappy private high school when the public option was great. Since we went to college on a scholarship he could be going to med school debt free with the same cost to his parents and probably a better HS education. Not that we expect his parents to pay or anything. Just something to think about.

[alison]

What is a high price tag for preschool? We're sending M to a 2-day/week preschool in the fall. It's 3 hours long and $500/month.

The pre-k that I would like her to go to is connected to an elementary school and tuition is the same for all the years of elementary school. It's more than what I paid per year for college.

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks guys - I know you're all right! I'm just frustrated that that type, the TRUE play based/child led is so expensive!

Can we afford it and still save for college yes? Are we going to? Probably not, I'm with most of you - I don't see the point. I'm already concerned that we're going to end up in snooty-ville, sending them there would only make it worse IMO.

There is no such thing as a public preschool, right? I mean MN comes close it with their Early Childhood options but I don't think other states (at least not ones I've been in) are near as good with that. Why does picking schools have to be so hard?

Thanks for letting me vent.

[SuzySunshine]

alison, the one I'm referring to is $7,900 for preschool - of course that is 5 days/week, even for a 2 1/2 year old, which is another turn off for me. Half days but still every day is to much for a 2 1/2 year old. Its to much!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Went to private school my entire life. Really, really spendy private school. My parents sacrificed and killed themselves working to send the two of us to them. My take: wasn't worth it.

I drove an HOUR each way to school for 7 years (middle school and high school). By the time I graduated, I had spent the equivalent of 150 DAYS in the car. Plus, though it's impossible to know, I would chalk up my years of terrible self-esteem and eating disorders to that (all girls) incredibly posh, incredibly rigorous pressure cooker. I got a GREAT education, don't get me wrong...but I wouldn't send my daughter there.

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks gang, this is all very helpful - it just reaffirms what I was already thinking. It'll be an interesting conversation to have with DH because he did go to private school his whole life, I didn't.

[alison]

I switched from private to public in 3rd grade, and was traumatized at first by the almost doubling of my class size and the adjustment to major behavior problems. It also didn't help that I'd often see my teacher crying...

We are going to try to send M to private schools. It's a huge financial strain, but as long as we live in this city, we will try.

[alison]

That tuition (for the number of days) doesn't seem crazy to me from what we've seen here in our search. 5 days for a 2.5 year old is quite intense though.