At home daycare/Nanny

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

So I'm starting to think that a nanny at our house or perhaps in-home care somewhere else would be ideal. I have checked care[dot]com, craigslist, and also looked into nanny matching services. What us the best way to go about this? I am doing this from Ohio (with probably 1 trip to NC) so I am sort of lost. Obviously I'd love to interview a million candidates but that's not going to be possible.

Ideally I'd find a fellow resident spouse but not sure how to go about connecting with those people...

[MrsK]

I'd be very hesitant to do that. I had bad experiences with care.com and I'd stay away from craigslist all together. A criminal background only tells you that the caregiver hasn't been caught doing anything criminal - not if they have other issues. Those caregivers will be alone with your child without anyone watching them. Be careful. Also, those caregivers generally don't have any licences or credentials. Same thing with in their home. I wouldn't do that unless I knew them very well myself.

[MrsK]

If you want to use a nanny or at home day care, I suggest you speak with the local clergy, medical alliance, and attendings/residents in your DH's program. They will have more personal knowledge of prospective caregivers. (That said, I once went out for coffee with a convicted bank robber I met at temple.)

[ides]

I would advise to wait until you move to start the hunt then talk to everyone and keep hunting until you find someone you are comfortable with. Then be home with them off and on and put in several nanny cams. Better to be safe than sorry. Also see if there are any nanny agencies or au pair programs available.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I would advise to wait until you move to start the hunt then talk to everyone and keep hunting until you find someone you are comfortable with. Then be home with them off and on and put in several nanny cams. Better to be safe than sorry. Also see if there are any nanny agencies or au pair programs available.

No can do, I need care immediately when we move.

If we did care in our home, I'd be home since I work from home.

So you guys would recommend using a placement agency?

[Pollyanna]

I agree with MrsK. I would likely look for a nanny/caregiver service first and then look to see if there is a medical spouse support group and make contact there. Your dh could also talk to the program director (they are typically very helpful with a variety of relocation issues). My only concern with using another fellow resident spouse is that 99% it's never good to mix personal and professional relationships. If you want to use another resident spouse I would at least make sure your spouses were in different programs.

I don't think we are helping at all are we? Will you have some time off when you get to NC so you can feel comfortable about getting your caregiver in place?

[Thirteen]

Are there any major universities nearby with ECE programs? You could try contacting their department head, letting him or her know of your need, and utilizing the alumni network/current students.
Of course, you would also want personal references, a background check, CPR/FirstAid certification, and some work experience, etc.
Just a thought!

[SuzySunshine]

I'm still trying to get you the contact for the Side By Side group there. I will e-mail again today but I agree since you're doing it long distance I would use an agency.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I don't think we are helping at all are we? Will you have some time off when you get to NC so you can feel comfortable about getting your caregiver in place?

Sadly no...I wish.

I'm sort of freaking out. How the hell am I supposed to find daycare without living there? And of course regular 7-6 care isnt going to cover it because I travel for work.

[Pollyanna]

I wish I had a good answer for you. I know you have to start working right away, is there anyway you could avoid travel so at least you would be home to observe the caregiver? In your situation it seems like you really may need someone that lives in and is a professional. I know that will be more expensive but with travel and a resident schedule I am not sure of a better option.

[scrub-jay]

There is a mother at our daycare with a similar situation. Her husband is deployed and she often works odd hours. She ended up bonding with one of the teachers and that teacher is the babysitter/secondary caregiver when she is gone. Teacher will take the girls to and from school, prep dinner, put the girls to bed, etc when mom is working late. Best of both worlds - daycare background checks and socialization as well as odd-hour care.

[Bittersweet]

I'm at work right now but will post later. We've used both a nanny and home daycare. I think you can make this work from afar with a few trips for interviews.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I wish I had a good answer for you. I know you have to start working right away, is there anyway you could avoid travel so at least you would be home to observe the caregiver? In your situation it seems like you really may need someone that lives in and is a professional. I know that will be more expensive but with travel and a resident schedule I am not sure of a better option.

Yeah, I'm thinking along the same lines. So I think it sounds like a placement firm might be the best option...

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm at work right now but will post later. We've used both a nanny and home daycare. I think you can make this work from afar with a few trips for interviews.

Thanks! Would really love input from everyone!

[GrayMatterWife]

DS's first year of life, we were living in Dallas, and I was working at a large law firm. Very demanding, long hours. I hired a fellow med school mom to watch DS at her apartment, with her 2 year old daughter. She had a base salary (not hourly), plus I paid tips and overtime as a courtesy. Yeah, I paid her VERY well, with this understanding: she was basically available whenever I needed her. I generally dropped off around 8 and picked up around 6, but there were many mornings earlier and many nights later. I always paid her extra though if I picked up after six (that wasn't an official part of the deal, but I always did). And whenever I could, I would try to pick him up early. She got several weeks if paid vacation off, a tip every week, and a good bonus at the end of the year.

Money can buy you pretty much whatever you need, but you have to be willing to shell out for it. In my experience, if you need premiere, flexible, full-time, RELIABLE nanny care, it will cost you.

But man, I loved that woman. She was a saint.

When you get to NC, try finding a spouse group at the med school and seeing I'd anyone needs work or has a reference for someone.