The witching hour/Dinner Prep with kiddos

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Ok, it's completely pathetic that I can't figure this out but, whatever, I know the collective MSN braintrust can help me figure it out. My ego isn't so big that I can't ask for help from the many more competent mothers here.

The pre-dinner hour is driving me BONKERS and I'm at a loss for what to do. I work from home so I head downstairs to DD at 5-5:30 and take her from the nanny. We cuddle/nurse for 15-20 minutes and then I try to get dinner ready. Dh will be home anytime between 6 and 10 PM. I really am trying though to emphasize dinner and sitting down to eat meals vs. my inclination to just eat cereal most nights and call it a day (and trust me, that DOES happen some nights and I don't beat myself up over it).

The problem is, most nights "dinner prep" involves holding/wearing a screaming child who refuses to be put down while I attempt to chop/cook/prep whatever I've decided to make for dinner. Very rarely, she will play on the floor next to me but mostly she crawls to me whimpering and begging to be picked up. Wearing her also rarely helps (in front or back carries). She wants me holding her or nursing her or something and often, those don't even make her happy. I'll offer her nursing and she pops on and off over and over. DH witnessed it last night. He heard him whimpering/fussing over the phone, he came home and she was all sweetness and light to him but as soon as I came over to her, cue the whimpering.

I just don't know what to do and I'm getting really frustrated. And, I feel guilty because I KNOW this is because she's seeing me again after a long day of (mostly) not seeing me. The other night, I turned the stove on/off 3x to take her upstairs and nurse her lying down because I thought she might be tired. Sometimes she passes out in a front carry but that's hard because I'm terrified of cooking/opening the stove with her in a front carry - if she startled, she might burn herself because her legs reach almost to my knees.

Any tips? Anything I can do to ease back into the evening with her and prevent the whimpering? I know it's ME, she doesn't do this for my SIL or DH so I need to figure out how to deal with her since DH is rarely home before I can get dinner finished.

I know many of you guys do this with more than 1 kiddo so this must sound absurd that I can't handle a single 6.5 month old but take pity on me and give me some tips! (And if you've got any advice on the pinging blackberry in the background...besides throwing it through a window...I'll take those too).

[MrsK]

That is the worst time of the day for us too. Don't fret about having been apart/reunifying. K2 does the same thing even if he's been with me all day and K1 or DrK are available to entertain him. I try to skip dinner prep on nights that I know DrK will be late. No sense in spending time apart from the kids while they fight and destroy the house if they are just going to throw dinner on the floor anyway. Other nights, I try to do my chopping and prep the night before or during naptime to speed up the witching hour cooking.

As for the clinging, sometimes putting K2 in the highchair with a snack (cheereos, peas) will keep him busy long enough for me to get something in the oven.

[ladymoreta]

Anxiously awaiting some replies because I suck at dinner time... If I have to cook, I plop her in the exersaucer and hope her brother will get tired of her fussing before I do. (He entertains her, so your last paragraph is backwards. It's actually a little easier with two if/when they cooperate!)

My biggest tip is to prepare as much as you can at other times. I have done one two-week cycle from a freezer meals cookbook, and it was amazing! DH and I teamed up on a Saturday he was off and cooked 14 meals. Then I just had to remember to take it out of the freezer the night before to thaw a little. It usually only involved warming up, or minimal prep, like boiling some pasta. This is the cookbook I have: Once a Month Cooking, Family Favorites. Now that we don't have any of those left, if DH isn't home, I do stuff like TV dinners, frozen pizza, or leftovers.

[Phoebe]

I have started putting DD (5.5 months) in her high chair while I prep dinner. I put a bib on her and give her toys and sometimes these organic rice rusks wafers called Baby Mum-mums. She likes them a lot, can feed herself and doesn't choke on them. She is all about the food so I started her on puréed earlier than I planned. The rusks keep her occupied and they aren't that messy.

[moonlight]

I just remember that phase being totally maddening because there wasn't anything I could figure out that she wanted. She was with me all day and she still started crying and getting super fussy around 5pm. It would go on for 2 hours until I gave her a bath and put her to bed. It sounds so bad but there was nothing we could do to get her to bed without crying. She cried every single time she went to sleep for most of the first year of her life. Ugg. I think this is how my DH ended up cooking most of the time for dinner because I was pulling my hair out crazy by 6pm. Again, I know NONE of this is helpful! I just wanted you to know I'm sorry, she'll stop doing it eventually, and I personally never did figure what the hell she wanted between 5 and 7pm.

[Michele]

If baby wearing isn't helping, then I've got nothing. .

It will get better, though.

Try to do the meal prep another time. Or have the nanny do some during the day or have her stay later occasionally to cook. High chair in the kitchen is another great idea. Wooden spoon. Some Tupperware. Mommy dancing an acting the fool while cooking. Whatever it takes.

[SoonerTexan]

If she wont have it in the exersaucer, I put her in the ergo on my back. I worry about the front carry for the same reasons you do.

Or sometimes the high chair with some puffs. Luckily our kitchen is pretty much the same room as the 2nd living area, so I can usually get her to play for awhile.

[Auspicious]

Crockpot!

Witching hour blows. This question is not lame at all.

ETA: I was with my kids all day and they still pulled this every evening. I think it's the time of day that makes them clingy, not the separation.

[alison]

Germans eat something called "Abendbrot."

It's basically bread that is sliced and toasted. Butter the bread and add whatever you want to put on it. Cold cuts, cheese, some tomatoes. You can bring the toaster to the dinner table so that you don't have to go back and forth to the kitchen. Depending on if you have enough hands to do it, you can add a salad to it. Or soup.

I usually slice up whatever needs to go from my csa bounty, and add fruit, too. It's easy, and the prep work is done by everyone for themselves at the table.

[JC76]

I've never had the discipline to do this myself, but I knew another attorney with two kids under 3 who worked long hours but was still able to get dinner on the table most nights by basically prepping and refridgerating/freezing 3 complete meals with enough for leftovers all on Sunday afternoons. Much like what Laurie suggested, except she would only focus on making 3 meals and eating leftovers 2 other nights. She would do everything on Sunday afternoon when it was a good time for her kids. Then she'd come home after work on weekdays, pop things in the oven or microwave to warm up, or boil the pasta, etc, and she had dinner ready in a few minutes. It takes some hours of effort on one weekend day, but I think the weekday payoff is big. I should add that she did not have a doctor spouse, so he likely helped occupy the kids on Sundays while she prepped everything. A lot of us don't have that luxury. Good luck! The witching hour blows.

[SoonerTexan]

You know, I was thinking, "Hmmm I haven't really run into this that often."

And it hit me that I don't really cook much at dinner time. Like others mentioned, we have a lot of leftovers, and when I do cook, 50% of the time it is for a future meal after the terrorist has gone to sleep. Now when she decides to stay up til midnight *ahem like last night* I'm screwed.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Distraction, distraction, distraction!

You've gotten good suggestions. We even bought one of the FP iPhone cases for times when DD needs to behave or be occupied and nothing else works (last resort). Food usually works, though!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Thanks for the ideas guys!

Since we just moved and still have a ton to do, it's hard for me to take DH's 1 afternoon off per week to cook meals as there's a long "to do" list and I also want to spend time together as the 3 of us. Also, I have found a lot of slow cooker meals to be high in sugar/calories and maybe not the healthiest - clearly I need to do more digging!

I think I might need to do prep at night (at least chopping veggies) though as ST suggested. It would be nice if she went to bed before 9 or 10 PM but I need to get to this stuff the night before. I do make big meals and use leftovers but that's not always possible obviously.

I have also been holding off feeding her because it's fun for us to all eat "together" when DH gets home but I'm probably trying to do too much. I let her take a late nap with the nanny so she stays up for Daddy and then hold off with dinner, etc. It's a nice idea but maybe not so practical as she gets older. I was trying to preserve their time together and as a family but I guess I shouldn't do that at the expense of my sanity.

[Deebs]

What is the nanny doing while D is sleeping (I do realize she's not a good sleeper)? Is it possible she can throw something in the crockpot for you?

[diggitydot]

Head over to Pinterest for healthy crockpot meal ideas. There are loads of them there.