How would you handle this without making it worse?

[hanginginthere]

We recently were invited to a get together - we were told to bring the kid as it was kid friendly...we got there and people were drinking- and getting rather loud and debating...the wife of another doctor got very drunk and began screaming and swearing so I scooped up my kid and left and told the host that I was sorry but could not stay with a kid there...I wanted to tell this lady off but opted not to as I didn't want to make trouble for hubby as you never know when he can have to deal with these people again but I can't believe that anyone would act that way in front of a small child...I was so disappointed as we rarely get out and I was looking forward to a fun time...Has anyone else had to deal with something like this and how did you handle it?

[GrayMatterWife]

In my opinion, you handled it just fine. Yeah, the hostess's feelings might have been hurt--or at least she should have been embarrassed--but that was not your priority to attend to. Honestly, I probably would have gotten up and left even I did not have kids. Who wants to be involved in that?? I assure you--every single same parent there completely understood why you left and thought you did the right thing. The only way you could have made the situation worse (short of getting involved) was by NOT leaving and continuing to subjectnyour child to the abusive language.

[MrsK]

in my opinion, you handled it just fine. Yeah, the hostess's feelings might have been hurt--or at least she should have been embarrassed--but that was not your priority to attend to. Honestly, i probably would have gotten up and left even i did not have kids. Who wants to be involved in that?? I assure you--every single same parent there completely understood why you left and thought you did the right thing. The only way you could have made the situation worse (short of getting involved) was by not leaving and continuing to subjectnyour child to the abusive language.

ita 100%

[PrincessFiona]

I think you were fine. The hostess might have been infuriated by the behavior too. We once had a guest (also an md) who had too much to drink and started tossing around the f bomb. It was embarrassing and I didnt know what to do. Frankly, I wished I could have left! Lol

Kris

[v-girl]

I think you did just fine.

[ides]

I think you did just fine.

This.

[diggitydot]

I'm probably not the best person to ask that question.

I rarely, if ever, make things better -- but I think you were fine.

[GrayMatterWife]

BTW: I was SO tempted at first to write exactly what Diggity did! I doubt I would have made it better, either.

You handled it in a subtler, more decorus and dignified way than I would have. I would probably have sent kids out to the car with Dad, then loudly asked if I could drive the offender home, since she was clearly drunk. And it probably would have gone nowhere happy from there.

You chose the wiser path. The only thing I might add would be: next time, quietly but firmly suggest to the hostess that she block in the offender's car and call a cab for her.

[samssugarmomma]

I think you handled it very gracefully.

If I'd been the host I probably would have taken the offender aside and said that we don't talk that way in our home (even though I have a terrible potty mouth) and that if they couldn't respect our home then they could leave.

[Meenah]

I think you handled it very gracefully.

Ditto!

[hanginginthere]

I actually made hubby say something to the host and thankfully, that lady did not drive...

BTW: I was SO tempted at first to write exactly what Diggity did! I doubt I would have made it better, either.

You handled it in a subtler, more decorus and dignified way than I would have. I would probably have sent kids out to the car with Dad, then loudly asked if I could drive the offender home, since she was clearly drunk. And it probably would have gone nowhere happy from there.

You chose the wiser path. The only thing I might add would be: next time, quietly but firmly suggest to the hostess that she block in the offender's car and call a cab for her.

[hanginginthere]

Thank you ladies! I feel better after seeing all of your responses...I still feel terrible for the hosts though- they must have been so embarrassed to have that happen in their home...I think we need to invite them over for dinner or a lunch....

[MrsK]

I was once at a Shabbat dinner where an argument erupted about South African politics. The argument was so heated that one guest stormed out in tears. Another guest who was there and who I'd had the displeasure of dining with at the same home on Shabbat before was just a bully. As a previous dinner, I'd arrived to hear him bullying another guest about her opinions regarding abortion. It's amazing how one belligerent guest can ruin a party.