Babies behaving badly

[GreyhoundsRUs]

So, A is 13 months old. Over the past week or so, she has developed a series of bad habits - biting, scratching, hair pulling. She only does these things to me - but I don't know if it's because she's with me all the time. She will also ferociously bite objects and has almost bitten a hole in the couch (bit, then pulled away, leaving a huge scratch in the leather). She is on track with all her milestones, but part of me says that maybe she is "delayed" in her verbal skills - insomuch as her brain is more advanced than her speech (if that makes any sense. She's also been extremely clingy with both DH and myself - doesn't want to be put down, even if we're at home. I'm frustrated and worried - frustrated because I can't get anything accomplished, worried that she's going to start biting other people. She has never bit DH or the dog...

It doesn't help that I'm in the "what the hell did I get myself into" stage (Bittersweet - any suggestions???)

[SoonerTexan]

Ha we just came from a ped appt and the ped warned me about this. I can't speak from personal experience but it sounds 100% normal

[MarissaNicole]

In regards to needing to be held all the time, do you ever leave her with anyone else? DD is still high maintenance or as my mom says "a girl" but she is much more easy going and independent since I went back to work. And while I still think she gets plenty of attention but she no longer has to be the center of attention at all times.

[SoonerTexan]

Also, is she teething? This is supposed to be the height of separation anxiety too. It's ramped up here and has at right about a year with all the kids in our playgroup

[GreyhoundsRUs]

She is teething, but she has never seemed to really be bothered by it (outside of drooling and chewing her fingers). I gave her some Advil at about 10. She's napping right now - she hasn't taken a morning nap in a long time. MN - she's not really ever left with anyone. She was at the neighbor's for an hour last week to play with their two girls, and was fine. We left her last night with one of the other residents because we had an event to go to - she refused to go to sleep for them :/ She was up, crying until 10. It just makes me sad because she's so wonderful when she's happy, and I don't know what all this baby angst is about. As Alison would say, she's kind of being an a-hole right now.

I don't really want to call peds if she's being normal These are the milestones they don't put in the chart...

[HouseofWool]

Which teeth is she getting? If it is the eye teeth they hurt like a mo-fo... Try giving her some Tylenol and see if that helps with the chewing. And yes, separation anxiety is awful right around that age. Hell I lived with my parents and S would be sobbing if I left her with them for a hour.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

The front 8 are above ground, it's hard to tell what's going on below because I don't want to get bit

[HouseofWool]

Usually they get the front 4, skip the eye teeth, get a set of bicuspids, then the eye teeth. So if she only has 4, then that isn't likely the set she is getting in.

But, I'm still in the camp of give her some tylenol and see if she feels better.

[Phoebe]

I say teeth

[ladymoreta]

I agree - it sounds normal, and likely teething. Definitely try Tylenol or Ibuprofen and see if it helps.

For the biting and scratching you, a strong "no" and putting her down and walking away may help.

[Thirteen]

Ha we just came from a ped appt and the ped warned me about this. I can't speak from personal experience but it sounds 100% normal

It is normal. That was when we had lots of "aggressive" biting/lunging/hitting. Verbally, they just aren't there yet, and even if they know sign language, toddlers have poor impulse control.
I was at my wit's end with the biting, so I started time out at 13 months. He is now 20 months, and I can give him a choice that involves "...or you will go into time out," and it fends off bad behavior. He gets it. You might feel silly, but she can understand the concept and will catch on sooner than you think.
Not sure if you want to go the time out route yet, but it is available if you want to show her consequences that don't involve separation anxiety or spanking.

[Bittersweet]

Oh yes, I remember this phase well. DS was a clingy, biting monster at 13 months. I'm posting on the fly, so I'm leaving out a ton of details ... but DS just needed time to mature and gain more words. He's much more pleasant to be around now that's he's using sentences (I swear the kid hated being a baby). You'll be amazed by how much your daughter matures in the coming months all on her own.

I pretty much spent my entire second pregnancy in "holy crap, how am I going to handle this" land. For me anyway, this aggression/clingy phase was harder to handle emotionally because I felt this urgency to get DS's behavior under control in preparation for baby #2. Not saying you're doing this ... but don't be like me. I wasted so much energy and joy worrying. Live in the moment. Everything else will fall into place - really! For me anyway, the transition from 0 to 1 was waaaay harder than going from 1 to 2 (I totally just jinxed myself there, didn't I ). You're going to do great!

ETA: Just to ease your mind a little: DS bit me like it was his job. However, he never, ever bit anyone else.

[ladymoreta]

Yes, exactly what Bittersweet said! DS hit a really great phase right around 18-19 months (DD was born when he was 20 months). Don't panic!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Yes, exactly what Bittersweet said! DS hit a really great phase right around 18-19 months (DD was born when he was 20 months). Don't panic!

Thanks, ladies! It's so hard to think about where she'll be developmentally! I keep thinking about DH's great grandma who had 3 kids each 15 months apart!