Weaning

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We began weaning DD last week to whole cow's milk during the day. Then, I got really sick and though I was hoping to continue our nighttime/evening breastfeeding relationship, my supply is absolutely tanking. At this point, she's taking well to milk so we've decided to move in a straight line but it's really hard for me to know what she needs.

During the day, she's on three meals and 2 bottles of 4ish oz of milk. Up until a few nights ago, I was nursing her at bedtime and at 5 AM but she started waking up in the middle of the night screaming in hunger (it was pretty obvious) so I'd rush around and get her more milk. So, my question is, how much milk should she take at bedtime and if her bedtime is at 8, will she need to eat again at 5 AM and if so, how much? She's never slept through the night so I seriously doubt that she's going to become one of those babies who does so now. And I know you shouldn't give them a bottle of milk at bedtime for very long but I can't fight that battle right now. How do those of you who weaned (especially if your child didn't sleep through the night) handle bedtime feeding and middle of the night feedings?

I'm very wistful about this. I'm happy to not be pumping during the day but I did really love breastfeeding her. Any tips of how to maintain our physical closeness would also be appreciated! Mama's sad.

[SoonerTexan]

Wish I knew. I want this rabid monkey off my boob. At least while she's in the MUST NURSE ALL THE TIME stage while she cuts molars. I'm never safe.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

No advice here - my supply tanked when I got my first period. She was then on formula until we switched her to milk. My neighbor remembers both her girls (4 & 2) being done with before nap/before bed feedings around 1 (both were BF).

As far as bond, DD isn't a snuggler, but in the past week or so, she's started bring me a book and sitting on my lap (or forcing my legs down if there's no seat). I wouldn't worry - your her momma

[HouseofWool]

So, DD has never slept through the night consistently. At nearly 4 she still wakes in the middle of the night at least a couple times a week. When I weaned her, I got rid of the middle of the night feedings first. I would nurse her before bed and then top her off with a bottle so that her belly was as full as possible when I put her down. The first few days were rough, because she wanted that feeding. Since it was just me, I would get up with her and snuggle and rock her until she was calm and then put her back down. Once she got used to the fact that she wasn't getting a snack in the middle of the night, things improved and from there, we were able to drop the before sleep feedings, first the feeding before nap as she was busy during the day anyway. The last feeding to go was the bedtime one.

[houseelf]

This is one of those bittersweet milestones. Seriously, the end of BF is as hard as the first day of kindergarten. Give yourself permission to be a little sad.

RE: Advice. I got nothing. Once my babies started cutting back on feedings, it was all I could do to keep making milk at all. Weaning was a fairly quick process in all three cases and invariably occurred around 11 months. I *wish* I could have been one of those mamas that nursed just before bedtime for a little while longer. That just isn't how I'm built. It sounds like this might be the case for you. My kids still snuggle however so all is not lost.

[Thirteen]

DH was down to 2x night feedings around 10 months (unnecessary), so I had DH go in and comfort him, and pushed the 2nd feeding into "morning time" (5-6am). That's how we dropped one of them. As far as weaning entirely, he dropped his bedtime nursing one first, then pushed his 2nd feeding into "morning time" nursing, so we only had 1x a night (no bedtime nursing) at about 11-12 months. One night, he didn't ask for milk, and he night weaned himself. The only one left was the morning time feeding, which became less and less about food and more about "this thing we do when I wake up."
At 13 1/2-14 months, he stopped asking to nurse in the morning. It just went poof! A couple days of not asking to nurse, and he was done.
I did nurse him about a week later, since he was running a fever and clearly wanted to nurse. I'm not sure if I even really produced anything worthwhile, but it did comfort him, so it was the right decision for us.
He's been weaned completely since 14 months, and I had no health issues (clogged ducts, mastitis, etc). I'm kind of a push over, and thought it would be better for him to dictate when we were done - it worked for us, but I know it isn't for everybody.

I don't give him cow's milk though, so I'm not sure how to answer that part. How old is she, again? The "screaming in hunger" thing could indicate another growth spurt, new teeth, etc. She may be getting ready to grow, and needs the extra calories.
How comfortable are you with snack foods? Maybe 1-2 snacks a day, depending on her cues?

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm happy to give her whatever she needs - I will give her snacks, food, milk, whatever.

So, Kelly, did you replace with milk? Did they need calories at dinner or at night? If it's not breastmilk, do I need to continue to provide food (in liquid or solid form).

So, I think I'll offer milk and encourage her to push back the feeding to 5 AM but it's not unreasonable for her to need it. I'm a pushover too but I also don't want to be fetching milk 3x/night.

[houseelf]

My kids were all sleeping through the night at 11 months, so I'm no help there. Without going down another Ferber discussion road, I think that most infants should be able to learn how to sleep through the night at around 11 months. I would at least work to get her down to one feeding maximum. But that's me and God knows I have no freaking idea what I'm doing with these kids. I'm just winging it over here.

[MrsK]

First, talk to your peditrician about her milk intake. Mine told me that at 1 yo (and even now at 18mo and 3yo) the boys should get at least 18 oz daily. However, there is such a thing as too much so I don't give them any more than 24oz. It's okay to give water in between. My boys usually get 6-8oz of milk with meals and water in between.

As for the weaning/breastfeeding relationship: K2 abruptly gave up nursing cold turkey about a week ago so I feel your pain. For the last several months, he's nursed at bedtime only -- that is in addition to having 18-24oz of milk daily. Most likely, this is why he's a chunky baby. He's almost 19mo old so, on one hand, I was more than ready to stop. On the other hand, I knew I'd miss cuddling with him at bedtime. Nursing is a very intimate relationship. So, we haven't given up the cuddling. At bedtime, we climb into a rocking chair with a blanket. We cuddle, read, rock, and sing and it's wonderful. Also, as your daughter grows, you'll find other ways to bond with her. Even potty training has become bonding for K2 and I (staying home with him all day and watching for signs that he needs to go, cheering him on, reading to him when he's sitting on the potty). K1 is 3yo and we bond over lunch at Applebees or making crafts in Nature Class. You'll see, there is a next chapter and it will be wonderful.

[MrsK]

Also, take care about giving milk (either cow or breast) at bedtime or the middle of the night. Be sure to brush her teeth after or at least wipe her teeth/gums with a little gauze. You don't want her sleeping with milk in her mouth. It will cause her teeth to decay.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

My kids were all sleeping through the night at 11 months, so I'm no help there. Without going down another Ferber discussion road, I think that most infants should be able to learn how to sleep through the night at around 11 months. I would at least work to get her down to one feeding maximum. But that's me and God knows I have no freaking idea what I'm doing with these kids. I'm just winging it over here.

I've heard that. How would you define "sleep through the night"? I seem to find many places where 8 PM - 4 AM would be considering sleeping through the night. And others where it's not. I'm not going to let her cry it out but I will encourage her to do whatever is developmentally appropriate.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Also, take care about giving milk (either cow or breast) at bedtime or the middle of the night. Be sure to brush her teeth after or at least wipe her teeth/gums with a little gauze. You don't want her sleeping with milk in her mouth. It will cause her teeth to decay.

So is that real? Because I know lots of people who extended breastfed and did not do that...

[MrsK]

So is that real? Because I know lots of people who extended breastfed and did not do that...

That's what the pediatric dentist recommended. He even gave us some special wipes that are meant for cleaning his mouth (we didn't use them). First dental exam should be at 1yr or 6mos after the first tooth. My boys both went at 13mo. Our dentist was concerned about K2 continuing to nurse before bed. I found that brushing his teeth after nursing helped with the bedtime weaning too. It created a new ritual that interrupted the nursing-to-sleep habit and he began to associate brushing teeth and the taste of toothpaste with bedtime.

Really, I know what you are going through. But I've been really surprised at how at every stage I've thought, "This is The Best Stage. I never want this to end!" You really have to work at staying in the moment and soaking it all in. Before you know it, you are bonding over reading National Geographic Kids magazine or teaching them how to ride a trycicle and it's just as delicious as the previous stages.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

First dental exam should be at 1yr or 6mos after the first tooth.

OMG, that was like 3 weeks ago. I need a pediatric dentist I guess...

[GreyhoundsRUs]

It's not a huge deal - just get her in when you can! DD went at about 10 months because they had an opening. Literally, they will just look in her mouth and talk to you about basic dental hygiene stuff.