Freaking out about new daycare...

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Talk me down. I just dropped DD at the Friday nanny's house. Our regular nanny is starting back to school on Fridays. The new nanny is supposed to have her 3 kids (1, 2, and 4) along with D. I've met her older girls before and they seem calm, etc. I was a little nervous about her having 4 kids but I figured she's not an infant anymore so a childcare center would have the same ratio. Plus, the 4 year old will be at school in a few weeks. Well, when I arrived, there are two additional children then - I guess her T/Th mom had some emergency this week and the mom needed to bring her two kids (I would guess ages 3-4) today. Also, the kids were going WILD when I got there. Climbing up onto the TV in the playroom (big square TV on the ground) several feet in the air, etc. I really feel like 6 kids under 5 is way, way too much. And oh by the way there were dogs and birds freaking out too. I don't want to overreact but a) that's too many kids and I'm worried about your judgment taking them in and b) why are you letting them climb toys onto the TV???? I just feel like our regular nanny is SO amazing so my standards are really high. Am I overreacting?

I really need this like I need a hole in the head right now. Because of course I'm going to Boston M-Th of next week so I have no time to interview anyone else for the Friday job next week. OMG, this makes me so stabby.

[Pollyanna]

I think you have every right to be concerned, what you described is scary as hell. I know I'm not talking you down here, sorry. Can you call a nanny service for emergency fill in or a drop in center?

[scrub-jay]

Sorry, I'd be concerned too. A Childcare center may have the same ratio, but they have systems in place and more care providers available.

[v-girl]

Can you call a nanny service for emergency fill in or a drop in center?

This.

[niener]

6 kids under 5 for one babysitter? Spidey senses are totally tingling on that one. Even if they were 6 perfectly calm and well behaved kids that'd still seem like too much to me. I know emergencies happen and whatnot but she should not have agreed to take all those kids at the same time. This is SO not what you needed and I'm sorry

[MrsK]

I think you have every right to be concerned, what you described is scary as hell. I know I'm not talking you down here, sorry. Can you call a nanny service for emergency fill in or a drop in center?

Ditto. I'd start looking for other arrangements.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Is there another resident family who could watch D next week?

[WolfpackWife]

If you are where I think you are, institution-wise, have you looked into their Child Care Center? I don't know much about it, but as a former employee I do know that it exists for children of faculty and staff of both the health system and university.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

If you are where I think you are, institution-wise, have you looked into their Child Care Center? I don't know much about it, but as a former employee I do know that it exists for children of faculty and staff of both the health system and university.

They only do 2-3 days/week for PT. Otherwise, they prefer FT. FT isn't an option for us with my travel schedule, I need care too long each day, etc. I tried to get her into every daycare in the area and none of them do 1 day/week. Our M-Th nanny is amazing and comes early and stays late all the time; I'm not willing to do 2 days at a daycare and lose our nanny. She's literally worth her weight in gold. She dropped off a gift for Delia on her way to her classes this AM because she missed her already.

New nanny sent me a couple of cute pics of her so I think it's fine for today - I only just got back from a client meeting so she's only there another few hours. I honestly think she's just a super sweet girl who is probably not overwhelmed by the thought of tons of kids (she has a lot of previous daycare experience). That being said, it doesn't feel safe to me and I don't think it's a good permanent situation. And I am DEFINITELY not leaving my newborn there. ACK, I have no idea why I thought this would work.

I can piece together care between DH's aunt, emergency drop-ins at a local daycare center and the moms in our Bible study. I just really need to find someone permanent quickly. Gah!! I really wanted this to work out. I love the idea of her getting more interaction with other kids - she is the most social child - but this just doesn't work for me.

[diggitydot]

Not to freak you out or anything, but when a red flag sends your mom spidey senses off, seek other daycare. Period. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

[WolfpackWife]

T&S - thought I would put it out there, I wasn't sure how it worked but I was pretty sure you'd most likely looked into it. I'm glad the pics you got show her having a good time. I don't know exactly what you're looking for in childcare, but I've got tons of friends and family in the area with and without kids...I'd be happy to put feelers out to my parent-friends and see if they can make any referrals. No pressure, just an offer (hope that's not weird since we don't know each other - I just may be able to help since you're in my hometown!)

[moonlight]

Do you have the same drop in day care that I had out east of you? I loved that place, but I know they limit care to 4 hours per day. We don't have one of those here and I MISS that center!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Yeah 4 hours/day isn't going to cut it. I think I'm going to look for someone else in our home. Honestly, I'm spoiled with having someone come to our house and I can't imagine trekking her to someone else's house in December when I've just had the baby. I know I'm just going to keep her home with me anyway which is stupid to then pay someone if she doesn't go.

I think I'm just used to having so much control because she's usually a flight of stairs away.

Also, another thing that made me concerned, I had to offer all of our emergency contact info, etc. She never asked for it. I literally could have walked out the door and I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know our last name off the top of her head. Let alone how to contact one of us in case of emergency. I had it all printed out for her but she also didn't ask.

Plus, and this is total analness...with that many kids, how are you getting food prepped? Or sunscreen on all of them? Or keeping them safe on the swing set? Ugh, I'm so stupid. I don't know why I thought it was even ok to have her have 4 kids. Because you're right, in a daycare, even if you have 4 kids, someone can watch them while you pee. I'm assuming she's not taking all 6 kids to the bathroom with her...

She's very sweet so I feel badly but I think this is DD's first and last day.

[WolfpackWife]

I wouldn't feel bad, even if she is sweet. Everything you said was exactly right. Not being a parent, I wouldn't have thought of half of those things. My first thought was "if there is an emergency and she has to run someone to the ER to get stitches, how would she put 6 kids in a car?" assuming she doesn't have one of those economy vans!

[moonlight]

Please don't beat yourself up. I think just about everyone has done something like this. I know my mom could tell you the exact same story when I was little!

I once came home to looking nervous looking sitter that told me 'I think she might have pooped' (she was a baby) I paid her then she left. I went in and yeah.... she had a dirty diaper. It was only then I realized the girl didn't know how to change a diaper! I felt really stupid for hiring a sitter that didn't know how to change a diaper.

As long as she's safe today, she's probably having a blast with the dog and older kids. Long term, sounds like you need to move on. Hang in there! I hope you find someone really soon!!