Preschool

[civilspouse]

I was reading in one of the other threads about kindergarten being the new 1st and kids really need to be ready/have certain skills when they enter K. DS just turned 4 and we don't have him in preschool. When we moved for residency we decided that I'd stay home. We can make it on DH's income but things are a lot tighter than we are used to. I don't know if I feel like the expense it justifiable.

DH is worried about DS making friends/interacting with other kids. He is shy and reserved but he was in daycare when I worked and he loved his friends. He still talks about them and misses them. I am a big introvert and meeting people is not my strong suit. I went our entire seven years in Iowa without making any great connections. I was fine with that for the most part, but I do want DS to have friends. Since moving here we did T-ball and this week I really pushed myself to talk to another mom and ask her about getting together for a playdate. That was HUGE for me (the things we do for our kids . Preschool would just be an easier way for him to meet other kids and I wouldn't have to work so hard. I also kind of just want to enjoy my time at home with DS though and not have any kind of structure or schedule that we have to stick to before school actually starts. We did full time daycare up until a few months ago and I'm enjoying just going with the flow with the kids, not rushing out the door in the morning.

Is preschool really necessary? What do they really have to know before kindergarten that I couldn't teach him?

[SoonerTexan]

Fwiw I'm with you. We couldn't afford preschool easily on top of the childcare we have now and when I quit things will be lean. I plan on sending N the year before kindergarten, but only 2-3 days a week max. Mostly because I think she would enjoy it and it would be good social practice for "school rules" but I don't think she needs the educational portion.

We are going to to dance. Maybe something like that is a good alternative?

My youngest sister didn't go to preschool at all and breezed through kindergarten and the rest of elementary school socially and academically. I think preschool has a lot of value, especially to kids with certain needs, but I don't think it is always necessary for success

[lovelight]

Kindergarten is definitely more academically rigorous these days, but as long as he's a reasonably intelligent child (and I'm sure he is) then he will do just fine. Kids come in to kindergarten with a WIDE range of skills from knowing no letters and sounds to already knowing how to read. If he gets a good K teacher, she will know it is her job to ensure all of the children learn what they need to learn in order to succeed with blending/reading by the end of the year.

That being said, it will be really helpful for him to know how to independently toilet himself, buckle/unbuckle his jeans, tie his shoes (if his shoes have laces), etc. Having self-help skills prior to entering K is HUGE.

Writing his name and identifying letters is helpful. Already knowing the sounds is a huge bonus, because those children get to practice blending all year long as opposed to just the second half of the year (since the first half they would be just reviewing the sounds instead of learning them). Have I had many a child come in at base 0 and succeed though? Absolutely. Do what you think is best for your fam.


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[Ladybug]

Local library story times? The library can hook you up with all the free kids resources. Local museums usually kids free kids programs too with zoo/museum membership. Some bigger YMCA have inexpensive weekly part time preschool programs

[SuzySunshine]

The libraries near you are awesome, I'm picturing one in my head but can't remember exactly where it is...but they have story times, activities, etc. lots of things you could take him to to get him interaction, etc.


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[civilspouse]

Thanks for the replies. He knows his letters pretty well. I try to work with him on being independent (putting on clothes, shoes, opening food, etc) so hopefully we will be good there. We've got a membership to the zoo and the museum of science and industry and I've been looking into the activities through the local recreation center. We did T-ball and are signed up for swimming lessons. We go to the library almost every week. He loves books. SuzySunshine we have been going mostly to the library in the Garden Home Recreation Center because we've found a way we can walk their avoiding most busy roads, but I was talking to someone in the grocery store checkout and she said that Capitol Hill has really great story times and activities for kids. For some reason DS has never been a fan of story time, but I thought we'd check out some of their stuff next week.

Now that we've settled into the new house and all of our visitors have come and gone I am hoping to start working through a letter/reading program I found online. You guys are making me feel better about our decision to not do a preschool this year.

[MrsC]

I just joined our local MOM'S club. We met at the playground and it was a great experience. I'm very introverted too but they were super laid back and I think it will be fun. They have activities every week and it's a good way for kids who are very young or not in preschool to socialize. It might be worth seeing if there is a chapter in your area.

[Pollyanna]

Not necessary at all, there will be kids waaaay ahead in kinder and waaay behind. There will be parents bragging about the chapter books their child reads and parents freaking out because their child can't sit long enough to even open a book. Trust me when I say that it all evens out by second grade. Preschool is not necessary, you are giving him lots of experiences and chances to be independent. Enjoy your baby mama, you are doing fine.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

If you want something more structured, you could do a little program with him at home.

I've heard great things about ABCJesusLovesMe (Google it). It's $30 for the curriculum book or free if you're willing to print the materials.

We are using the 3 year with DD for some stuff (mostly bible stories, character education) because she keeps asking to go to school (our next door neighbor is 10 months older and goes to pre school 3 days/week). We cannot afford preschool plus a FT nanny so this is my compromise. We will drop it if it isn't working.

[spotty_dog]

I don't believe preschool academics are necessary, at ALL -- in fact I'm pretty opposed to introducing anything like colors/numbers/letters in a structured "schooly" way before 5-6, for my kids. However, with the way kindergarten is going these days, it does give kids a huge leg up to have the skills like working with adults who aren't a parent, getting along in groups of kids, sitting still, transitioning smoothly from one activity to another. Social/emotional skills, they call it. You can replicate this a little with other group activities, and of course a kid from a privileged background is not going to have ANY trouble in the long run adapting to school expectations. Still, I'm a fan of play-based preschool. If there's a cooperative program in your area or other low-cost option, just for a few hours a week, it might be very worth it.

[diggitydot]

I don't think preschools are necessary, in general, unless the kiddo has some sort of issue that needs some extra help before K begins.

The girls were both waaaaaaay ahead of their peers in K and neither attended any kind of preschool. DS was way behind his peers even with attending preschool. His language disorder necessitated more time to prep for school.

Up until 5th grade, he was right in the middle of his peers for ability, but was a very immature 5th grader. His work was all at grade-level, but he just wasn't mature enough to handle daily crap. We held him back and it's likely been the best thing we've ever done for him. He's going into 6th grade next week as a more mature, secure, independent, and prepared kiddo.

[Ladybug]

In a moment of complete honesty, preschool was always more about my needs than my kids. Depending on the kid and my employment status it's ranged from minimal to full time. As a school nurse I've noticed a small lag time in kids with no structured school experience when it comes to school rules, but they catch up quickly. Especially 5 yos.

[Thirteen]

In a moment of complete honesty, preschool was always more about my needs than my kids. Depending on the kid and my employment status it's ranged from minimal to full time. As a school nurse I've noticed a small lag time in kids with no structured school experience when it comes to school rules, but they catch up quickly. Especially 5 yos.

I'll admit to that as well. I'm not worried about DS being behind or socially inept, I just (honestly) need a little breathing room.
He's almost 3 1/2, has never been to daycare or MDO or anything like that.
He's a wonderful, bright child, and I love him, but I really need some breathing room.

The irony is, I have 19 days left until my EDD, and then I get back on the roller coaster.


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[MrsK]

However, with the way kindergarten is going these days, it does give kids a huge leg up to have the skills like working with adults who aren't a parent, getting along in groups of kids, sitting still, transitioning smoothly from one activity to another. Social/emotional skills, they call it...of course a kid from a privileged background is not going to have ANY trouble in the long run adapting to school expectations.

I disagree. K1 has had every privilege and still has trouble with these skills at 4.5yo. Preschool gives him an opportunity to work on those skills in a school environment.



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[spotty_dog]

I disagree. K1 has had every privilege and still has trouble with these skills at 4.5yo. Preschool gives him an opportunity to work on those skills in a school environment.

My daughter is 5.5 years old and entering kindergarten ahead of the curve academically, with two years of preschool under her belt, and these are still skills she's learning. They're skills they're SUPPOSED to be learning in kindergarten. But because of the way the school system is structured now, there is a chance the kids will feel "behind" if they don't have at least some experience ahead of time. Now, I am still fairly confident that a neurotypical child with educated parents who are willing to advocate and an English-speaking home life (these are the main privileges I mean) will adapt within a few years and level out with a child who had preschool. Even kids with specific concerns, they still have very pliable little brains in kindy, and school at 5 + intervention seems like it would have as much impact in the long run as preschool at 4 + school. It's all going to work out in the end. I don't blame you for doing what you can for K1 including preschool. I don't blame S-J for considering preschool optional for her kiddo. For me and my kids, I vote (minimal) preschool, but I don't think that's the One Right Answer. As you said in another thread, as long as it doesn't legally qualify as abuse, you have to do what seems right to you as a parent and trust to the outcome.