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Crying and Whining

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  • #1

    Crying and Whining

    All day, every day.
    A lot of it is Daddy-centric, which I really can't do much about, but I have had enough. Talking, charts, positive & negative reinforcement, ignoring, etc. are not working. He is stuck in a repetitive loop and can't/won't let go. (This is both at home and school).

    It's super annoying and I don't want to be around him anymore. Help!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
    Professional Relocation Specialist &
    "The Official IMSN Enabler"
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Can you give an example?

    Is he getting plenty of sleep?
    Alison

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    • #3
      . He's had a big change in his life. Can you do daddy-Bean dates, mama-Bean dates? Even if it's in your own house and he gets to watch a movie with one of you ALONE and gets your undivided attention.
      married to an anesthesia attending

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      • #4
        Originally posted by spotty_dog View Post
        Can you give an example?

        Is he getting plenty of sleep?
        "I'm worried about ------."
        (Daddy, mommy, yogurt, his toys, a song he likes, the weather, etc).
        Adult: "Why?"
        DS: *sobbing*

        If he's at school, he wants to go home.
        If he's at home, he wants to go to school.
        If he wants something, and is given it, he denies wanting it and says no. If you try to take it back, he cries because he wants it.

        He's had some set backs with sleep, but is outgrowing a nap (so we instead push quiet time in his room).


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
        Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
        Professional Relocation Specialist &
        "The Official IMSN Enabler"

        Comment

        • #5
          Right there with you... I am firm. I don't give in. I ask if they need breaks, which they take sometimes. I close my eyes and count to 10, but sometimes I yell. Doesn't seem to matter much either way. Nothing helps. Sadly, I think this is just what 3-4 looks like. Can you tell I'm not in a good place either? I'm sorry you're dealing with it with a newborn as well. Hugs from the trenches.
          Laurie
          My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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          • #6
            Last half of 3 is HARD!
            married to an anesthesia attending

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            • #7
              Does he have a place he can go to calm down with calming activities? So like a playhouse or tent inside with some type of quiet toy? Talk to him beforehand that when he gets upset, he will go to X spot until he calms down. I just have to walk away about 90% of the time.
              Jen
              Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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              • #8
                Originally posted by Thirteen View Post
                All day, every day.
                A lot of it is Daddy-centric, which I really can't do much about, but I have had enough. Talking, charts, positive & negative reinforcement, ignoring, etc. are not working. He is stuck in a repetitive loop and can't/won't let go. (This is both at home and school).

                It's super annoying and I don't want to be around him anymore. Help!


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                Hugs. Sounds like he's three and he's getting used to having a baby brother. K2 is whining and contrary too. He's also been taunting K1 an2 sneaky-mean to Lambie but he's got the middle child thing to deal with too. Frankly, he's been just so uncooperative and nasty that I can hardly stand it. And just when I'm about to lose it, he says "I love you, momma. I want to be friends. "

                Originally posted by ladymoreta View Post
                Right there with you... I am firm. I don't give in. I ask if they need breaks, which they take sometimes. I close my eyes and count to 10, but sometimes I yell. Doesn't seem to matter much either way. Nothing helps. Sadly, I think this is just what 3-4 looks like. Can you tell I'm not in a good place either? I'm sorry you're dealing with it with a newborn as well. Hugs from the trenches.
                This too. Both K Bros, ages 3 and 4, whining all the time. I tell them that I can't understand what they are saying when they use a whining voice. They need to use their big boy voices.
                Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                • #9
                  N had some similar stages in the early months after BabyJ was born. I bet it is baby related and it will pass
                  Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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                  • #10
                    Yes, 3.5 - 4.0 is a rough time, add in a new baby and other changes and it's even more difficult for little ones. Love on him, he is stressed (which I know makes you stressed, I get that). It's hard because the whining and crying can be almost too much to bare but I do find that when I calm myself and allow them their feelings it gets better. I'm not saying to give in, not that at all. Just understanding (and I know you do that too). Lots of, "I know, you want to be with daddy right now, mama gets it. He will be home around dinner time" Then a big hug and move into ignore mode. As the crying continues, you continue with the "I know sweet boy, I know" and then just keep on keepin' on. It's hard, you won't be patient all the time and you will be ready for a padded cell on some days but he won't continue doing this all the time. Sticker charts and the like indicate that this is within his control, and while some of it is, a lot of the behavior is not. It's developmental. Some children will just exhibit these behaviors more loudly and with great force. Fortunately, you have a strong child that is willing to let it all hang out. It will serve him well in the future (I promise), but for now, know that it will stop. If the sound really gets to you, try ear plugs (not to tune everything out, just to dampen the noise). Hang in there mama
                    Tara
                    Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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