Weaning a Toddler

[civilspouse]

DD is 18 months. I'm ready to wean. I only nurse her for sleeping now. At naptime and bedtime, then through the night. She still wakes up every couple of hours and I'm under no illusion that if we wean that will stop (DS continued to wake up through the night until he was three). Everything I've read seems to be geared towards just night weaning. They talk about nursing more during the day. I'd also re-read the section from the No Cry Sleep Solution that talks about this and have tried the method of stopping her from nursing before she is asleep so she falls asleep another without a boob in her mouth. She doesn't have a problem with that. When she wakes up during the night I usually try to let her cry for a minute (we cosleep) and see if she will settle and go back to sleep with out it. I haven't really been refusing her, just less likely to immediately nurse. She has picked up on it and wants to nurse more. She doesn't talk much yet, but asks to nurse by crying and pulling up on my shirt . She does seem to understand what she's told so I have been tried saying a few times while she's screaming that we'd nurse a little later or only nurse for a minute.

I don't really mind nursing and it is so easy to get her back to sleep, but there have been a couple times in the last few months where I've really wished I'd been done. She must have gone through some growth spurts or something but my nipples got really sore (sorry TMI) and then I had a small bout of mastitis. I'd also like to have my body to myself for a few months if we decide to have another one. I weaned DS right around a year and it was so easy I don't really remember it. We just nursed less often until finally we stopped. He took a pacifier at night though which DD never has. I have no other way to get her to sleep. If I try just rocking her or laying down with her without nursing she screams until she gets so worked up she can't calm down. Any BTDT ideas?

[Michele]

It has been a little while since I weaned, but I have a few suggestions. Since she seems to need the nursing to sleep, I'd try to cut out the muddle of the night sessions first. I was able to tell my 18m olds that they could wait until we were out of a store (I decreased my public nursing around that time.) So I would tell her she can nurse when the sun comes up. Then nurse her first thing in the morning. So nurse before bed, before nap and then first thing in the morning. As long as you are consistent about saying "when the sun comes up" (or whatever other cue works for you - maybe a light changing clock), and you follow through with nursing her at that time, she should accept it. It might takes a few days to a week. After you get down to the 3 nursing sessions, cut the nap one out. Then cut the bed time out. Start by saying "we will nurse before the big sleep", or bed time, or how ever you differentiate it, after bath. "Mommy will rock you now and snuggle you and then we can do milk before bed." It should be easier since she's heard it before with the night time. Then cut the bed time one in a similar way. Tell her she will get her milk first thing in the morning. Then when you are ready to give that sunshine nursing session up, just become busy in the mornings after waking up....play games, have breakfast. Many kids will wake up ready for the day and forget about nursing.

Of course your mileage may vary. I never substituted a bottle for a nursing session because at that age I believe the nursing was more about the connection than the food. But that's a possibility too.....you'll probably have to wean off a bottle then as well. (Or sippy cup, and it's probably worse on their teeth than breast milk.)

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

If she understands what you say, I know some moms who have had luck refusing by saying "[whatever you call milk/nursing] is asleep now. It wakes up when the sun comes up" and then refusing. This will get you to a single feeding at wake up and you can deal with that differently down the line vs the current sleep/nursing situation.

[MrsK]

If you don't mind, I would like to piggyback on this thread. I've had a related question. Lambie is turning a year in a couple weeks and I'd like to introduce a cup. She's completely confused as she's exclusively breast fed and had never taken a bottle. How do I do this?

[ladymoreta]

I'd just hand her one and let her figure it out, especially at meals when she can watch K1 and K2. (Give them similar ones.)

[MrsK]

I'd just hand her one and let her figure it out, especially at meals when she can watch K1 and K2. (Give them similar ones.)

Tried that. She pours the liquid out on the tray and refuses to put the spout in her mouth. Probably doesn't help that the boys use open cups and K2 is awful about pouring out his milk or putting his hands in his cup.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

MrsK - what about giving her an open cup with water (like a teeny amount)? She won't drown or make a super big mess, but may get the idea. H only used these (from the beginning): https://m.buybuybaby.com/m/product/s...q2dxoCF8rw_wcB

[ides]

The only thing that worked in the end for me - we had gotten down to only nursing for naps and bed and at night- was cold turkey. It was rough the first couple days and he mourned a bit but then we were done.

[v-girl]

I had to put K in a crib to end the night nursing. He didn't really push to keep going though. He was 20 months at that point.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Re: cup, I gave them cups with a teeny amount of water and helped them bring to mouth. The small amount of water made it less fun to dump. I took it away after getting it to mouth and having a sip.

[alotofyarn]

Have you tried one of these, MrsK? http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Mirac.../dp/B00MRZIGXY

About weaning, we're still doing bedtime and morning, but I nightweaned by just setting time limits and I refused to let her nurse until after a certain time. We had crying for a few days, but she eventually got over it. I'd just wear high neck tops to bed so she can't get to them herself.

[scrub-jay]

We used Tilty cups briefly and easily transitioned to open cups because the motion is the same. They aren't no-leak/no-spill though.

[OrionGrad]

Re: cups. Are you interested in sippy cups with straws? If so, this is what we did: I bought a couple tiny boxes of juice and squeezed the straw so the liquid would come up as soon as DS put it in his mouth. It literally took one or two tries before he figured out how to suck on the straw to keep the juice coming, and then we switched to Zoli cups with breastmilk with no problem. We skipped the bottle phase entirely.

[gem]

My oldest night-weaned around 2 years. We did it over a vacation with my parents where they got up with him in the middle of the night and offered crackers and water and tuck back in. DH probably could have done it too, but DS would not have taken "no" for an answer from me without a lot of protest. I'm trying to cut down on my 20 month old's nursing, but I'm not having much success. "We'll nurse when the sun comes up" just makes him mad enough to wake up the entire house, and I'm not committed enough to weaning to go through that.

[SoonerTexan]

Re sippy cups, my kids always did better with straw cups. We like the safe sippy 2 best.

Night weaning...for N I just started wearing a shirt, turning away, and popping in the binky. During the day I told her, "no we don't do that anymore" and gave her a drink of water. It was remarkably easy--binky weaning was way harder.

However, she wasn't very persistent and I suspect my son will be. So I'm guessing it is really personality dependent and I will be back here in a few months looking for advice. I want to wean him in late March or mid april