Baby bedtime

[MsSassyBaskets]

So we thought we were doing such a great job with getting DD to sleep at night because we have established some effective sleep cues - swaddling, lowering the lights, and white noise. When I do all three of these, especially with a feeding and a couple minutes of rocking, I can put her in the crib still awake, then turn off the lights, and she will go to sleep on her own. We're down to one middle of the night feeding and one around 5-6 am, so I'm finally getting enough sleep many nights.

Unfortunately I've realized that WE are also her sleep cues. She sleeps in the bedroom with us, and now won't go to sleep unless we're also going to bed at the same time. We're night owls and rarely go to bed before 11, so any attempts to get her to bed before then end in screaming and me giving up. Even if I sit there with her while she winds down in the crib, it's like she can tell I'm not planning on staying. She then sleeps in the swing or in our arms until our bedtime. We have a chronically overtired baby and DH and I don't get any baby free time in the evenings.

Help?

[SoonerTexan]

How old is she now?

[MsSassyBaskets]

9 weeks today

[MsSassyBaskets]

Just a note - obviously 9 weeks is way too young to CIO. I let her fuss quietly a bit, but as soon as it escalates into a cry I'm there. I don't know how I feel about CIO at a later age, but it's definitely not happening now. I love having her in our room within reach, and I'll nurse at night whenever she needs it at this point. This is not really about convenience for my schedule. I just want to help her add a couple hours of sleep to her night so she's not so tired that she sleeps all day or is chronically cranky.

[OrionGrad]

Posting on the fly, but really quickly, we were having the same issues. I waited until 6 months, then bought the Sleep Lady book after reading [MENTION=1889]SoonerTexan[/MENTION]'s thread.
We're only 4 days in, but it's already changed EVERYTHING. I'm a convert! DS2's bedtime went from 9 or 10 to 7, and his morning wake up is still a reasonable 7am. His naps have gone from 20. or 30 minutes each, to 1.5 or 2 hours.
I think she doesn't recommend the Shuffle until 6 months, but there are other tips in the book for younger babies.

[MsSassyBaskets]

Haha, well we might have just answered our own question. I think she has a pretty small window of opportunity when she goes from sleepy to overtired. DH noticed her eyes drooping when I was making dinner and went in and swaddled her and turned on the white noise, put her down in the crib and walked away. Fingers crossed, she's still asleep. He gets a giant eye roll from me for making it look so easy.

[MsSassyBaskets]

Ah well, it didn't last but I was able to rock her back down pretty easily, and she's not being the overtired maniac she usually is so it's a step in the right direction.

[ladymoreta]

It all sounds pretty perfect to me. Just keep watching for the sleepy signs, and you'll be just fine!

[SoonerTexan]

I remember my kids just not being very predictable in the first few months either. Random mood or sleep changes every so often. That would throw me for a loop and then go away as quickly as they came

[MsSassyBaskets]

Amazing night. After I rocked her back to sleep she slept until our bedtime. Hoping it's not a fluke because other nights have been such a mess, but we tried way earlier tonight so that may be the answer! We've been missing her window because it's our dinnertime.

[OrionGrad]

That's awesome! Sounds like you're on the right track. Fingers crossed time change doesn't through you (and us!) for a loop tonight.

[MsSassyBaskets]

Well the downside was that when she's not exhausted, she adds another night waking back in. So I didn't sleep as well. And in the morning she starts fussing and waking every hour starting around 5 am, which she did as a newborn. And now she's refusing to nap again today, where yesterday she napped half the day away. This baby insists on being overtired!

[MsSassyBaskets]

Last night was a screamy disaster. She slept alone in the room for maybe 20 minutes, then woke up and cried - even when held - off and on until we went to bed at 11. Then DH had to get up earlier this morning - new rotation - and we lost even more sleep. A and I slept in after that, but she's still a weepy, tired mess today.

[oceanchild]

I'm always hesitant to chime in on these things, what with my one kid's worth of experience, but honestly, I think its going to be a crapshoot for a few more months still. We got a "real" schedule at like 8 months. He'd been going to daycare for 4 months at that point.

Babies are weird. Sorry about the rough night and day!

[OrionGrad]

I'm the type of person who loves/needs a schedule, but I think [MENTION=1318]oceanchild[/MENTION] is right. It just takes time.
What we'd been doing until recently is trying out an earlier bedtime schedule for a few nights, and then when it didn't work out we'd decide to hold off and try again in a month or so. You can't force a schedule on a baby who isn't ready (much to my frustration), but it sounds like you're doing all the right stuff to set her up for success when the time is right. She'll get it eventually.