Sleep shuffle

[MsSassyBaskets]

It's not working. 5 nights and she still gets absolutely hysterical. She stands up and screams and screams. It's terrible. We haven't achieved any amount of adjustment, and when she gets hysterical and I pat her or pick her up, she just struggles and fights me and I can't comfort her at all. Every bedtime is taking an hour. She seems stimulated by my being there. She wakes 3+ times a night again. So in trying this"gentle" method I'm now doing CIO multiple times a night, which I never wanted to do at all. Now I'm exhausted and I'm crying it out too.

Grandma is taking care of her for 2 nights while I'm out of town next weekand dh is on night float, and I think we're all screwed.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk

[SoonerTexan]

I need to link my thread if I c an find it. I'm pretty sure I said the exact same thing. It took a lot of time and we didn't see any improvement for a few weeks. But it did come and it was way worth it in the end I promise. But if grandma is coming soon there is no harm in waiting and starting again.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MsSassyBaskets]

The thing is, there's no waiting and starting again. I tried giving the paci back in desperation at naptime. She kept screaming. I can't find any way to comfort her now.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

FWIW, we were never able to do anything to get them to sleep through the night until they were ready. I know that's tough to hear (mine were 13 and 12 mo before they slept) but in a way, I just sort of tried to not keep track and not let it make me so crazy. Parents of kids who did the Sleep Shuffle or CIO successfully probably think I'm nuts but it didn't work for us.

[MsSassyBaskets]

I don't even care if she fully sleeps through the night. Right now I would gladly take a low-drama bedtime and a calm night feeding. We used to have that but it was complicated with her tossing the pacifier to get me to come back all the time, so I took the pacifier away. Now I'm in hell.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk

[JDAZ11]

This scares the shit out of me!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SoonerTexan]

http://www.medicalspouse.com/forums/...p+lady+shuffle

Where we started: At 9-10 months we just lost it with bedtime and him being in our bed. DH was about where you were into intern year. We weren't getting a long well. Work was hard for both of us. We were exhausted and generally not in a good place. I sort of wanted to smack anyone who implied any sort of sleep training was going to help. I had started to try to put him to bed in the crib cold turkey without a lot of success

We were doing great for a few weeks and then it just tanked about 2 weeks ago when he got a cold.

I don't even know where to begin now. He keeps getting worse. He will never ever let me put him down in the crib now. Only next to DH in our bed when he is deeply asleep. He wants to pretty much be held the whole freakin night now where as before he was happy just sleeping with us. I even tried letting him scream yesterday and it was a disaster. There is no way that will work but I don't even know how to get him to stay in the crib at all.

To top it off, he climbed on me and pawed at me ALL NIGHT yesterday. Wasn't happy unless he was in my arms and even then. I can't stand it anymore. Overstimulated to the max. I know he is needy and I'm willing to let him sleep with us, but I can't handle this level of needy

About a month in:

So it's getting better! He's still up a lot at night and it's killing me sleep wise, but DH is going to help more now. But he goes back to sleep pretty easily in the middle of the night.

Tonight is the crowning joy, though...laid in the crib willingly!!!! He is pissed I moved across the room, but is going to sleep now. I have some new found free time in the evenings and it's great.

A month later: (he was about a year old) Note this is when I got knocked up hahahaha!

Good! I'm still getting up 2-3x a night with him, but now the first two wakings are just a sip of water and being tucked back in. He gets more feisty at the 5ish wakeup and sometimes I just take him to bed to nurse then. But we've had nights with only 2 wakings and it is much easier to get him back down. Bedtime is easier too. I haven't followed through with the whole slowly moving further and further away, but he is easy enough to get to sleep now that I just don't want to bother.

Naps are better too. He rocks to sleep relatively easy now and will lay down. He still wakes up a lot though.

So much better.

A month later--still some struggles:

Okay, we are still in a better place than when we started, but it is going downhill fast. He woke up FOUR TIMES last night within an hour period and just would not go back down. Then we just brought him to bed with us because it was 1 am and you know...work in the morning. I tried twice to put him back in the crib when he was dead asleep and he wasn't having it. Tonight looks like it is going to be similar. Naptime is downhill too.

Since we began this journey he has slept through the night ONCE. The wakeups that used to be a quick tuck back in are now 10-30 min ordeals. I'm over it. Maybe this is a stage? If so, it is a long one. I weaned him 2 weeks ago so he isn't waking up to nurse. No teething. Not sick.

There were a few blurbs in the book about babies with "certain personalities" (i.e. difficult children) that could present challenges, but "By George with enough perseverance you can do it." I'm ready to call the Sleep Lady's bluff on this--perhaps they just started hitting developmental milestones that most kids hit around 2 and sleep regardless of what you do?

At any rate, I'm still glad we did it because even getting him to sleep in his crib at all is a big deal. However, at this point, I'm too exhausted to follow the routine in the book. I'd be up half the freaking night. He's so STUBBORN. Maybe after 3-4 weeks of straight, hardcore battles with every wakeup it would work, but it just isn't worth it.

And it ends here when he was 13 mo nths:

There is hope! The monster has decided to sleep through the night most of last week!

[SoonerTexan]

So really, do what you need to, but I REALLY REALLY REALLY understand where you are right now and your resistance. I know all kids sleep differently and mine never slept through the night until 13/14 months regardless, but J has done so much better than N as far as bedtime. DH was laying (lying??) down with her each night til she fell asleep for hours until she turned 3--right around the time we started working on getting Baby J down I finally weaned her off that with sticker charts because I was over it. She still is more difficult to get to bed.

By 15 months both of us preferred to be the one putting BabyJ to sleep (we switch off each night). It was just easier. He had his routine and was pretty easy about it. There were times when he would have rough weeks and I would get frustrated, but it still was never as bad as it could have been. We've only recently gotten to the point where we can leave him in there awake, but staying in there for 10-15 minutes while he fell asleep was never painful enough to push it. I put him down for a nap today and we literally rocked for 5 minutes and I told him it was time to go in the crib and I would be back for him later and left. He was still wide awake and said "okay." NEVER would have happened with N. NEVER. There were rip roaring naptime fights until she gave up the nap. He still could be difficult about naps until recently, but mostly just for me because I'm a sucker. He went down easily for the nanny and DH.

So again, do what you need to. It took forever and it was painful, but in the long run it has been really awesome. I think I would be dying right now if my kids took hours for bedtime and I was about to bring a newborn into the mix (not that it wont shake things up). I'm not going to lie...I'm not looking forward to doing this all with Baby N again. It was HARD HARD HARD. But still worth it

[MsSassyBaskets]

So I gave up this afternoon. I gave her the paci before we even started the nap routine, I nursed her practically to sleep while she clutched a paci in each hand, and then I snuggled my calm, sleeping baby, trimmed her nails because for the first time all week she wasn't clawing at me with them, and then I went downstairs and ate Halloween candy. DH starts 10 days of night float tomorrow and I just don't have it in me. I'd rather give the paci back all night than have us all be that miserable. I thought I was ready to handle it, but it was worse than I expected.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Mine weren't able to do a calm alone bedtime until they were old enough to understand "I'm leaving but I'll check on you" (and then going back in literally every 10-15 seconds for several minutes so they never got a chance to get wound up) which was 13-14 months.

Hugs mama! Do whatever you need to do to get by.

[MrsC]

We tried sleep training around 10 months and it was a nightmare. At 12 months I tried the modified version, which involved letting him CIO and going in every few minutes to comfort him. He cried for 15 minutes max. I just don't think he was ready for it before 12 months.
We had a long rough period from 9 to 11 months where he was waking two or three times a night and I would just hold him til he was almost asleep. Teething was awful for him and still is. He needs the paci for sleeping and it's his only source of comfort during teething besides the occasional dose of tylenol. We'll get rid of it after these molars come.
Trust your instincts and you two will be fine.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[OrionGrad]

We did SLS when I was at the end of my rope. It look a LONG time, but I think that's because he was still sleeping in our room for the first few weeks. As soon as we moved him to the bedroom downstairs, it was only a few more weeks before things improved. The other BIG game changer was moving nursing way up in the bedtime route, before bath. I really didn't want to do it (not sure why) but the the situation improved rapidly after that.
I also found the Precious Little Sleep group on FB to be really supportive and helpful.

[SoonerTexan]

DH starts 10 days of night float tomorrow and I just don't have it in me.

Oh goodness, yeah, I wouldn't have it in me either. Once they hit some certain developmental milestones around a year it just gets so much easier. Get some sleep

[Thirteen]

So I gave up this afternoon. I gave her the paci before we even started the nap routine, I nursed her practically to sleep while she clutched a paci in each hand, and then I snuggled my calm, sleeping baby, trimmed her nails because for the first time all week she wasn't clawing at me with them, and then I went downstairs and ate Halloween candy. DH starts 10 days of night float tomorrow and I just don't have it in me. I'd rather give the paci back all night than have us all be that miserable. I thought I was ready to handle it, but it was worse than I expected.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk

Zero judgment here! You have to do what works for you, and if it's working, then give the pacifier.
(DS2 still has to nurse before being put down for a nap/bedtime to calm him down)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ladymoreta]

Another failed CIO-er here. It was so frustrating to hear about all my friends' good sleepers who did CIO for 10 minutes and had no more wake-ups, and their kids fell asleep in 5 minutes on their own. (Slight exaggeration, but that's how it seemed at the time...) I really felt like it was my fault. My kids didn't STTN until 18 months (DS) and 14 months (DD).

What worked for us to stop using the pacifier was holding DS to sleep without it. I'd sit in the chair and give him the paci, then hold him until he started dozing off. Then I'd pull it out of his mouth. He'd wake up and cry, and I'd put it back in. Doze again, and pull it out. Repeat until he finally just quit crying when I took it out. He'd fall asleep, and I'd lay him in the crib. It took about 1.5-2 weeks.