Toddler nap

[alotofyarn]

E is at the point where if she takes a nap (currently only at school, from about 12:30-2), getting her to bed is a nightmare, but if she doesn't take a nap, she's a nightmare before bedtime. Any tips?

[Howfunitis]

None here. We tell her she's going to bed as soon as we start bath time. "We are taking a bath, watch 1 episode and Mickey Mouse and going to bed" she repeats it back. And it's usually excuses
"But momma, I don't want to go to bed"
"But momma, I don't want to drink milk"
We go threw the whole routine. The waterworks are worse when hubby puts her to bed than when I do it. But because I think at this point she realizes I mean business. Hubby will let her manipulate him or drive him crazy in the process cause he always wants to console her or make her happy and I've tried to explain that he can't. She is just stalling. Until I told him he needs to see the whole situation as a bandaid. Rip it off. It will hurt for two min but it will be done instead of taking it off little by little and it just drags on.

So with all that being said. We stay on a schedule. When it comes time for actual bed after brushing teeth (we say goodnight before that so we are not going back and forth) we carry her to her room where she will ask for twinkle twinkle little star which we will sing. Put on her white noise, her stars and lay her in her crib and walk out.
She has two different cries but 9/10 times she is asleep within 5-6 min. She'll cry like a banshee the first 2 min and then she stops and next thing we know she's knocked out.
Before having the convo with hubby it use to take him at least 3hours for her to go to sleep. It takes me the usually time of 1.5. Start bath time at 7pm so that's she is in bed by 8:30pm

[Thirteen]

One of two possibilities: keep the nap shorter (45-1 hr), or start the nap earlier if possible.

We went through this with DS5 -- he was transitioning away from a nap altogether. Perhaps keeping her awake through nap time and trying an even-earlier bedtime? Finding the sweet spot is hard!


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I say "stay the course". C tried to drop nap at this age and we held strong. She got exhausted again as she grew through a growth spurt and starting school.

Agree you could shorten it. We probably need to do for D. She sometimes takes a while to fall asleep at both nap and bedtime.

[alotofyarn]

We stick to the bedtime routine. Bath, brush her teeth, jammies, book, rock a bye baby, hugs and kisses, then bed. The problem is that she's getting out of bed a hundred times. She wants another hug and kiss, or she needs to go potty. I tried putting her babies in timeout when she gets up, but that backfired when she started bringing me a baby when she got out. We had a gate on her door, but it was broken and a pain, so I took it off because she was doing well for a while. I think I need to get another one and put it back. Unfortunately, since she naps at school, I can't change the time or length of it at all.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I had to start threatening to close the door if she kept coming out. That kept her from coming out.

I've also heard of parents saying you get one time out bed. Use it for water, potty, etc but you get one or there's a consequence.

[alotofyarn]

I'm having the hardest time with the potty. She does usually go when she gets up and asks to go, and she refuses to pee in a diaper or pull up at this point.

[Howfunitis]

It's hard..... Mine still sleeps in the crib. I haven't converted it to a toddler bed and she screams because she doesn't want a diaper change. I've tried potty training and she just won't.

She can't even open doors yet but I'm sure she would give me a whole other set of problems. I'm sorry your going through this.

What does she do when's she out of the room?

[OrionGrad]

I say stay the course, too. IMO she's pretty young to drop napping altogether. We had problems with DS1 getting out of bed for a while (and still do, to a lesser extent) but we just try to be consistent in telling him he needs to get back in bed. Sometimes I use the two-way talk button on the baby monitor to tell him to get into bed too, and he actually listens to me better when I do that than when I come into his room myself.

[alotofyarn]

It's hard..... Mine still sleeps in the crib. I haven't converted it to a toddler bed and she screams because she doesn't want a diaper change. I've tried potty training and she just won't.

She can't even open doors yet but I'm sure she would give me a whole other set of problems. I'm sorry your going through this.

What does she do when's she out of the room?

She comes out and asks for a hug and a kiss, or if we tell her to get back in bed she wants to be put under the covers. Or she asks to go potty. If we ignore her, she'll just sort of wander around and ask questions about what we're doing.

[scrub-jay]

In my experience, sleep issues get worse for a week or two with developmental milestones on the horizon. I'd stick to it for now, strengthen your routine, get another gate if need be and see if it resolves.

[HouseofWool]

Can you push bedtime back even 15-30 minutes?

[ladymoreta]

I would start working with her on pottying by herself during the day and use pull ups at night. DS had trouble hand washing at first, so I told him he could skip it overnight, then we washed them in the morning. Besides pottying, make sure any other needs are ones she can meet herself. Either tell her no drinks, give her a sippy cup, or leave a cup in the bathroom.

After that, I would go into Super Nanny mode. (I'm sure there are videos on you tube or somewhere online.) The basics are 1) Firm bedtime routine, meeting all needs, ending with hugs, kisses, and reminding her of the expectations that she will stay in bed for the night. 2) The first time she gets up, you walk her back to bed, give her a kiss and say "good night" gently then leave. 3) The next time she comes out, walk her back to bed, firmly tell her "it's bedtime", then leave. 4) Every other time after that she gets up, don't engage or say anything. Just walk her to bed and leave.

I got frustrated after while sometimes, and I would add in a threat if they were particularly rambunctious. For example, like T&S suggested, I would close the door.

[alotofyarn]

Can you push bedtime back even 15-30 minutes?

We could, but then it starts to interfere with C's feeding, which is a problem when I'm home alone.

I would start working with her on pottying by herself during the day and use pull ups at night. DS had trouble hand washing at first, so I told him he could skip it overnight, then we washed them in the morning. Besides pottying, make sure any other needs are ones she can meet herself. Either tell her no drinks, give her a sippy cup, or leave a cup in the bathroom.

After that, I would go into Super Nanny mode. (I'm sure there are videos on you tube or somewhere online.) The basics are 1) Firm bedtime routine, meeting all needs, ending with hugs, kisses, and reminding her of the expectations that she will stay in bed for the night. 2) The first time she gets up, you walk her back to bed, give her a kiss and say "good night" gently then leave. 3) The next time she comes out, walk her back to bed, firmly tell her "it's bedtime", then leave. 4) Every other time after that she gets up, don't engage or say anything. Just walk her to bed and leave.

I got frustrated after while sometimes, and I would add in a threat if they were particularly rambunctious. For example, like T&S suggested, I would close the door.

She's totally capable of pottying by herself. I was doing the Super Nanny routine for a while, and she was actually really good for the most part, but I think she's probably testing boundaries again with the addition of potty training, so I need to go back to being firm on it. I just feel bad telling her she can't potty. It's been hard to get up and actually walk her back to bed too because a lot of the time I'm either feeding C or pumping at that point. So, basically I think we just need to put the gate back up.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Yup. And if she asks why, you can calmly tell her that it's because she's having trouble staying in bed (which is true) and you can remove once she learns to stay in bed. Until then, you have to keep her safe.

I told my girls that and it's true! I don't want them walking around tired because they could fall down the stairs. You need to stay in your room so I know you're safe.