Toddler Sleep Stuff

[scarlett09]

About 10 days ago, DD figured out how to hoist herself up, hover on the top rail of the crib, and drop herself off onto the side of freedom. That quickly won her a toddler bed.

Also, around this same time, separation anxiety has peaked. Lots of upset if one of us (usually DH) disappears, especially if she is tired and/or hungry. And a bit of repeating "daddy morning" when DH is not home at bedtime. She does spend a good deal of time with him during the week. I also suspect a more active imagination and nightmares are coming into play.

She will fall asleep if I'm in the room. I have been using the technique of slowly moving further away each night. At this point, I'm tucking her in and then sitting half in the doorway. Sometimes she wants to be comforted a little bit, for 2-3 minutes at a stretch, but immediately returns to her "big girl bed" after some snuggles.

However, somewhere between 1130 and 130 every night, she wakes up and won't let us leave the room. She even falls asleep on us or in bed, but wakes up and cries the second we leave. So DH has resorted to going in and sleeping on the floor next to her bed. DD will go back to sleep, but is still restless. She makes it until around 5am when she gets on the floor next to DH and sleeps for another hour.

All of this leads up to tonight's new development. Did the usual bedtime thing. She got up and came to me a few times. Then I thought she was getting up to come to me. Instead she curled up on the floor with some blankets and passed out in the spot where she would sleep if DH were in there with her. Of course, she is just past the edge of the camera's scope, so I can't see her.

Is the falling asleep on the floor normal? Anything we can do to make her sleep in the big girl bed? And to break the nighttime wake up routine? I would very much like for no one to be sleeping on the floor and everyone to be sleeping in a bed.

She was a good sleeper until about 2 weeks ago. I know it's a transition but I don't want to totally jack up the foundation of good sleep hygiene we've tried to establish.


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[alotofyarn]

E wakes up and comes in our bed. I haven't had the energy to enforce her staying in her own bed. I think it's normal though.

[OrionGrad]

Whenever my guys have gone through sleep regressions we've always tried to stick with the same routine (even when it didn't seem like it was "working" anymore), and things usually go back to normal in 2 or 3 weeks. But most of our issues have had to do with refusing naps or middle of the night wake ups, so not exactly the same thing...

[civilspouse]

I was just reading a sleeping book because I'm having a hard time with DD still getting up. I haven't figured out the answer but it did say it can take a month or so to see any real changes. I did the same thing, slowly moving out of the room with DS. After I made it out and he was consistently going to sleep on his own he stop the night wakings. I haven't been able to make it out of the room with DD yet though.


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[ladymoreta]

DD would build a "nest" in her floor with pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals for several months after switching to a toddler bed. If she woke up overnight, I would put her back in her bed; otherwise, I let her sleep anywhere in her room.

For the sleep training, I'd recommend going a step further and ending the bedtime routine with you walking out of the room and closing the door. This sets up your ideal scenario of bedtime routine ending when you leave her room. Talk to her about it at the beginning of your bedtime routine, and tell her you expect her to lay down and go to sleep after you tell her good night. Before you leave, you can tell her "Good night. Lie down and go to sleep. I'll come check on you in two minutes if you need me." If she's still crying after two minutes (set a timer), go back in, and give her a hug. Calm her briefly and tell her sweetly "It's bedtime. Good night. I'll check on you in five minutes." Leave the room. In five minutes (set a timer), tell her firmly "It's bedtime." Put her back in bed if necessary (or if she's settled on the floor, let her stay). After that, go in every 5-10 minutes and lay her back down, but don't say anything to her. Leave and close the door each time. (Look up Supernanny videos for examples.)

[Thirteen]

DD would build a "nest" in her floor with pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals for several months after switching to a toddler bed. If she woke up overnight, I would put her back in her bed; otherwise, I let her sleep anywhere in her room.

For the sleep training, I'd recommend going a step further and ending the bedtime routine with you walking out of the room and closing the door. This sets up your ideal scenario of bedtime routine ending when you leave her room. Talk to her about it at the beginning of your bedtime routine, and tell her you expect her to lay down and go to sleep after you tell her good night. Before you leave, you can tell her "Good night. Lie down and go to sleep. I'll come check on you in two minutes if you need me." If she's still crying after two minutes (set a timer), go back in, and give her a hug. Calm her briefly and tell her sweetly "It's bedtime. Good night. I'll check on you in five minutes." Leave the room. In five minutes (set a timer), tell her firmly "It's bedtime." Put her back in bed if necessary (or if she's settled on the floor, let her stay). After that, go in every 5-10 minutes and lay her back down, but don't say anything to her. Leave and close the door each time. (Look up Supernanny videos for examples.)

We did this with DS1, and found closing the door was (initially) making him panic: after we figured that out, we agreed to a partially closed door. He would eventually fall asleep and then we would shut it all the way. That took about 6 months, then once he realized we were always available if needed, he was fine with shutting the door at "Good night."


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[scarlett09]

I keep forgetting to update this!

So that night I posted was kind of the peak. There was one more night of floor sleeping next to her bed, but none really since then. We have shifted to allowing her to come in and sleep on the floor next to my side of the bed, if it's the middle of the night. I am also trying to shift away from that, too. Instead of making her a comfy "nest," I let her sleep with whatever she managed to drag across the hall. Usually just a blanket. Also trying to play up how uncomfortable the floor is, and how comfy her bed is.

I agree with 13 - I think some of the anxiety in the middle of night was separation related and closing the door again wasn't helping. If she wakes up in the middle of the night (now usually after 3am), we leave our doors open, so she knows she can come to us and sleep on the floor if she wants. Last night, she woke up at 330 but went back to sleep until after 5am. That's usually when we let her get in bed with us until between 6 and 7.

OG, we also have nap refusal issues. I'm hoping this trip may bring back the nap. But she naps in moving cars and at school, so who knows what the issue is there?

Around this same time, I've also noticed far better behavior at daycare drop and during her days there. She actually likes it, goes in willingly, and isn't so anxious to leave us. Maybe this explains why bedtime has gotten slightly better.


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