Transition to Crib

[alotofyarn]

I'm having a hard time getting C to sleep in a crib. I'm upset that we let it get this bad, but we were in survival mode after his surgery and when he kept getting sick. Before his surgery, he slept in our room in a pack n play. We always put him down for the night in it and he was able to fall asleep in there. Right now he's sleeping in a swing exclusively. He'll have to nap in a crib when he moves up to the next class in daycare, likely in January. Plus I just need him in a crib and eventually in his own room at home. On Monday he refused to sleep at all, so I put him the bouncy seat and bounced him to sleep, then put him in the crib afterward, and he did really well, sleeping until 5am. Tuesday I transferred him to the crib from the swing and he did OK. Yesterday I transferred and he didn't stay in their super long, but the transfer was fine. Tonight the transfer was a nightmare, and he's awake screaming, so hubby is making him a bottle and trying to get him back down. I don't know what to do. He's almost 10 months, and I feel like this really needs to happen. Letting him CIO isn't an option with his heart. I've got blankets under the PnP sheet to help make it feel a little more cozy, like the swing, and I've got a towel under the mattress to elevate it a bit. What else can I do?

[civilspouse]

Take this for what it's worth because we mostly coslept and my kids were never that great at sleeping in their cribs. At different points I think both kids were sleeping in a bouncy chair or cosleeping. When I wanted to transition them to the crib I started with naps. I know it's tough to make changes like that when they are in daycare but I just did it on the weekends. I could deal better with them not sleeping well during the day than at night. When that was going ok at night I'd nurse/rock to sleep and then lay them in their cribs. After that first wake up then I would bring them to bed with me. In theory they kept staying in their crib longer. I never had a magic kid that you could put in their crib when they were sleepy and have them fall asleep. Go easy on yourself. These changes take a long time and it's hard. I really liked the no cry sleep solution book.


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[ladymoreta]

Can you do something like the Sleep Lady Shuffle, that lets you intervene before he gets worked up to a full cry? Does he follow any commands? If he's starting to understand what you tell him, I'd make sure to (simply) narrate what you expect him to do (lay down and go to sleep).

[alotofyarn]

Take this for what it's worth because we mostly coslept and my kids were never that great at sleeping in their cribs. At different points I think both kids were sleeping in a bouncy chair or cosleeping. When I wanted to transition them to the crib I started with naps. I know it's tough to make changes like that when they are in daycare but I just did it on the weekends. I could deal better with them not sleeping well during the day than at night. When that was going ok at night I'd nurse/rock to sleep and then lay them in their cribs. After that first wake up then I would bring them to bed with me. In theory they kept staying in their crib longer. I never had a magic kid that you could put in their crib when they were sleepy and have them fall asleep. Go easy on yourself. These changes take a long time and it's hard. I really liked the no cry sleep solution book.


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I'd almost rather him cosleep, but he doesn't even really like to sleep on me. He doesn't nurse and doesn't like to cuddle much, and I can only rock him to sleep on rare occasions at this point.

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[alotofyarn]

Can you do something like the Sleep Lady Shuffle, that lets you intervene before he gets worked up to a full cry? Does he follow any commands? If he's starting to understand what you tell him, I'd make sure to (simply) narrate what you expect him to do (lay down and go to sleep).

He pretty much starts screaming as soon as I lay him down and he's full on almost immediately most of the time. Not much understanding yet.

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Does he absolutely have to be in a crib to move up? They won't make an exception given his medical history?

You have my sympathies. R still nurses to sleep, waking every 2-3 hours, and only transfers to bed about 50% of the time without flipping out. The other 50%, I have to lay on his bed with him and nurse him back to sleep post transfer.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Could you take the mattress out of the crib so you could lay with him and soothe him?

Also, just bc he won't sleep for you in a crib doesn't mean he won't at daycare. My children never slept in a crib but be few times they went to daycare, they did it just fine (at a strange daycare nonetheless bc we were traveling).

[civilspouse]

Could you take the mattress out of the crib so you could lay with him and soothe him?

Also, just bc he won't sleep for you in a crib doesn't mean he won't at daycare. My children never slept in a crib but be few times they went to daycare, they did it just fine (at a strange daycare nonetheless bc we were traveling).

Agreed. Even though my kids were never great crib sleepers at home they did ok with them at daycare.


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[alotofyarn]

Does he absolutely have to be in a crib to move up? They won't make an exception given his medical history?

You have my sympathies. R still nurses to sleep, waking every 2-3 hours, and only transfers to bed about 50% of the time without flipping out. The other 50%, I have to lay on his bed with him and nurse him back to sleep post transfer.

Could you take the mattress out of the crib so you could lay with him and soothe him?

Also, just bc he won't sleep for you in a crib doesn't mean he won't at daycare. My children never slept in a crib but be few times they went to daycare, they did it just fine (at a strange daycare nonetheless bc we were traveling).

They don't have any swings in that room, so there's no where else for him to sleep. I suppose they could put a swing in there from the other room, but I doubt they would. They try to keep the stuff limited in that room, since the babies are all crawling around. I do think it's possible he'll sleep better in there than he will at home - E did, anyway. She never napped in the infant room, but once she moved to the crawler room and all the kids were napping in their cribs at the same time, she did too. But she also always started in her crib at night, even if she didn't always stay there.

I could take the mattress out, but he's not a cuddler and wouldn't sleep next to me, I don't think. He's not even in his crib right now, just a pack n play in our room. Usually, when he's mad, he won't even calm down if I pick him up and try to rock him. He likes to be left alone in his swing, or sometimes held by hubby, or given a bottle.

We'll keep working - I know it's going to take time. I just get really frustrated by it all and then feel like a failure. I also need hubby to get on board with this, because he puts him down for bed 90% of the time, so he's been doing a lot of the putting him down in the swing first, and he doesn't really seem to think it's a problem.

[HouseofWool]

Can you put the crib in your room temporarily? I know it is a pain, but changing rooms and sleeping surfaces might be too many changes at once for him.

[alotofyarn]

We haven't attempted anything in his room yet. We're just using the pack n play in our room.

He did better last night. He napped in the swing from about 6-8, then I got him up for a bottle and put him down in the crib afterward. He fussed a tiny bit, but I ignored him and he went back to sleep. I also took out the towel that elevates it, because I think that was making it less comfortable. He woke up around 10:30, but I picked him up and calmed him down, then put him down, and he did the same mild fussing and fell back asleep. He slept until about 4, when he started fussing again, but I left him and hoped he'd fall back asleep. He might have, but hubby got a call or a page or something and answered it in the room, and then got up and took a shower, so by then there was no way he was going to go back to sleep, so I gave him a bottle and put him back in the swing after that. Overall, I think it went well. Hopefully we can keep it up.

[alotofyarn]

Got him down tonight with no pre-swing nap! Hubby fed him, tried to put him down, gave up as soon as he started crying, and put him in the swing. So I went in and took over. I had to go in twice to calm him down, but eventually he got to where he just fussed a little bit again instead of full on screaming and then fell asleep.

[JDAZ11]

Transition to Crib

Wait. Never mind. I hadn't read posts.

[JDAZ11]

Got him down tonight with no pre-swing nap! Hubby fed him, tried to put him down, gave up as soon as he started crying, and put him in the swing. So I went in and took over. I had to go in twice to calm him down, but eventually he got to where he just fussed a little bit again instead of full on screaming and then fell asleep.

That's awesome! I think he is a few months too old for that pre-sleeping nap (although I know all babies are different). I think for sure, just feed him and put him down to sleep for the night at the earlier time, and don't bother trying to wake him to feed unless he still has a weight issue and they are telling you that you have to.

Since he's been in the pack n play, you aren't dealing with anything too crazy - like a rock n play transition. He sleeps flat. He should be fine after three or four good nights of no pre-sleep swinging.


But, if it makes you feel any better... which I'm sure it doesn't. My nephew (who does sleep fine in a crib at home) apparently doesn't sleep in a crib at all at day care. He randomly catches a little nap in a stroller or a seat of some sort, and then naps for 30min on ride home. My sister was horrified at first, but it's all fine now. He still sleeps at night and naps for her on weekends.

I also think if hubby is being that disruptive, either you two (you and baby) should sleep in a different room, or hubby needs to sleep in a different room. Mine seemed to be lighter sleepers starting around 10mo. (But still, pagers and phone calls would never have been ok with them). I think I'm almost the only person I know that lets their husband sleep in their room while on call (busy call anyway). I'd never let him sleep near a baby on call. And I would KILL him if he sat in bed and talked on the phone. He would be dead. Seriously. You are so nice for allowing that. And I feel he is kind of crazy for taking a call in bed with the baby in the room. If he can't wake up to a vibrating pager, and quickly exit without a sound, he probably shouldn't sleep in your room on call nights.

Sorry.... I think maybe someone needs to sleep in the guest room for a little until he is ok in his own bed. And I think it really only takes 3 or 4 smooth nights, and then of course there is going to be a bumpy little road every time he gets sick since he has so much going on. But the poor kid (and you) don't need pagers and phone calls on top of all of this. Am I crazy?




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[alotofyarn]

That's awesome! I think he is a few months too old for that pre-sleeping nap (although I know all babies are different). I think for sure, just feed him and put him down to sleep for the night at the earlier time, and don't bother trying to wake him to feed unless he still has a weight issue and they are telling you that you have to.

Since he's been in the pack n play, you aren't dealing with anything too crazy - like a rock n play transition. He sleeps flat. He should be fine after three or four good nights of no pre-sleep swinging.


But, if it makes you feel any better... which I'm sure it doesn't. My nephew (who does sleep fine in a crib at home) apparently doesn't sleep in a crib at all at day care. He randomly catches a little nap in a stroller or a seat of some sort, and then naps for 30min on ride home. My sister was horrified at first, but it's all fine now. He still sleeps at night and naps for her on weekends.

I also think if hubby is being that disruptive, either you two (you and baby) should sleep in a different room, or hubby needs to sleep in a different room. Mine seemed to be lighter sleepers starting around 10mo. (But still, pagers and phone calls would never have been ok with them). I think I'm almost the only person I know that lets their husband sleep in their room while on call (busy call anyway). I'd never let him sleep near a baby on call. And I would KILL him if he sat in bed and talked on the phone. He would be dead. Seriously. You are so nice for allowing that. And I feel he is kind of crazy for taking a call in bed with the baby in the room. If he can't wake up to a vibrating pager, and quickly exit without a sound, he probably shouldn't sleep in your room on call nights.

Sorry.... I think maybe someone needs to sleep in the guest room for a little until he is ok in his own bed. And I think it really only takes 3 or 4 smooth nights, and then of course there is going to be a bumpy little road every time he gets sick since he has so much going on. But the poor kid (and you) don't need pagers and phone calls on top of all of this. Am I crazy?




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C gets tired more than a normal baby because of his heart defect, so some days he needs the extra nap - really it's just putting him down early. He does need that bottle still though, because weight and fluid are both concerns. He's not underweight, but we need to keep him gaining, especially because the two times he got sick recently his weight dropped a good bit. We're doing 5 5oz bottles right now, and when I tried to drop to 4 6oz bottles, he wasn't finishing them, so we switched back. Until he gets better at eating solid foods too and still gaining weight, I need to keep the bottles. So, we could do it earlier, but with getting E ready for bed too, it usually seems easier to just let him nap, then do his bottle (and meds) and put him down for good.

I'm going to make a new rule about no returning phone calls in bed. It doesn't bother me much, and E was out of our room before he started taking home call, so it hasn't been much of an issue until now. The pager doesn't seem to bother him (he's spent enough time in the hospital that random alarms all night don't wake him up, plus we have a noise machine), but the conversations do.

To be fair - hubby has been doing like 90% of the night time wakes as long as he's home, so I don't want to complain too much. The advantage of not nursing is that it doesn't have to always be me. I always took care of E when she woke up (and still do), so in a way I guess we're even, though I still feel bad about it usually.

Tonight hubby put him down in the swing for some reason, so I went right in and moved him to the crib, and he fell right back asleep. I think he's getting used to it.