Is 2yo preschool worth it?

[MrsC]

So I was thinking I would add a music class (there is kindermusic and another one), plus doing the little gym, at least during the hot months (it was too physical for me when I did it last summer, but only because they weren't walking yet and thy made me crawl around. Hopefully that's over...).

I may just turn in applications for two or three and see what happens. I may be late for the less expensive ones.

It's annoying that I did all of this when they were two months old and then we moved. I've already wasted like $500 on pre-school applications.


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Ugh, that's a nice chunk of change.
It's crazy how quickly everything fills up! Speaking of which, I have to send in C's registration for next year.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Play based messy preschool is what we do. We do Montessori at home (I.e. I have created a semi prepared environment for them for practical life) but only non academic at that age.

I like being able to send them away for the mess. Especially D. So messy. And you'd be shocked how much energy it uses up! I realized over spring break how much more energy D has when she doesn't go.

C went at 3y 7mo, D went at 2y, 9 months. Little man is going at 17 months. I need a break to homeschool C.


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[JDAZ11]

Well, I'm pretty far from mainstream with my parenting so I don't think you want to ask me.

But let me put it this way. My daughter's little classmate will be 8 next month. He has a little brother who's 4 and triplet sibs who are turning 2. The dad works as a cable technician four days a week and the mom works as a bookkeeper two days a week (they switch off primary child care duties and both are home Sunday; they're church-goers.) The babies barely even go in the back yard because it's so hard to supervise all of them at once. The preschooler goes to part-time preschool at the local day care. (Yes, THE local day care, LOL.) Finger paint? Museums?

These kids are going to be fine. They have a parade of family helping them out, they have an enriched environment at home with toys and laundry and whatnot to mess around with, they go out on one-on-one outings with various people when it's practical, they go to church once a week. They're fine. In many ways I think they're in a better and more psychologically appropriate setting than some more affluent kiddos.

I'm firmly and aggressively against teaching letters and colors and shapes to toddlers, LOL. Again, not the one to ask. (Did I tell the story of how we had to drill my 5-almost-6 in his alphabet the week before kindergarten? My kiddo who's now reading avidly at a 12th grade level in 4th grade?) Since my goal for preschool is social-emotional growth, that's the kind of readiness I look for: firm attachment to family members but willingness to branch out and trust other caregivers, starting to move from parallel play to interactive play with their peers, etc.

There's not really a wrong answer here, because you're a loving parent and you have their best interest at heart. It's all good.

Ok well that does make me feel better. I may not do it. I'll try to fill out applications tonight and see if I can even get both of them into the same school this late (there are so many twins in our area - I'm sure it isn't going to be easy).

In my defense - - and maybe this wasn't right, but I have no idea. I really haven't read much about how to deal with them since we got all "scheduled," which was so critical for me. I couldn't deal with a less rigid style of parenting. It's just my personality and the fact that we're two (I know lots of people think schedules are bad... my mil likes to talk about non-stop!). -- the letters and colors and numbers have just kind of happened. They point at things and I tell them what thy are. J was talking pretty clearly very young, so he started pointing out letters (only like 3 of them) that he recognized from his favorite subway book, and then that spiraled from there. I didn't really know if his brother knew them, but he has been taking quite a bit the last few months and will run up to a sign at the park and point at an "a" and then say "a"... if he points to a letter he doesn't know, I tell him what it is. But I'm not like doing flash cards with them or anything super tiger mom and nutty. They hardly sit still - so it wouldn't work if I tried!


We do read a lot though - so I guess that's where they learned the colors. And they are also just in that phase where they point at everything and name it or look at me if they want me to tell them what it is. I also let them watch this baby babble video series while traveling and they weirdly started speaking pretty clearly after watching it a few times - they may have learned colors from that... I don't know.

Anyway, thanks for all of your opinions. I feel like I probably should send them now. I also wish you could just see how it goes - but they all make you sign a waiver saying that you understand you're committing for the entire year (10 months) and will be charged the tuition regardless of whether you change your mind. I don't know why I'm so annoyed by that.

The other annoying thing is that I can't really get rid of the nanny - at least it doesn't seem like it right now. I get hurt trying to dress the boys and get them in the car really frequently still. So I'll need her to come at 8 - help me get them to school and then be stuck paying her to be at my house (she'll clean and prepare food, but still...) while they are gone. Just seems like such a crappy set up. But they are way too strong for me - particularly the huge one. And I also need her after school and on the off days. So I don't want to cut her hours and have her quit either. So yeah. It just seems excessive, but maybe best for them.


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[spotty_dog]

See? You didn't need preschool to expose them to the names of abstract things like letters, and the names of abstract things like shapes will probably come eventually too. Keep reading with your babies, that's a WONDERFUL thing to do when you can make the time! Share the world with them -- at this age they're primed to learn from YOU and other immediate caregivers. Go for it! Teach them about breezes on their face at the park, the way fresh food looks at the farmer's market, let them see the social script around ordering at a restaurant, it's all good. They've been only twenty-four months on this planet, there are BAZILLIONS of things to learn, and yes some of it's the "academic" stuff, but the academic stuff is the absolute last thing you need to actively worry about and remedy at this stage -- especially since they are in such a privileged environment and not deprived of the opportunity to learn. (And by privilege I don't just mean financial, I mean just the simple things like educated parents who talk to them and buy books, etc.)

Now, with the socioeconomic range at our preschool, I worked with kids who really did need that preschool experience because they didn't have such an engaged home environment. And those kids' 4yo pre-school year, with its gentle introduction to fine motor skills and pre-reading skills like rhyming and letter recognition, did help them to close the gap with more-privileged kids before they headed into the school system. But even with them, I don't think going outside the home for academics at age two would have helped -- it might have hurt, if it spoiled their attitude about 'school' things.

Committing for the whole year blows. Can you go for a site visit and see how you can imagine your guys in that environment?

Good luck! Raising kids, man. I wish there were one right answer but there never is, except maybe to trust your instincts as a momma. You've got this!

[JDAZ11]

I'm going to visit a few. I'll see. I did find one that doesn't have a full year commitment waiver - they make you pay May and some other end of year fee upfront, and mention not getting it back if you move. So not sure whether you can also just quit.

I still think it's probably a waste of time, and I don't want to deal with the sickness, but I'll submit a few application and see where it goes I guess.

The only independent art class for kids this young that I could find is at one of those pottery places. But I'm going to keep looking and see if I can find anything else that will fill that void without a full year commitment.


Another thing is potty training... I'm not sure how i deal with potty training if I'm sending them to school before we've done it.


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[JDAZ11]

Good luck! Raising kids, man. I wish there were one right answer but there never is, except maybe to trust your instincts as a momma. You've got this!

I know!!! This really isn't easy!!!


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Most schools do not expect potty trained 2yo and will work with parents through the year to teach this skill.

D was one of only 2 potty trained when school started (and she was 2 years, 9 months). Her class was older twos and 9 of 11 weren't trained at the start and I think almost all are trained now.


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[alotofyarn]

I've never heard of 2yo classes requiring potty training either, just 3yo classes. E's teachers were great with her when she was training. Even now, she's one of only a couple, maybe, who aren't in pull-ups.

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[JDAZ11]

No. sorry, no potty training required. I just meant if they are going to school, how do I stay consistent with things like potty training. Only one school (the most expensive non-Montessori) makes a point of saying they will work with your individual potty training goals. But the student teacher ratio seems high at most to be able to accommodate things like potty training (maybe it's easier than I'm imagining). All the 3s programs require it, but the twos don't.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Oh school will be totally helpful. It will normalize kids using the potty (they will see some peers do it) and they will be way more interested.


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[JDAZ11]

Oh school will be totally helpful. It will normalize kids using the potty (they will see some peers do it) and they will be way more interested.


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Ahh. Ok. Interesting.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

They pee in packs at that age. Seriously the teachers often take the kids in groups. Not to expose the kids or anything weird but just because it's not a big deal and they just pick up on the fact that their peers are doing it. They hear other kids say "I need to use the potty" or hear a teacher ask a buddy if they want to use the potty. It's a really positive environmental atmosphere around potty use (obviously assuming that the teachers are good, etc). Our teachers haven't ever seemed interested in pushing kids at all. Just helping kids who are ready.


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[alotofyarn]

Yes, E's class potties in groups - they do keep the girls and boys separate though. There's a kid-sized toilet in each classroom, so they can go whenever they need.