Me again - potty training

[JDAZ11]

So one of my kids has been so obsessed with "potties" for months. Loves telling me before he goes potty. And then goes to point at it. I've just been lazy I guess. I had ordered a little seat that went on top of the potty and a stool - that didn't reach high enough. He was not excited by that. Neither was. It was funny. But the potty obsession continued for him.

Then I finally got around to buying a little potty. He used it like three seconds in to the first opportunity. (Just peed. It was right before bath time). After his bath he freaked out when I went to put his diaper on. "No!! Potty!!" I guess he thinks he used the potty so doesn't need a diaper? (We have some stupid Elmo book about the potty, but other than that, not sure where he is getting all this potty stuff from - I don't know why he thinks he can be done with a diaper because he used the potty). Anyway....

So what does this mean? Nothing? Time to get the whole potty training thing going? Where do I go from here? I figured I'd be dealing with this around 3yo (and I'm sure I will be since his brother ran shaking his head yelling no when asked if he also wanted to use the potty). But man, I am not read for this!!!! Book suggestions? Help?!?!?


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[SoonerTexan]

Give it a try for a few days and see how it goes. I just finished potty training #2. Here's my 2 cents:

--Pull ups didn't seem to help much here. My kids would just think of them as diapers. We still use them in the early days for outings and overnight, of course.

--The first day I would ply them with juice and sit them on the training potty with the kindle until something happened. It took hours at first. Then they wore real underwear from then on (unless we had to go somewhere). Expect a lot of accidents. The accidents helped them "get it," though. The first couple days are really frustrating, but once they connect the urge to the outcome, they seem to have an "Aha!" moment

--Sticker charts and potty treats helped my kids stay motivated. Once they "got it" I stopped the potty treats (gummy bear per bathroom trips) and phased out the sticker chart. Our sticker charts were a printout of the toy they were earning with a table at the top. They earned a sticker for each bathroom trip in the beginning. Later it becomes each dry day.

--I tried to use a child seat on the big potty with my first. Big mistake. Neither of us could tell when she had gone. The training potty solved that problem. I also hate the training potty and phased it out as soon as I could, though!

--Both my kids didn't train until they turned 3. I tried unsuccessfully with both multiple times before that age. With #3, I'm not even going to try until his third birthday unless he shows serious initiative. So if it flames out, just scuttle it and try again later. Diapers are kind of easier when they are under 3 anyway.

--I have my son sit and "point his weenie down." He can learn to spray later, thank you very much!

Good luck! I hate potty training so much!

Twins complicates things though--no advice there. @peggyfromwastate?

Fun note from today: The recently trained one came to the bathroom with me at church. He didn't have to go, but I did. He narrated the whole experience for the woman waiting. "Whoa mommy, so much pee!" "Wow mommy! You have a big butt!"

[Howfunitis]

I bought a Minnie potty that flushes and had it a whole 6 month the too early. M was potty trained by 2.5 and it started with just pee. She's only go #2 in her diaper at night. I did what ST suggested. Started with treats for everyone she went and actually did something. She was afraid of the big potty so I ended up being gifted another one and it worked amazing. (Unlike Minnie from Walmart was too small) but when we went to the big potty she wanted nothing to do with the small seats. My struggle was going #2 until one day it clicked for her and I made a huge deal each time. She now asks me if I'm happy and to "look down" so I still do a happy dance lol.
Her biggest thing regardless of who was helping her was privacy

"Momma, can I have some privacy please"




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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Yes to much of what the others have said:

1. Yes to potty treats. Choose something LOW value/small because they will get a lot. One for pee, two for poop
2. Yes get rid of that potty chair ASAP. I cannot stand cleaning poop out of fake potties
3. Yes to juice when you're trying. Also, plan to cart a potty around in your car while they're training. Otherwise they'll ALWAYS have to go at a park with no potty. And past a certain point, they won't be ok with peeing in their diapers anymore so that creates a huge problem of a crying kid and no potty and refusing to pee in the diaper, etc.
4. Do not worry about night training, ever. C is still (at 5!) in a night pull-up. When she's dry for a week (hasn't made it yet), we'll try it. It's just not a big enough deal that I'll wake her for it.
5. Set a phone alarm, when it beeps we sit on the potty. That way they don't get mad about being reminded
6. When they inevitably start to tinkle on the floor, get them to the potty quickly (we literally keep in within a few feet at first) so they can have success and not get upset by the mess.

C trained at 22 months, D at just over 2 before R was born. No idea how I will train the boy but like Marissa said...we will not be doing the stand up thing for a while.
Like others have said, give it 3-4 days and if not seeing improvement, drop it. And it shouldn't ever be a huge battle, yes you remind them but it's NOT something to fight over. Here we fight over sunscreen and hats, that's a mountain I'm willing to die on...not the potty for a 2yo.

[JDAZ11]

Thanks for the advice!

Oh - I am for sure not pushing this hard. I think it's easier with two dealing with diapers. I've been dreading the whole potty training thing. (And figured for sure we would be freaking out about not going to school next year because we were still in diapers).


So do I switch him to pull-ups during the day if he keeps asking to use the potty? I don't know if I'm ready for real underwear 😱 I guess I could try for like a day. But I just can't even imagine.

I also don't even know if they understand the concept of rewards.... they sure don't seem to get punishment. Time outs have been pretty pointless this far.







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[alotofyarn]

We got E a potty when she was about 18 months, because she liked talking about it. We let her sit on it whenever she wanted, but it was at least another year before she was able to actually make herself pee, and I waited until after that point to train (2.5, maybe? It was last summer). We did use pull-ups some during the potty ready phase, because we'd be out and she wanted to sit on the potty, and it was a huge pain to have to take a diaper off and then put it back on after she tried to go. Ultimately, pull-ups gave her bad rashes, even if she stayed totally dry, so we didn't use them often, and once we felt like she was really ready, we went straight to panties. She had maybe a couple of accidents, and then she just figured it out. Poop took a little bit longer, but that wasn't bad either. We waited a little bit longer to night train, but once she got daytime down, she started waking up dry, so we switched to panties at bedtime pretty soon after too and only had a couple of accidents with that.

We still have the little potties out (2, one in each bathroom), but at some point I convinced her poop goes in the big potty, so she only pees in them. I keep a thing of Clorox wipes to clean it out. I usually dump and rinse after each pee, and then clean it once with the wipes at the end of the day. With the poop, I dumped, rinsed with water and dumped, wiped with toilet paper and flushed all that, then wiped out with the Clorox wipe and put that in the trash. It's super gross. We need to get rid of them soon, because C is into everything, but she's so whiny with the big potty sometimes and getting up there, that we haven't forced it yet.

Oh, and we did skittles for rewards - 1 for pee, 2 for poop (and occasionally an Oreo thin for poop, because that was a big deal for her at first). And eventually the skittles ran out, and she mostly forgot about them.

[OrionGrad]

I felt like such a rockstar when DS1 potty trained so easily, but now that DS2 is showing so much resistance I realize it's way more kid-dependent than anything else. DS2 CAN go on the potty, he just refuses to try right now. (Like, if he agrees to sit on the potty he'll go pee or poop almost immediately.) I'm perfectly fine with waiting, except he has to be potty trained by the time he starts preschool in August, and he'll be just turning 3 that same month. I've tried to drop the topic for now, and we'll try again in early summer once the baby is here.

[JDAZ11]

Good point on the rashes. Actually- we are still in pampers swaddles because EVERYTHING gave them rashes. I'll skip for now.

He like doesn't really get the whole thing. He talks about pee pee and poopoo all the time and tells me when he is going. But last night when he peed in the little potty he proudly stuck his hand in and yelled "Agua!" So I don't know if he like even understood what happened.

Plus - his brother is like all in his face while he is sitting there. I think I need a second one so he can sit if he wants or whatever.

I bought little liner bags - which is fine for now since I think the times it's actually used will be few and far between. And I did buy the little one that flushes- but it is really really little. Fine for this kid, but his brother is pretty big for his age.

Ahhhh. I kind of dream of going on vacation and having someone else do this. Sleep training was so much cleaner. Lol.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Your nanny should be helping with this too. It was a joint effort between the nanny and me. If the nanny isn't on board, it ain't happening.

[JDAZ11]

I haven't even talked to her about it. Somehow I'm not so sure she will handle it well. She totally f's with my sleep rules and gives them WAY WAY too many packages snacks. She probably isn't the best possible co-parent. I just can't deal with finding a new one right now.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

You need a good nanny. It's life giving. Seriously.


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[JDAZ11]

She is decent. I think there is a little bit of a cultural divide (and the fact that she had her kids at 17...). But she is so so good with my kids when they are sick, which I appreciate, because I am not at all. And my house is so so clean. And I'm kind of hesitant to give that up.

Plus, I'm sort of in and out all day. I don't know if I'll find someone willing to deal with that. (Although in much less frequently because I feel awkward). Yeah. Maybe I do need a new one. I'm not going to look until fall though. DH is having a major surgery at the end of May, and then I hope to leave for a month or so. I'll deal with again it after that....


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[SoonerTexan]

Ahhhh. I kind of dream of going on vacation and having someone else do this. Sleep training was so much cleaner. Lol.

Our preschool doesn't have a potty training entry requirement and it is AWESOME. They just told me to keep them informed as to what was going on, so when we started at home, they started it there and it helped a ton!

[JDAZ11]

Our preschool doesn't have a potty training entry requirement and it is AWESOME. They just told me to keep them informed as to what was going on, so when we started at home, they started it there and it helped a ton!

That's awesome. I don't like the pressure.

Tonight he sat in the potty for a bit before bath. Said "agua!"But nothing. Then got in the bath and peed. I'm probably going to let it go unless he really pushes me again. He is 19 months old. I have no desire to force this on him... and his brother has zero interest, so it's not like it would free me diapers anyway.

I'll check back again in a few months, or if something changes.

Thanks for the advice!!!


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[alotofyarn]

I think that's a good plan!

I remember E's teacher started talking to me about potty training so long before she was ready, and I was just like uh, no. I had friends who tried around that age too, and I felt like they were trained, but not the kids. Like if you have to take your kid to the potty 5 times at dinner, not because the kid said they had to go, but because you asked if they had to go and they said yes, that's not potty trained. Neither is letting them sit on the potty for half an hour every morning while they watch cartoons waiting for them to poop. Diapers are so much easier, for the most part.