Potty Training

[MrsK]

Can you just keep it up. Not in a threatening way that big girls who want to go to school use the potty. Reinforce. Every day. All the times.

Will S and J help? Talking about school. Talking about how much fun it is now that they can go and want to go.

I think this would work over the course of a few weeks if not mentioned while you're trying to make her go. Just as a casual aside. "Oh look, there's your school that you can go to when you potty..." "When you go to your school, you'll get a lunchbox but first you have to potty" "[insert older girls name] gets to go to school because she potties"

I know I'm evil. But you KNOW she can do it...


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Yeah. I'm not sure that subtly is her style but it can't hurt. During dinner, she sang us a song she made up about using the toilet, how big girls go potty, preschoolers go potty, her best friend goes potty..... Everything is a musical act; she's going to be a theatre kid. I'm tempted to just put her in big girl panties, send her to school, and see what happens. I suppose they'll kick her out if she has accidents every day though.

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I bet they won't. And she might surprise you and go for them. Just ask them to remind her. Even potty trained kids need reminders when something is going on or they're in a new place. I have to imagine that they'll remind them and also go en masse at certain specified times.

Also...worst case is that she goes and gets "kicked out" and it'll demonstrate to her that really...you have to use the potty to go to school.


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[civilspouse]

My approach is that they aren't going to do it until they want to. It seems like the more you fight it the more they resist. That's tough though when you have a deadline. When my kids seemed ready I gave them a chart where they had to go 7 days or something with trying to go and then they got the agreed upon toy if they did it. DS did it quickly. DD took longer. If they had an accident they still got a sticker as long as they tried. Sounds like you've tried charts though. Maybe just drop it for the summer. I'm sure if she's ready when she is at preschool surrounded by the other kids she'll do fine. At DDs preschool when one kid said they had to go they would dim the lights to get their attention and ask if anyone else needed to go. DD almost always went because it was an exciting trip with friends. DS was in daycare at that age and they took group trips to the bathroom at certain times. At this age they can mature at lot in a couple months.


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[MrsK]

She's really like 0% trained these days. She's had 2 accidents in the last 15 minutes, both immediately after sitting on the potty.

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[scrub-jay]

Sounds like you're battling willpower. In my experience, when DS took that route, he trained only after I literally gave up. I had to give up on the idea of preschool on the timeframe I'd planned. Then *voila* he trained himself and was able to start ps on schedule. Like [MENTION=1521]civilspouse[/MENTION], my kids only trained when *they* were ready, regardless of any plans *I* had or made for them.

[MrsK]

Sounds like you're battling willpower. In my experience, when DS took that route, he trained only after I literally gave up. I had to give up on the idea of preschool on the timeframe I'd planned. Then *voila* he trained himself and was able to start ps on schedule. Like [MENTION=1521]civilspouse[/MENTION], my kids only trained when *they* were ready, regardless of any plans *I* had or made for them.

So, do I put her back in pull ups? Or do I let her pee all over my house?

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Potty Training

I wouldn't go backwards. I would just keep her on whatever floor is easiest to clean. Even if that frustrates her...you can't have an accident on the rug so you can't play on the rug.

If she were super young or delayed, it would be different but you KNOW she can do it.

But like I said, I'm mean mommy...


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[Thirteen]

I wouldn't go backwards. I would just keep her on whatever floor is easiest to clean. Even if that frustrates her...you can't have an accident on the rug so you can't play on the rug.

If she were super young or delayed, it would be different but you KNOW she can do it.

But like I said, I'm mean mommy...


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Making them clean it up and participate sure does put the accountability into it. 😂 (Flashbacks)


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[MrsK]

Making them clean it up and participate sure does put the accountability into it. 😂 (Flashbacks)


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OMG. I tried that with K2 once. He smeared feces on the walls and flushed a whole box of wipes down the toilet. I'm still traumatised.

Just occurred to me that if I searched this board, I probably started a similar thread about K2 when he was Lambie's age. I thought girls were supposed to toilet earlier than boys. She really wants to do everything the boys do. Never thought I'd, I have a daughter who thinks farts are funny.

Sometimes I wonder if I really did get 3 difficult kids or I'm just not as good at this parenting thing as I thought I'd be.

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[scrub-jay]

Potty Training

So, do I put her back in pull ups? Or do I let her pee all over my house?

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I'd go back to diapers. Remove the battle. Once DS realized I wasn't playing this game, he was VERY motivated on his own. Prior to that, he got focused attention from me (getting out of wet clothes, being cleaned up, and enforcing he clean up any mess) so there was an incentive to have so-called accidents. He quickly earned his undies back and rarely had another accident after I discontinued the game. YMMV.

[MrsC]

I'm inclined to agree on putting her back in pull ups. C went through something similar and after a couple of days in pull ups he was motivated enough. He hated feeling like a baby and was embarrassed by wearing a diaper even though we didn't make a big deal out of it.
He's almost 4 and it's still a battle to get him to go before we leave the house. He just doesn't want to because he's being asked

[JaneDoe]

I'm in the midst of potty training hell too. DS is 3.75 years old. He is doing exactly what you describe about your dd; i.e., he will use the potty when reminded, rarely poops in the potty and generally won't go on his own accord. He can do it, he just won't. He is my fourth child and you would think I'm a pro at this by now, but nope. I can just throw my hands in the air in frustration and then wait for him to decide he wants to do it. Argh. I recall my older two boys were finally toilet trained just shy of four years old. My dd was out of diapers right on her third birthday. I guess my kids are late bloomers. Sorry, I have no advice, just commiseration.

[MrsK]

I'm in the midst of potty training hell too. DS is 3.75 years old. He is doing exactly what you describe about your dd; i.e., he will use the potty when reminded, rarely poops in the potty and generally won't go on his own accord. He can do it, he just won't. He is my fourth child and you would think I'm a pro at this by now, but nope. I can just throw my hands in the air in frustration and then wait for him to decide he wants to do it. Argh. I recall my older two boys were finally toilet trained just shy of four years old. My dd was out of diapers right on her third birthday. I guess my kids are late bloomers. Sorry, I have no advice, just commiseration.

The pediatrician once told me that you can't control what goes in or what comes out. Can't force them to eat or potty no matter how hard you try.

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[alotofyarn]

I feel like I'd probably go back to pull-ups too, and at the same time talk about being a baby vs. a big girl. No panties, no preschool, no whatever else the boys are doing that only big kids can do. SJ makes a good point about the attention that cleaning up requires too.

Also - E also thinks farts are hilarious, and her favorite books are the ones we have about poop ("Everyone Poops" and "What is Poop?"). So, you're not alone in that part.

[civilspouse]

I would also go back to diapers. Seems like it's become a power struggle. DD was harder to train and if I wanted her to go she would resist. I tried to just ignore it and make it no big deal and she eventually got it. It took her longer than DS who is quick to please but she made it there, just on what she thought were her own terms.


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