Sleep

[rufflesanddots]

Possibly a stupid question, but my almost 6 week old doesn't sleep anywhere close to 18 hours. We've been tracking and over the last 9 days G has averaged 13 hrs/day, ranging from 12-15ish. I keep finding mixed info on sleep recommendations, but mostly see 14-18 recommended.

How big of a problem is it if he's missing the recommended average? We're working on sleep environment. It's a bit tricky (one bedroom ground level apartment with a dog), but I'm obviously committed to prioritizing his sleep. Currently pacing in the back of our apartment while wearing G in an Ergo with the lights off and a white noise app going on my phone.

Am I just being a new mom? Help.



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[Thirteen]

You sound like a new mom, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I always tell people that the first 8 weeks is brutal. When you make it to able 4 months, you feel much more confident and able to tackle nursing issues, developmental milestone interferences with sleep, sleep regression, etc.
You are still in survival mode — your small human is too small to sleep train. Can you get someone to come be with the baby for a bit in the house, so you can sleep?


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[civilspouse]

I wouldn’t stress over it. I always just followed the baby’s lead. Some of my kids slept more than others. My older two would sleep anywhere and through anything and my youngest needs a quiet space to nap. I never tracked the amount of sleep they got. If the baby doesn’t seem overly fussy or you aren’t noticing other issues I wouldn’t worry about it.


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[MrsC]

Neither of my kids slept more than 12-13 hours as newborns. I think they both took about three 20 minute naps during the day. It was awful, I couldn't get anything done so I feel your pain! But, they were happy and just very alert and active babies. Our pediatricians were never concerned about it. They eventually started napping more once they were mobile.

This awesome lactation consultant/baby whisperer I know who is now retired said two things that stuck with me. 1) Baby boys are perfectly content to lazily nurse and snuggle with Mama all day. 2) For the first 8 weeks their little digestive systems are just getting up and running. After that they usually settle a little.

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[OrionGrad]

None of mine napped like they were “supposed to” for a long time. In those early days most naps were taken on me and if I was super lucky, the swing. I wouldn’t worry about what the books say as long as baby is generally happy. You’re doing a great job already. 😀

[rufflesanddots]

Thanks y'all. [MENTION=1139]MrsC[/MENTION], I had to laugh at #1. Just finished up another lazy nursing session. #2 also seems appropriate--gas and poops seem to stress him out. Seems like it's starting to get better, but he definitely gets riled up before finally passing gas or pooping, and then chills out.

I'll try to calm down a bit and Google less. I feel ok on sleep, I was more worried about G getting what he needs. As for me, DH takes him for a couple hours around 9ish, right after a nursing session. Then he gives a pumped bottle. So, if timing works out I get 2+ hours at least. Last night I got 5 in a row before it was my shift again 🎉 and then another 2 an hour or so later 🎉. That schedule will change some starting next week depending on DHs schedule, but fingers crossed at least a few nights a week I can catch some solid Z's. I'll call in some extra hands if needed. ♥️

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[rufflesanddots]

None of mine napped like they were “supposed to” for a long time. In those early days most naps were taken on me and if I was super lucky, the swing. I wouldn’t worry about what the books say as long as baby is generally happy. You’re doing a great job already. 😀

😭

Thank you.

I told DH today I'm just worried about messing him up somehow. DH told me I'm doing great, but it's hard not to worry. I just wanna do right by my kiddo.

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Asshole sleepers here too.

FWIW, American moms prioritize the sleep environment way more than moms elsewhere. I know...it optimized for hell out of it and my 3 darling sleep terrorists still didn’t sleep. But my SIL’s new baby in Mexico sleeps great and their house is constantly noisy.


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[MrsC]

Thanks y'all. [MENTION=1139]MrsC[/MENTION], I had to laugh at #1. Just finished up another lazy nursing session. #2 also seems appropriate--gas and poops seem to stress him out. Seems like it's starting to get better, but he definitely gets riled up before finally passing gas or pooping, and then chills out.

I'll try to calm down a bit and Google less. I feel ok on sleep, I was more worried about G getting what he needs. As for me, DH takes him for a couple hours around 9ish, right after a nursing session. Then he gives a pumped bottle. So, if timing works out I get 2+ hours at least. Last night I got 5 in a row before it was my shift again 🎉 and then another 2 an hour or so later 🎉. That schedule will change some starting next week depending on DHs schedule, but fingers crossed at least a few nights a week I can catch some solid Z's. I'll call in some extra hands if needed. ♥️

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Haha. It was so predictable. She led a nursing support group and most of the baby boys did the same thing; nurse for 2 minutes, fall asleep on the boob, wake up when unlatched and start over. The baby girls just got the job done and took a nap.
R was the worst for this but got better by 12 weeks or so.

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[gcuthbe1]

Currently pacing in the back of our apartment while wearing G in an Ergo with the lights off and a white noise app going on my phone.

THIS IS STILL ME AT 15 MONTHS
bahahaha
I have never stopped worrying about his sleep nor his milk/ food intake. We gave up doing the baby tracker app around 6 weeks bc I would forget to start/ stop the timer and bc it was stressing me out more than anything. Kid would stay up like 6pm to midnight. Around that time Dh set up the swing in the living room (also 1 br ground floor apt with cat and dog) and it changed our lives until about 5 months old
Edit: if your dog has ever been crate trained use that now. if not, use some baby gates to block him in a smaller area away from sleep zone. I also take my dog's collar off bc of the jingle it makes.

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[gcuthbe1]

Haha. It was so predictable. She led a nursing support group and most of the baby boys did the same thing; nurse for 2 minutes, fall asleep on the boob, wake up when unlatched and start over. The baby girls just got the job done and took a nap.
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NO WAY! yep my boy was not ok staying asleep for anything/ any type of change. ooohh I so so hope this holds true for my gestating lil gal. I could use a good/ easier sleeper!!!

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[rufflesanddots]

THIS IS STILL ME AT 15 MONTHS
bahahaha
I have never stopped worrying about his sleep nor his milk/ food intake. We gave up doing the baby tracker app around 6 weeks bc I would forget to start/ stop the timer and bc it was stressing me out more than anything. Kid would stay up like 6pm to midnight. Around that time Dh set up the swing in the living room (also 1 br ground floor apt with cat and dog) and it changed our lives until about 5 months old
Edit: if your dog has ever been crate trained use that now. if not, use some baby gates to block him in a smaller area away from sleep zone. I also take my dog's collar off bc of the jingle it makes.

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Omg duh on the crate / baby gate. I may end up doing the gate so she can have run of the back of the apartment.

We have a swing but the internet was telling me more then 15 min/day was bad so I got all nervous. Are these recommendations ever written by real life parents?! How long did y'all put him in there--enough to fall/stay asleep, hour or more?

Sending you good sleep/nurse vibes for soon to be DD!

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[Thirteen]

Omg duh on the crate / baby gate. I may end up doing the gate so she can have run of the back of the apartment.

We have a swing but the internet was telling me more then 15 min/day was bad so I got all nervous. Are these recommendations ever written by real life parents?! How long did y'all put him in there--enough to fall/stay asleep, hour or more?

Sending you good sleep/nurse vibes for soon to be DD!

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Step away from google. 😂 Eating/peeing/pooping? Developmental milestones being met? Everything is kosher. ❤️


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

NO WAY! yep my boy was not ok staying asleep for anything/ any type of change. ooohh I so so hope this holds true for my gestating lil gal. I could use a good/ easier sleeper!!!

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I regret to inform you that my eldest child was also an extreme sleep terrorist and is female.

I don’t put much stock in babies being a certain way by gender.

Also...my best sleeper is by far my hardest child. So...you win some, you lose some.


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[civilspouse]

Omg duh on the crate / baby gate. I may end up doing the gate so she can have run of the back of the apartment.

We have a swing but the internet was telling me more then 15 min/day was bad so I got all nervous. Are these recommendations ever written by real life parents?! How long did y'all put him in there--enough to fall/stay asleep, hour or more?

Sending you good sleep/nurse vibes for soon to be DD!

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My older two liked to nap in the swing. I think they’d be in there for a hour maybe two. I know it’s not recommended either but with DS we even moved the swing into our bedroom and he slept good chunks of the night there.


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