Daycare prep

[rufflesanddots]

Ok. G starts daycare in almost 3 weeks. Ack.

Walk me through this. I'm guessing each place is different, but is there any general wisdom I can benefit from? I'm pumping and building a small milk stash. He'll be just over 3 mos when he starts. He'll go for two days, we'll take a trip to see family, and then he'll be in full time (maybe not quite full time until I'm working...). What should be on my radar?

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[MsSassyBaskets]

Is he taking bottles well? Have you estimated how much he needs per bottle, how many bottles per day? Do you know if your daycare wants the bottles prepped, or if they will thaw milk and prep a bottle? Do you have a good bottle cooler to bring? Those are the main things I remember having to figure out at that age... Most daycares will keep the youngest babies on a loose schedule with a couple naptimes and bottle times throughout the day, and it can be helpful in getting a routine more established. But if you have specific needs or requests for nap times, bottle times, etc., you'll need to be more instructive with them. I found it was easiest to let them set the schedule and not be too demanding, but it really just depends on each individual kid's needs. Ask what kind of information you're going to get every day (usually a sheet saying when they ate, how much, times and types of diaper changes, any concerns, etc.) and let them know if there's additional information you want to get.

Most other things will just arise later on, and you'll troubleshoot them as they come. If you look back 3 years, you would probably find posts from me about how much milk I should bring, how to keep my supply up while pumping, when to finally throw in the towel because pumping is the freaking worst, how and when to transition from purees and cereals to other foods, what to do when kiddo picks up every bug at daycare and is constantly sick, etc. You'll work your way through it.

[MrsK]

Most other things will just arise later on, and you'll troubleshoot them as they come. If you look back 3 years, you would probably find posts from me about how much milk I should bring, how to keep my supply up while pumping, when to finally throw in the towel because pumping is the freaking worst, how and when to transition from purees and cereals to other foods, what to do when kiddo picks up every bug at daycare and is constantly sick, etc. You'll work your way through it.

All of this. I had such anxiety about sending K1. And I was never able to pump enough. I’ll never forget how the the iMSN group persuaded to me to finally send formula.....and that same day there was a similac recall for bug parts. I was freaking out and then someone asked me, “do you know how many bugs little boys ingest deliberately?” With K2, I didn’t even bother with the pump. I just sent formula and nursed at home. My supply adjusted and he nursed until he was 18mo.



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[SoonerTexan]

My kids didn't do this until there were a little older than yours (Maybe @vgirl remembers the age for N), but all three of them went through periods where they would just refuse a bottle. Like, maybe drink 2-3 oz at most over the course of the day. I was freaking out with my first because "omg clearly she was starving and how could I leave her like this and let her starve!" Nope, the little stinkers just decided they preferred nursing with mommy and would go to town eating all night. It would usually last a week and all three of them did it at some point.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Count me in to the bottle strike group. All 3 of mine did it too. It’s nerve wracking but they definitely will take the milk within a day or two.

YMMV but mine were in care 9-5:30 or 6. In that time, I pumped 3 times and got 5-7 oz each time (less as they got older). So I was pumping 15-20 ounces a day so that’s what I left her each day.

Also, I generally used my stash by using what I pumped the next day but using a frozen bag on Mondays so I didn’t build up a stash and not use it. You could do the same with one feeding a day. My rationale is that I preferred for them to have more fresh milk filled with current antibodies for whatever was in our environment rather than getting milk from 5 weeks ago or whatever.

But I always had the exact amount of milk needed. I know lots of moms who could pump twice a day and get what they needed. My kids needed every drop I gave them and sometimes more (like they didn’t sleep thru the night until 12 months because of how much they needed to nurse at night).


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[MrsK]

Count me in to the bottle strike group. All 3 of mine did it too. It’s nerve wracking but they definitely will take the milk within a day or two.

YMMV but mine were in care 9-5:30 or 6. In that time, I pumped 3 times and got 5-7 oz each time (less as they got older). So I was pumping 15-20 ounces a day so that’s what I left her each day.

Also, I generally used my stash by using what I pumped the next day but using a frozen bag on Mondays so I didn’t build up a stash and not use it. You could do the same with one feeding a day. My rationale is that I preferred for them to have more fresh milk filled with current antibodies for whatever was in our environment rather than getting milk from 5 weeks ago or whatever.

But I always had the exact amount of milk needed. I know lots of moms who could pump twice a day and get what they needed. My kids needed every drop I gave them and sometimes more (like they didn’t sleep thru the night until 12 months because of how much they needed to nurse at night).


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Man, I pumped 3x daily and would net about 2-4oz for the day. Clearly, pumping wasn't for me.

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[SoonerTexan]

But I always had the exact amount of milk needed. I know lots of moms who could pump twice a day and get what they needed. My kids needed every drop I gave them and sometimes more (like they didn’t sleep thru the night until 12 months because of how much they needed to nurse at night).

Yeah same here. Also, I wasn't able to freeze my milk and build a stash. I tried and it would smell gross when we defrosted it and the baby wouldn't drink it. So I gave up on that early on. Occasionally I would pump in the evening if I didn't have enough for the next day for whatever reason. We had this Medela container we kept in the fridge that was shaped like a U. I'd put the freshly pumped milk in the back and take from the front to pack the next day.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Yeah same here. Also, I wasn't able to freeze my milk and build a stash. I tried and it would smell gross when we defrosted it and the baby wouldn't drink it. So I gave up on that early on. Occasionally I would pump in the evening if I didn't have enough for the next day for whatever reason. We had this Medela container we kept in the fridge that was shaped like a U. I'd put the freshly pumped milk in the back and take from the front to pack the next day.

You must have had milk with high lipase. You have to scald the milk to get rid of the soapy taste. Our nanny had that, it sucked. And I always gave her any extra milk I had. That was another reason she didn't go back to social working and instead nannied so she could bring her baby...she couldn't have pumped and stored her milk. It's definitely possible to still pump if you have that issue but it's harder.
[MENTION=1498]MrsK[/MENTION], yeah I only had that much because I was lucky to work from home. Pumping sessions were often 45 minutes with lots of hitting the "extra let down" button on my pump. I was basically topless all day. There was NO way I could have done it if I was fitting in 10-15 minute sessions at an office. But then there's women like my boss who easily pumped 10-15 extra ounces a DAY. She stopped pumping at 10 months and her daughter still got milk through 12 months.

[rufflesanddots]

Thanks y'all!

MSB, I haven't clarified how they want the bottles. His teacher is coming for a home visit in a couple weeks, so I'll ask her. He takes bottles well (or at least did when DH was here handling a night feeding). I'll have DH try this weekend just to make sure he still does. Should I do a bottle feed now and then before starting, just so it stays familiar?

I'm not totally sure how much he gets at each feeding, but at least when DH did bottles it was 4-5 ounces. The daycare director did say most babies Gs age are sent with four, 4 ounce bottles. Maybe I'll start there and adjust?

T&S, I gave him down as 730 - 530 for now. I don't see the point in using all the time if I'm not working, but needed to block out 10 hours assuming a commute in the future. Fortunately I haven't had any issues with him taking frozen milk. We've done it a couple times if I didn't have enough in the fridge.

I have 95 ounces frozen right now. I'd say half is from catching letdown. Gs started sleeping longer (PTL) so I've started pumping after the first night feeding so I'm not so uncomfortable. I usually get 4-5 oz in 20 min. I don't pump during the day.

I'm going to miss him a lot. I assumed I'd be chomping at the bit to get back to work, but it hasn't been that way. I know ultimately I'll love having him in daycare. I believe it will augment my parenting in a really helpful way. It's just hard to imagine not being around him all the time. :/

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[MrsK]

[MENTION=1498]MrsK[/MENTION], yeah I only had that much because I was lucky to work from home. Pumping sessions were often 45 minutes with lots of hitting the "extra let down" button on my pump. I was basically topless all day. There was NO way I could have done it if I was fitting in 10-15 minute sessions at an office. But then there's women like my boss who easily pumped 10-15 extra ounces a DAY. She stopped pumping at 10 months and her daughter still got milk through 12 months.

I *was* working from home and I used to pump all day long. But I was just so lonesome for my baby, sitting home while he was gone at day care. It made me so miserable.

[MsSassyBaskets]

I'm going to miss him a lot. I assumed I'd be chomping at the bit to get back to work, but it hasn't been that way. I know ultimately I'll love having him in daycare. I believe it will augment my parenting in a really helpful way. It's just hard to imagine not being around him all the time. :/

I'm not gonna lie, it's really hard. Daycare is wonderful. Today I love it, and I'm so happy she's at a preschool where I know she's learning and gaining great social skills. But I didn't love it until she was at least a year. I mourned the time I didn't get with her. If I hadn't been supporting us, I would have taken a year off. But that's not how life was for us, unfortunately. It'll hurt, and it'll be ok.

[rufflesanddots]

Ugh

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm not gonna lie, it's really hard. Daycare is wonderful. Today I love it, and I'm so happy she's at a preschool where I know she's learning and gaining great social skills. But I didn't love it until she was at least a year. I mourned the time I didn't get with her. If I hadn't been supporting us, I would have taken a year off. But that's not how life was for us, unfortunately. It'll hurt, and it'll be ok.

This is extremely accurate. Especially for a first baby. Although I will say that babies can’t do as much as you can do with older kids. So although I desperately would have loved to take a full year off with each one, I’m also really happy going PT at this stage because we can do so much!


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[rufflesanddots]

Stayed up too late reading articles on daycare and attachment. Sigh.

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[Thirteen]

Stayed up too late reading articles on daycare and attachment. Sigh.

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It’s going to be okay, I promise.
Also, no more “emotional cutting” about this — step away from Google. ❤️


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