Hypothetical .....

[Phoebe]

For the parents of upper elementary kids and teachers how would you react to a situation like this...

A very intelligent 10 year old boy with extreme ADHD and a recently diagnosed mood disorder is struggling in his 5th grade class. The services laid out by the IEP are not being provided properly. The teacher has a laissez-faire attitude about her class and is more interested in bringing her boyfriend and her dogs into class than actually instructing the students. The teacher does not follow the math curriculum as strictly as the other teachers because she says it isn't necessary. The principal is aware of the situation and isn't providing any extra reinforcement for the IEP (He is retiring after this school year). Next year, the boy attends middle school and will have multiple teachers and it will be much harder for him to keep up without the foundation of skills he is missing from elementary. As a parent what do you do?

[houseelf]

Re: Hypothetical .....

This has so many layers, where to begin? Have the parents exhausted the "chain of command": parent, principal, board? How "under control" is the child's ADHD/mood disorder? Gah.

Who am I kidding? I have no idea. :huh:

Kelly

[poky]

Re: Hypothetical .....

Ask to switch classes to a different teacher with a different attitude, maybe?
Extra classwork at home?
Outside tutoring?
Summer school (maybe just not forgetting stuff over the summer will keep him caught up with his classmates?)

Sucks that the teacher doesn't care and the principal's got senioritis, and that next year will be so different.

[Phoebe]

Re: Hypothetical .....

Summer school has been cut, the mom is in there every day fighting for help, working with the teacher, upper admins are aware of the situation.

My friend/the mom is blaming the school system, principal for failing her son. I agree, but I still think it is up to her to make sure he gets the resources he needs such as a tutor. She is resistent and stuck on the school providing the services. She is convinced the teacher should be providing the curriculum in a way that her son understands/comprehends. I don't know if that is possible. But then am I not being understanding enough since I don't have kids that age and with an IEP? I would be getting my child a tutor. She spends hours a day on this kids's homework and there are always communication problems between what needs to be done and what he thinks should be done.

[Flynn]

Re: Hypothetical .....

I agree the school should be doing more. With that being said, the mom would have a better argument if she were using a tutor. It would reinforce the teachers inability or desire to teach the basics and deal with this student's needs.

I'm wondering how other parents feel? Is this teacher an okay teacher for the other students and this particular student has disabilities to work with which this teacher ignores? Mainstreaming is SUCH a double edged sword -- but I digress.

I'd get the tutor, keep bugging everyone and then eventually (after another month WITH the tutor) to to the uppers in the district. Go to the HIGH administration outside the school. Usually they want to keep discontent quiet so a mere conversation with a teacher from them might cut the boyfriend/dog visits and improve the math taught in class?

What an awful situation. I'd be worried about middle school too. Having 5-7 teachers a day is a difficult transition for any student in an elementary setting PLUS middle school teachers can be hard and inflexible because "the high school teachers expect you to know this." It can be a strange cycle.

Good luck to your friend!

[Phoebe]

Re: Hypothetical .....

Other parents are upset with the inconsistencies of the teacher. She doesn't always follow through.

My friend brought up the boyfriend/dog visit up in a recent IEP meeting and the principal reprimanded the mom afterward for talking about personal things in an IEP setting. Her son was docked on in-class project for not using his time wisely when the teacher asked him to watch out the window for the boyfriend/dogs. Is that fair?

I am trying to convince my friend to get the tutor, she is worried about monetary issues. This is the same mom whose DH bought the Hummer w/o permission.

Mainstreaming is hard. Some group of group learners always suffers. In our school district, many special needs kids suffer.

[Rapunzel]

Re: Hypothetical .....

Other parents are upset with the inconsistencies of the teacher. She doesn't always follow through.

My friend brought up the boyfriend/dog visit up in a recent IEP meeting and the principal reprimanded the mom afterward for talking about personal things in an IEP setting. Her son was docked on in-class project for not using his time wisely when the teacher asked him to watch out the window for the boyfriend/dogs. Is that fair?.

Uhhh.... Nope that is definitely not fair - especially when dealing with a child who already has attention span problems!

Now, I have to be very hypothetical here, but if this were my friend I would point out to her that she has apparently been the squeaky wheel and she is NOT getting the grease. Ideally her voice would be heard when advocating for her child and his already acknowledged special needs. However, it appears her voice is being ignored - and so is her child.

And, then I would point out to this friend (if she were mine) that SHE is going to have to take the bull by the nose and make sure her son has what he needs - literally. Whether it be via a tutor or homeschooling him herself or some other method SHE is where the buck stops.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Hypothetical .....

My nephew is mainstreamed-- granted he's only in 2nd grade. He's got autism, and he's high functioning, but is really starting to struggle this year with the added stress of the mandated testing coming up. They do pull him out each day for "special ed" which is more like a 1-on-1 tutoring situation. I assume they don't offer that in your school? I just don't see how your friend's son can make the transition successfully without some sort of tutoring.

I would really look into homeschooling. The strain of the transition to middle school has been really huge.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Hypothetical .....

Jenn,

I'm late responding here, but I just wanted to throw in my .02

There are laws governing the administration of IEPs (I'm not familiar with them, but the parent in question should be able to find out as much as possible about how to file a complaint if necessary if the IEP is not being followed as ordered.) I have a friend here with a child who has an IEP and I know that she is a crazy advocate and has to be or her kiddo consistently falls through the cracks. She has also expressed a lot of distaste over IEP meetings, condescension, etc. Maybe it will help your friend to know that she's not alone with the problem?

If I were the mom, I'd start considering alternatives to this school district and the upcoming transition to middle school unless she can really stand up and get his needs met.

Being a parent advocate sux because you end up being the parent that the principal runs from when she sees you coming but it is sometimes the only way to get the child's needs met.

She should call another IEP meeting to express her concerns about middle school, meet with the principal at the middle school, talk to the superintendent and then...consider switching schools. I don't think every parent can homeschool effectively and when your child has disabilities it can even be more difficult.

I hope she gets the help that she needs and deserves for both her and her son.


Kris

[diggitydot]

Re: Hypothetical .....

There are laws governing the administration of IEPs (I'm not familiar with them, but the parent in question should be able to find out as much as possible about how to file a complaint if necessary if the IEP is not being followed as ordered.) I have a friend here with a child who has an IEP and I know that she is a crazy advocate and has to be or her kiddo consistently falls through the cracks. She has also expressed a lot of distaste over IEP meetings, condescension, etc. Maybe it will help your friend to know that she's not alone with the problem?

100% agreement.

Your friend really needs to understand that making a PIA of herself is totally acceptable if the school isn't implementing the IEP correctly. The teacher and administration aren't her friends and she really shouldn't worry about whether they like her or not. That's their issue, not hers. Her issue is simply to facilitate getting the resources necessary to set her child up for a successful educational experience.

Feel free to PM me if you'd want info from another parent who has BTDT, Jenn. (Also, I have a ton of friends/family in education who have been a real wealth of information for us during our IEP adventures.)

Re: Hypothetical .....

She needs to find an advocate. I found one for my son through a local special needs group. Before we ever got to use him, we had to pull our son out of that school. He was wasting away with worry and sadness. He is only six, but he was weighed down by all of it. His teacher has a baby and another child, and she waned to be home with them not teaching. Can't blame her, except she was supposed to be teaching my son according to his IEP! Meeting after meeting did nothing, and I couldn't let my son struggle like that.

We are 3 weeks into homeschooling, and he is a new boy!

Re: Hypothetical .....

She is resistent and stuck on the school providing the services. She is convinced the teacher should be providing the curriculum in a way that her son understands/comprehends.

IMO there is no way to make this happen in a public school. They have to many kids to do this in the effective way her son needs. And the idea that the school is by itself going to serve a child all he needs for his special needs is not going to happen. You have to be your own advocate, you have to look at more options, and many of them are not in the doors of a school. I haven't read the other responces but I say that if she sees her son being neglected, she has to be proactive and figure out what is her goals for her son.

Goals for the end of this year.
Goals for next year.
Goals for the total time of middle school.

Then make goals for high school.

Many issues for children with ADHD are NOT just in the accedimc area, but socially as well, which will cause hardships for all of middle school and high school. IMO if she is very concerned, either get a tutor herself, look into summer camps to help ADHD kids when he is out of school, and continue to push the public school to get the IEP done effectively. Or, pull him out and next year put him in a good private school, but be ready to have to again be his advocate. The teachers by and large are not going to be looking for new methods to help him specially, SHE as his mother has to do it. Then she needs to talk to the teachers he has about what she thinks are helpful.

If she thinks getting and IEP is enough, I'm sad to say life isn't that easy.

eta:

When I was still in St. Louis I asked to observe a local private school for special needs kids with above average intelligence. It was a really cool school. The idea is for a child to stay there for 3 years or less, to learn how to deal with their LD and find a way learn so they don't lag behind in a general ed class. They have a high sucess rate. The first part of the day is in the classroom, the they have tutoring in the afternoon. I loved the idea that it was to help kids so they can learn to function in a normal classroom. They help with learning to do tests, reading and so forth in an appropriate time frame. As many kids can't get through a normal class because it takes them so much longer to process the information. Here is the link for the school. She could see if a similar program is in her town:

http://www.churchillstl.org/