Is preschool *really* necessary?

[samssugarmomma]

To all of you moms and dads that have gone before,

I need thoughts on what to do about preschool for Natalie. Is preschool really necessary?

Here is the deal:
When EasternStar (our blog name for our adopted daughter) comes home (and we don't know when that will be), I'm hoping that I can finally retire and be a SAHM forever. DH is hoping to moonlight enough to cover my salary and he thinks that this is possible. We are testing it out now before EasternStar comes home to make sure it is doable.

Natalie has been in daycare since birth except for the year after Lilly died. She knows her alphabet and her numbers. She can write all of the letters of the alphabet and most of the numbers. She knows how to share, can sit still in a group, how to listen to the teacher, etc. The daycare that she is in know is actually a daycare with a preschool ciriculum of sorts. They change up the classroom every month - last month they "studied" ice cream complete with a field trip to an ice cream store, making ice cream, changing the dramatic play area into an ice cream shop, doing ice cream artwork, reading books about ice cream, etc. This month it is camping.

Since we don't know when ES is coming home, I don't know when/if I'll transition to full time SAHM. So, I don't know if I should sign Natalie up for preschool now, or if I wait until ES comes home, which could be Sept. or Oct or later. What if all of the classes are full? Do preschool classes generally fill up at the good schools?

Her daycare now is not expensive for us because I am working, but if I am a SAHM, it is way out of our budget so she couldn't keep going there.

I've been longing for the last 4 years to stay at home with her and if I finally do get to stay home once ES comes home, I don't even know that I want to send her off to school 3 days a week. She'll be starting kindergarten in the fall of 2010 and we've decided on an all day program so I feel like this year is my last year with her before she heads off to school forever.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm not really sure what the point of preschool is. I feel like she knows how to behave in a classroom setting and to me that is the purpose of preschool. Is that right? I want to make sure that she is prepared for kindergarten, but I also want this last chance to have her at home. Am I overthinking this?

Of course, I guess it is possible that DH won't be able to moonlight enough to cover my salary and then I'll be stuck working full time for the next three years and all of this worry will be for nothing........

[Rapunzel]

I ended up putting exactly one of my six children into preschool. The sole reason I did this was to have a break from her. My older four I didn't feel like I needed that break - but their personalities are much milder than hers.

To tell the truth I haven't noticed any difference between her and the kids who did NOT go to preschool. She's on par with how all four of her older siblings were emotionally, academically, and socially at the exact same age. So, preschool didn't seem to do much beyond provide me with a babysitter a few times a week (and, yes, this was a preschool that taught the children - colors, alphabet, rudimentary math, Spanish, etc.). Honestly, my older four picked up just as much from me doing normal "parent" things. My conclusion is an involved parent can accomplish just as much with a little child as a highly rated preschool program.

But, I definitely needed that break this last year with that particular child. In that way alone I found it to be quite helpful.

[samssugarmomma]

That makes me feel better Rapunzel. We definately "hands on" parents - she helps us do everything so I feel comfortable that she is getting exposed to a lot of things.

[Pollyanna]

My conclusion is an involved parent can accomplish just as much with a little child as a highly rated preschool program.

I completely agree.

[madeintaiwan]

I only sent J to one year of pre-k and A will be starting her one year of pre-k this fall. I'm sure pre-school is great. J has not suffered. He didn't know jack squat when he started pre-k. He was already pretty well mannered, used to other adults [authority], and shared well. He just refused to work on those things with me and I didn't see it fit to battle with him on it. He'll be in the 3rd grade next month and he was off the charts for everything they tested him in last year. If you need to break or you feel she needs to stimulation, then I say go for it. Otherwise, I don't think not going to pre-school ever hurt anyone.

[madeintaiwan]

Ditto to Rapunzel and Tara.

[fluffhead]

I don't think there is any academic reason for preschool - you can certainly work with your kids on any of the skills they need for Kindergarten, or for goodness sakes they can get it from TV. Socially I found it helpful for my kids to be around other kids in a controlled environment, but that wasn't enough reason to send them - they could get that from the playground, friends, etc. Somewhat dependent upon the personality of the kid as well - some kids just need to be with a group, and be more directed.
Really the reason for preschool is to let parents work or get out of the house. Our sitter will be taking care of 2 babies so we'll put our toddler in preschool, until 1 PM.
I stayed home FT with our oldest until she was 18 months, and it wasn't a Good Thing for me.

Glad to have you back, btw. Hope everything goes smoothly with ES.

[mommax3]

ITA with what everyone above posted. All of my kids went to preschool 2 to 3 days a week because *I* couldn't have survived without it, especially during residency, but afterwards, too. The academics, while present in all three of the schools we used, were not the reason I sent them. I think the learning to sit in a circle, walk in a line, etc. etc. were helpful for my oldest (most strong-willed), but he would have learned that stuff eventually due to church, anyway.

With DH working 100+ hours a week during residency in a city where we knew no one, I had to have some relief. I am to this day very grateful for the preschool we used in San Antonio, and I still remember every one of his teachers' names. They were often the only adults I interacted with during the course of a week.

In your situation, I think your daughter will be fine without preschool, and you will treasure your time with her.

[Ladybug]

My instinct is to keep her home and adjust together as a growing family. Maybe with you suddenly staying home and her new sibling arriving it would be confusing to her to leave for preschool. If you need a break to grab some groceries or run errands then a sitter would be a lot cheaper and more flexible.

[Momo]

My instinct is to keep her home and adjust together as a growing family. Maybe with you suddenly staying home and her new sibling arriving it would be confusing to her to leave for preschool. If you need a break to grab some groceries or run errands then a sitter would be a lot cheaper and more flexible.

I was thinking along the same lines as Annie. No matter what you do all will be fine!

[Chrisada]

As a former elementary school teacher, I completely agree with everyone else. Preschool is not needed as long as you teach your child at home. The only reason I would consider preschool would be to get a break!

I agree with the responses. My kids liked preschool but so did I. I second or third the suggestion to to plan for some babysitting time or MOPS or something like that.

[GrayMatterWife]

I completely agree.

I would consider enrolling her part-time. Not so much for her, but for you and for ES. While Natalie would benefit with the new types of socialization and experiences but not suffer from being away from you for too long, it would also afford you a chance to spend one-on-one time with ES for bonding.

[HouseofWool]

The only other issue that I think can come up for kids who don't have any pre-school or daycare experience is that they have issues with the group dynamic. My sister's oldest had a really tough time in kindergarden because he wasn't used to 1) being away from mom and 2) the structure that is in the classroom.

[Rapunzel]

The only other issue that I think can come up for kids who don't have any pre-school or daycare experience is that they have issues with the group dynamic. My sister's oldest had a really tough time in kindergarden because he wasn't used to 1) being away from mom and 2) the structure that is in the classroom.

When I was growing up adjusting to both 1 & 2 was what kindergarten was for.