Getting Dressed-Please Help

[Phoebe]

I need your suggestions about my strong-willed, indecisive kindergartener. She is incapable of deciding what to wear for any situation, including bed.

The process is that she first has to wait until she sees what her older sister is wearing. Believe me I have tried to interrupt this, but it doesn't work. It also causes problems for my older daughter having her younger sister hanging around. Imagine the chaos. Then she goes in her room and looks at her options and comes up empty. She used copy her sister's outfits, she now just wants to wear her sister's clothes many of which are too big. Again both of these options cause conflict with DD#1. I have put the kabash on wearing her sister's clothes by locking her door leaving DD#2 doing the naked dance until the bus is around the corner. The mornings have become stressful. Bedtime is pretty much the same routine. It drives me crazy. And if she does want something, it is always the shirt in the washing machine. She won't take suggestions from my husband or I either.

She has plenty of clothes old and new. She has already missed the bus once. I don't want her to start out her day like that. Any ideas?

[ladymoreta]

I'm not sure if she'd go for this, but my mom always had us pick out our clothes the night before, then they would be laying out for us the next morning.

[rainbabies]

i feel your pain. i have the same issues with dd #1. i think you know this...

eventually she relented on the clothing battle...a little. we have to pick her outfits out at night, together. and she and dd #2 cannot be wearing anything that looks the same. (they can share clothing). this morning, when she saw what she was wearing (after aproving it last night) she said she wanted to wear new clothes. i told her no, that this is what we picked out together, and "you can't always wear your new stuff" she was okay with it after a minute.


anyhow...

what about narrowing her choices? take everything out of her closet except two choices (outfits) tell her to pick one outfit and that's it?

*sigh*

i don't know jennifer...it's hard. ds just puts on what i set out for him the night before. in that regard, he is my easy one.

good luck getting a solution figured out.

[Michele]

this was always my mom's argument FOR school uniforms

[DCJenn]

I have to say, it's been great- the choices are either a white polo or a dark green polo and khaki shorts or long pants. PERIOD.

The girls can wear jumpers or skirts, too.

Jenn

Any chance of implementing a 'uniform' in your house?

I second the idea of picking out clothes the night before though I guess that doesn't help with the pjs. Maybe she could be the family weather reporter and check the weather the evening before and pick out clothes accordingly?

I have a shoe/sweater/barrette changer and it gets frustrating. Good luck!

[SoonerTexan]

take everything out of her closet except two choices (outfits) tell her to pick one outfit and that's it?

That's what I was going to suggest. My mom just gave up after me and let us wear whatever we wanted...needless to say, we didn't always match.

I heart school uniforms, always wanted them for myself, and hope to high heaven that my kids have them.

[bokelley]

I'm not sure if she'd go for this, but my mom always had us pick out our clothes the night before, then they would be laying out for us the next morning.

My mom did this as well.

[BonBon]

I agree with all of the above about picking out clothes the night before, limiting to several choices, etc. (and being a complete hardass in the morning about staying with the original selections!!) I like the idea of making her the weather reporter.

I love school uniforms too...but they don't do them here. (there's been a LOT of debate though)

[GrayMatterWife]

As a couple of other posters have said...two words: school uniforms. Love, love, love, love, LOVE 'em.

If she's that into clothes, maybe you could do a little calendar with her each week, where she carefully chooses her special outfits for school on Sunday night. Then, each weekday night, she lays out her clothes, based on the pre-arranged calendar, for school the next day?

[MDPhDWife]

After going through this argument for some time, I bought one of those things that hangs in closet with the days of week. Looks like this: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...a%3DN%26um%3D1

Usually on Sundays after doing laundry I'll organize both of my DD's outfits for the week. Since they like to dress alike often I'll include an outfit or two that accomodates this. I've gotten the complaints back that they like to pick their own outfits so I allow them to choose what outfits to put into the weekend slot. Occassionally I'll allow them to give me more input if they're not being too indecisive. You can also do this for the pj's so that eliminates that issue in the evening.

Good luck, girls can be so opinionated about their clothes. FWIW, I was the same way when I was young!

Kind of topic stretching, but do you also have an issue with her picking out weather-appropriate clothing? I know we get that here, where there are times in the winter where any given day could be anywhere from -10F to 40F.

I read about a technique (but never tried it, the phase passed before I got organized) where you make a big thermometer with pictures of appropriate clothing on it -- shorts at 90, parkas below 10, etc. Then every morning you "set" the thermometer with the current outside weather, and that can help the kid be organized about choosing something appropriate. It kind of removes the element of power struggle from the situation because then it's not you saying "YOU MUST WEAR A COAT", it's more like, hey it's cold outside, what kind of clothing do you want to wear?

I don't know if that's relevant to your situation, but we're totally going to need to do that with my younger daughter. Once for three weeks she refused to put on a stitch of clothing. In February! She was ONE AND A HALF.

Anyway. Thread hijack over.

[Phoebe]

That's a good idea, Sam. Normally, I try to suggest weather appropriate clothes and if it doesn't go over, then I let them choose and have natural consequences. I know bad mom. I have strong-willed children. I make sure they have appropriate outerwear.

I have been enforcing the night before clothing choice which has helped a lot. Choices haven't been too tough because my daughter has been insisting on wearing the same thing everyday for the past 5 days. I have been able to wash it. I give up! She said a boy in her class called her stupid for having the same clothes on. She didn't seemed to phased by it. I can only imagine what she called him.

That's a good idea, Sam. Normally, I try to suggest weather appropriate clothes and if it doesn't go over, then I let them choose and have natural consequences. I know bad mom. I have strong-willed children. I make sure they have appropriate outerwear.

I have been enforcing the night before clothing choice which has helped a lot. Choices haven't been too tough because my daughter has been insisting on wearing the same thing everyday for the past 5 days. I have been able to wash it. I give up! She said a boy in her class called her stupid for having the same clothes on. She didn't seemed to phased by it. I can only imagine what she called him.

One time our oldest daughter refused to put on her coat when it was -30F outside. I offered to let her step outside without her coat on. Three seconds later she was inside putting on the coat. Crude but effective!

[HouseofWool]

One time our oldest daughter refused to put on her coat when it was -30F outside. I offered to let her step outside without her coat on. Three seconds later she was inside putting on the coat. Crude but effective!

Not at all crude - some kids must learn by doing.

My son on the other hand will wear a full track suit when it is 80+ out... The kid hates jeans of any kind. I fear that he will end up being the weird kid at school who only wears track pants or (as he calls them) "sweat shorts".