Birthday party etiquette for siblings

[Cumberland]

My DD was invited to a birthday party for someone in her kindergarten class at a jumpy place. I am not sure what to do about her 3.5 yr old sister- does she get to go or stay home? It doesnt say anything about siblings on the invite.

I am going to have a really hard time explaining to her that she doesnt get to go. Incidentally, the little boy's dad is an attending in DH's dept but he doesnt know him that well.

[Meenah]

I would say the invite is only for the five year old. My daughters were also 1 1/2 years apat, and it wasn't always easy. If everyone invited has a younger sibling and they all showed up I think the birthday parent would freak. This is one of the 101 reasons I HATED birthday parties!!!

[L.Jane]

Do you have to attend the party with DD? If not, you can take the little one for a special mommy/daughter date to something you know she loves. It will make her feel special. Unfortunately siblings aren't always going to get to do what the other one does. Especially birthday parties.

[Cumberland]

DH is out of town so that means a babysitter in order for her to go without her sisters. That is a pain in the butt.

[Meenah]

Is someone else invited that she could go with? I had a friend with girls with the same age spread as mine, and we used to trade off being the parent to take the kids.

I would say the invite is only for the five year old. My daughters were also 1 1/2 years apat, and it wasn't always easy. If everyone invited has a younger sibling and they all showed up I think the birthday parent would freak. This is one of the 101 reasons I HATED birthday parties!!!

Yes. Unfortunately these places sell their party packages for 10 (usually), and then a per-head price for each additional child. It gets very tricky. I was going to say you could offer to pay for your additional child, but in all likelihood the mom wouldn't accept it. You could check to see if they're also running an "open jump" time that you could take your younger daughter to while the older one is at the party.

My boys are 17.5 months apart, and I've had to decline these invites on more than one occasion saying just explaining that dh isn't available to hang with Quinn.

[MrsK]

I'd say that the younger sibling is not invited. Bringing another uninvited child is an imposition on the hostess -- sort of like bringing an uninvited guest to a wedding. Kids don't always get what they want. Life is not always fair. Sometimes one child gets to do something that the other does not. Your younger child will be invited to parties too that the older child cannot attend.

[migirl]

I agree with Luanne, is there someone else in DD#1's class w/ a younger sibling who could take both older kids to the party while you watch the younger ones (or vice versa...)?

When's the party? I could watch the younger ones for you. I'll send you an email...

[Ladybug]

The invites usually say "siblings welcomed" if they are included. ITA that birthday parties without sibs are a pain in the cake.

[MDPhDWife]

I'm really glad you asked this because I've been wondering the same thing. Now that both my girls are school age we've already run into this situation twice since the school year started. It's tough to explain to the uninvited sibling. I especially worry that this problem may become bigger if one of the girls becomes more popular than the other.

I agree about checking to see if there's an open jump session happening that you could take the sibling to. I've done that a couple times.

[ladymoreta]

I agree that the younger sibling should not attend, but it would be great if you could find something fun for her to do while the other is at the party. My sister and I were very close in age (14 months apart), so this happened to us occasionally. I didn't like it when she would get to go to parties and I didn't, but I wasn't permanently traumatized. I did learn that whenever I had kids, I would invite their friends' siblings.

This is the story of our life at my house. My eldest daughter is 6 and WAY more outgoing than my 5 year old. But that's the way life is - sometimes one kid is going to get something that the other is not going to get.

I am probably a mean mom and don't work to please all three at the same time - because being 6,5, & 3 - it is close to impossible. Just because one kid gets something, doesn't mean the other is going to get it. They have learned this at a young age.

If it doesn't say "siblings welcome" then I wouldn't bring your other child. That being said - what crazy person ever *thinks* to put "siblings welcome" on a birthday party invite! JUST CRAZY! lol....

It would get pretty cumbersome if everyone brought siblings along so yes it is just for the primary invitee.