twin etiquette....

[Cumberland]

Another etiquette question from me- my DD has THREE sets of twins in her kindergarten class. I talked briefly with a mom of boy-girl twins about her daughter coming home for a playdate this week. Is it rude not to invite the little boy? I dont mind having him but I think DD more so wants to play with the girl.

What about the girl-girl twins- should I always invite them together?

[moonlight]

Someone correct me but I think 5 year old boys would rather not play with a couple girls on a play date??

For the boy/girl twins, I'd talk to the mom and say "I'm happy to have Billy here, but am afriad we don't have much in the way of boy entertainment and wouldn't want him to be left out." That will open the door to the discussion and if he usually goes along you can figure it out then. For the girl pair, you could just say "I'm new to twin friends - do you usually do playdates for both at once, or have they each made their own sets of friends?" My guess is for the girl pair, you'll end up with both at once.

In both cases I wouldn't worry so much about the invitation etiquette as it can really be cleared with a couple leading questions.

[scrub-jay]

I would talk to the parents, some twin-parents that I've known encourage their identical twins to lead separate lives with different groups of friends, other parents tend to keep them more together. I'd just talk to the parents...same with the boy-girl pair -- just see where the parents stand.

[diggitydot]

Someone correct me but I think 5 year old boys would rather not play with a couple girls on a play date??

Depends on the kid. Our youngest looooooooves playing with his sisters and their stuff. But he also looooooooves playing with his own Legos and pirates, too.

[Pollyanna]

For the boy/girl twins, I'd talk to the mom and say "I'm happy to have Billy here, but am afriad we don't have much in the way of boy entertainment and wouldn't want him to be left out." That will open the door to the discussion and if he usually goes along you can figure it out then. For the girl pair, you could just say "I'm new to twin friends - do you usually do playdates for both at once, or have they each made their own sets of friends?" My guess is for the girl pair, you'll end up with both at once.

In both cases I wouldn't worry so much about the invitation etiquette as it can really be cleared with a couple leading questions.

Ditto!

[peggyfromwastate]

My boy/girl twins have been going to separate playdates since about K. For some moms, it's not worth the hassle and the drama for the left out twin. For me, if one is feeling badly about not being invited, I take him or her to do something special without their other half...

Anyway, all twins are different so I'd definitely ask the mom! She won't be offended, and it's much better for her b/c she'll have to prepare her twins for whatever you decide to do.

[Rapunzel]

Don't have boy-girl twins so can't answer that aspect.

As to my girl-girl twins: They have the same friends so it's natural for them both to go to a friends house together. And, if their friends come to our house they play with both girls (and, often a little sister or two as well). Hasn't caused any problems. Since they are each others' absolutely best friend we respect that and allow them to play with their friends together if they so choose.