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I've been feeling... stressed in general. Life is crazy. I can never catch up. As soon as I try to clean something, anything, the toddler is at the same time destroying another area of the house. It's definitely one step forward two steps back. Her naps are 45 minutes if I'm lucky...
BUT,
I have really been feeling like it's *necessary* for me to be home and available 24-7 for my kids lately. And I've taken a lot of satisfaction in that knowledge that I really am the one who is equipped for all this... I think feeling needed is really key, isn't it?
Yesterday this all came home for me in a moment-- and I felt content right then... Truly content. I was talking to Steven, my uber-independent, sort of aloof, very confidant young man of 8 years old... the one who since age 2 has been taking on the *man of the household* role when DH is gone... Anyway, he was recently diagnosed with Diabetes. He's been doing great, checking his sugars, etc. I was telling him that the health aide was not going to be there at school the next day to give him his insulin at lunch, but the school nurse would be there (she only comes by once a week- so he doesn't know her well.) I asked him if he wanted me to come to give him the shot--- I thought, this is Steven, he'll be like, "I don't care, she can do the shot, whatever...", but he jumped all over the offer. He said, "OK" in that hopeful way he has-- like I had just asked him if he wanted to play the Wii for 3 hours.
I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is to me... It made me feel important, and it's hard to feel important sometimes as a SAHM... But I know I'm important and necessary to these 5 little people-- and in the end, I know I won't regret being here, doing this job, even though often I feel like no more than a taken-advantage-of-dreams-gone-by-the-wayside-homemaker...
But in that moment... I was content. That just might pull me the rest of the way through this week!!!
BUT,
I have really been feeling like it's *necessary* for me to be home and available 24-7 for my kids lately. And I've taken a lot of satisfaction in that knowledge that I really am the one who is equipped for all this... I think feeling needed is really key, isn't it?
Yesterday this all came home for me in a moment-- and I felt content right then... Truly content. I was talking to Steven, my uber-independent, sort of aloof, very confidant young man of 8 years old... the one who since age 2 has been taking on the *man of the household* role when DH is gone... Anyway, he was recently diagnosed with Diabetes. He's been doing great, checking his sugars, etc. I was telling him that the health aide was not going to be there at school the next day to give him his insulin at lunch, but the school nurse would be there (she only comes by once a week- so he doesn't know her well.) I asked him if he wanted me to come to give him the shot--- I thought, this is Steven, he'll be like, "I don't care, she can do the shot, whatever...", but he jumped all over the offer. He said, "OK" in that hopeful way he has-- like I had just asked him if he wanted to play the Wii for 3 hours.
I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is to me... It made me feel important, and it's hard to feel important sometimes as a SAHM... But I know I'm important and necessary to these 5 little people-- and in the end, I know I won't regret being here, doing this job, even though often I feel like no more than a taken-advantage-of-dreams-gone-by-the-wayside-homemaker...
But in that moment... I was content. That just might pull me the rest of the way through this week!!!
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