Obnoxious Swim Parents

[peggyfromwastate]

So, I don't want to be one of them, but I haven't experienced this world of *uber* competetive youth sports. I know some of you have, with travel teams and what not...

I just wanted some advice. Last weekend we had our first swim meet. Steven swam 5 events total, 2 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday. Saturday we were there for about 6 hours, Sunday about 5. My parents are in town, so that was helpful, but ultimately Kate ended up doing a lot of babysitting bc my parents wanted to watch the meet...

Anyway, Steven didn't do bad, he did fine, but he pretty much got his butt kicked. He was like 18th out of 25 or something in most events. He was probably the youngest swimmer in his division, since he swam against 9 and 10 year olds based on the first day of the meet. There weren't a lot of 9 year olds there, and he did pretty well against the 9 year olds. Anyway, he's learning a lot, and I think the meets are a good way for the coaches to see what he does in a meet, and to see better how to help him.

There are only about 4 more meets he can just enter without hitting some qualifying time. I think he should sign up to do 2 more meets in November, but that puts us at these big meets every other weekend for the next 6 weeks or so.

How do you know if you're pushing them too much?

Steven said he isn't sure he wants to do the first meet... Mac will be back, though, and I could probably get Steven to do it, but... I just don't know. He doesn't seem to hate swimming or anything, and since making the transition to team he likes going to practice more than he has in a long time. He is learning a lot...

On one hand, I can see how now is the time for him to get his meets in as he probably won't qualify for most of the meets that happen after December, except for maybe 1 that is *open*. He'll get better as he gets older and the old kids age up to the next age division.

On the other hand I don't want to be the swim parent standing there with my own personal stopwatch yelling at him for missing the wall on his flip turn, or telling him how to kick faster, or whatever. Like I know as I never did competetive swimming!

Any opinions on what's too much? I was going to show him the schedule, and that there aren't many meets he'll be able to do later on, and then let him choose. But if he chooses to sit out this next meet, I just don't think it's a good idea. I think he'd regret it later...

[scrub-jay]

Swimming is such a culture of its own. I say go with your own comfort level. My parents chose to be really supportive, but not overly obsessed with my (or my brother's) performance. At home meets they were meet directors or meet officials. They wanted me to love swimming and took me to any of the away meets I wanted to go to. However, they never pushed super hard to make me hate swimming. I'd say listen to your kids and follow your gut, there is a huge discrepancy in how parents behave. If Steven responds well to pushing (I always did), then by all means - go for it. If it makes him shut down (my brother), then probably not recommended. Good luck!