4 year old WMD

[PrincessFiona]

I have alluded to this in a few posts. We have a neighbor who I really like that allows his 4 year old to have free run of the neighborhood. She is at our house daily. She is a sweet girl, and Zoe loves her, but she is completely undisciplined.

Like .... She goes through my cupboards, takes food and makes a huge mess. She painted and drew on my sliding glass doors instead of the paper provided. She tells Zoe she doesn't want to be her friend anymore if Zoe doesn't want to do what she does. She came over twice yesterday while I was sick and made a huge mess.

Today I'm recovering but I'm not 100%. She came over and I put a Dora video on while I cleaned the kitchen. I smelled something burning. I ran downstairs and she had turned on our little bar oven to broil. She had snuck a yogurt down and smeared it on the floor.

Gaaah. I don't know how to handle it. I can't imagine a scenario where I don't let her in. So. Do I discipline her like I would Zoe? If she is going to be here she has to follow our rules. I have avoided anything approaching discipline, but. Holy sheep shit.

Advice?

[poky]

Um, yes. "my house, my rules" is completely appropriate, and it sounds like it's something she desperately needs, too.

[scrub-jay]

Short of spanking (which can be a controversial discipline-style between parents), I agree - "My house, My rules." You could even tell her father/parents that you enjoy her company, but to maintain safety in your home you will be starting to enforce the house rules more with all visitors. This would at least prepare them when their daughter runs home upset that you made her clean up her own mess (for example).

[medpedspouse]

If I was the parent, I'd be mortified. I think being sick is the perfect excuse to say something...after all, you wouldn't want her to get sick too.

[Momo]

Take photos of these iphone camera moments and send them over there w/the caption: "Just thought you might want to know what she's up to over here... Sending her back over to you now to handle the discipline!"

I agree with your house your rules. Best of luck

[Michele]

I would discipline her in a my house my rules kinda way. And if she or the dad gets too upset, you can then choose to send her home/close your house. She could've caused a fire. That's really serious. Zoes a smart girl, but would she do something like that because the other little girl did? I'd be worried about the bad behaviors rubbing off on my own kids.

My house / my rules. I'd never ever spank someone else's kid (and can't remember the last time I spanked any of mine), but I do correct them, and/or send them home. I don't normally call and "tell", but do in cases of dangerous behavior and would in that case.

[MDPhDWife]

My house / my rules. I'd never ever spank someone else's kid (and can't remember the last time I spanked any of mine), but I do correct them, and/or send them home. I don't normally call and "tell", but do in cases of dangerous behavior and would in that case.

This. Not sure that I'd call this time but in the future if something dangerous happened I would.

[SuzySunshine]

Do you know if she acts like this at home? Does she have siblings? I'd definitely call, she turned on a burner and could have caused a fire. But I agree with everyone else, my house my rules.

[diggitydot]

Dude, I wouldn't even let the kid in the door -- sick or not. I've used the line "I'm sorry, we're not able to have guests today, but maybe tomorrow. Sorry, see you later" and then shut the door.

It isn't rude to take steps that save your sanity and homeowners insurance.