Ok, talk me down

[DCJenn]

I'm in Delaware right now- getting ready to do a survey at my pt gig. I left the dude at my parents house- this week they hang out, Rick has him all weekend (he graduates on Friday and my parents and the dude are going- they're leaving him w/ Rick and they'll head back over to my parents on Sunday), my nephew and the dude will be going to Chespeake Bay Environmental Camp the following week. Rick's packers come on the 27th and hopefully the boys can leave soon after that. (No later than 7/1 though)

I'm thrilled to have 3 weeks off but now I'm having all of my "What If" Scenarios. Horrible things- my parents crash and everyone dies. My husband careens the car off the highway. My kid drowns in the Bay.

I am such a control freak. There is no doubt in my head that this is the best thing for both of us- we've been together WAY too long at this point.

OK- tell me I'm a freak and pat me on the head and send me on my way.

J.

[Chrisada]

I thought that was just me! I'm letting my mom come from Nashville and drive back there with the boys for a week and am already very nervous. I have relatives who leave their kids for at least a month with grandparents in different states starting at infancy for the summer. So, I'm a total freak with you, or maybe we're just moms.

[diggitydot]

Totally normal feelings, but everything and everyone will be just fine. I struggle with this when we leave our kids with family, too. But they're OK even if someone else doesn't do things the way I do them.

Wanna join me in a glass (or bottle) of wine? Kids are officially on summer break so I'm uncorking that puppy VERY soon.

[SuzySunshine]

Jenn, I'm having the same freak out about our trip to OR in a few weeks. What happens if something happens to the car DH is in right in front of us or what happens if we let my parents drive with the kids and something happens to them? I'm making sure our guardian papers are up to date before we go.

Big big hugs - we're all normal to freak out about this stuff!

Totally normal. In fact, search for your advice to me right before our trip to Europe ... I'm pretty sure you did one of your patented, deadpan Jenn "GO - it's best for all of you" responses. I have those freakouts even when dh takes the kids to the movies. But you guys ABSOLUTELY need the break. (and he WILL miss you ...)

[Phoebe]

Totally normal. You are with your son so much that it is foreign when you aren't, especially out of your element.

[houseelf]

Hell, with my batting average lately, I'm pretty sure my kids are better off with just about anyone but me.

But I totally get this. I still freak out over it every time.

[GrayMatterWife]

You're not a freak.

However, it is just as possible that there could be a hideous car crash if you're all together. The Dude could drown in a pool near your house instead of the Bay. Your presence or absence does not equate to control over stuff like that. Think of it this way: what if you don't let him go to camp because you are worried he'll drown (not because you KNOW it, but because you irrationally believe your presence will prevent it)...then...when he WOULD HAVE been at camp, he falls down and breaks his arm...with you standing right there. Then you'd be wishing you'd sent him to camp!

Relax. Life's truly horrible...and wonderful...things happen and they are rarely in our control.

But, this is also a little of the pot calling the kettle black...EVERY SINGLE TIME I go out of town, I rigorously clean and organize my office. I am paranoid that I am going to die and the poor secretary will have to clean up all my crap and find out that I am, deep down inside, a "hidden in the drawers" slob.

[peggyfromwastate]

He's going to have a fabulous time at camp. But it is HUGE.

I struggle with this too. I just have to try to take a deep breathe and shut down the "what Ifs".

[DCJenn]

I love you guys. The good news is that my dad will NOT have a heart attack- he has a fabulous new pacemaker that will keep on going. (he goes to the same doc that sees Dick Cheney and if she can keep that heartless (haha) bastard alive, dad is in good hands.) My mother is as nuts as I am so that should offer the dude some level of crazy-familiar.

I know logically that my presense doesn't mean squat (except for the time of the beheading/car smooshing issue- see "nursemaids elbow" thread- then I really did save his life)

He and Jack are going to have so much fun at camp- and hopefully they'll actually learn something as well. My mother volunteers at the Environmental Center where it's being held so she's already informed the director to separate them if she has to and to report any egregious misbehavior.

and truly, my mother won't even let my father drive them in the convertible w/ the top down- except on their micro street at 5mph.

I'm going to go to bed, read a magazine completely undisturbed by child or pets and head off to hang out at a methadone clinic tomorrow. (already read the policies and procedures manual, hence the need to go bed)

Thanks all!

J.

[Meenah]

So very normal!!!!!!!!!!! Uncork the bottle and enjoy!

[alison]

Everyone will be fine, except for you! . It's funny how your mind cooks up awful scenarios, and nothing ever remotely terrible happens!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Everyone will have a wonderful, safe time Enjoy your freedom and know he's in the next-best care to yours (or maybe better for your sanity at this point)!

[Vishenka69]

Enjoy the peace and quite for a few weeks. The Dude will be perfectly fine. My parents are convinced that DD is better off with just about anyone but us. In fact she didn't have any incidents with them or in daycare but we can't say the same thing about us.

[Chrisada]

A friend just posted on her FB that her 3 yr. old. and 4 1/2 yr. old are in Memphis with her family while she stays in DC and will be until August!