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sports... how to prepare your kid for a loss

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  • sports... how to prepare your kid for a loss

    Just looked at the Psych Sheet for the swim meet this weekend. Steven has to swim against mr #1 in the region... LOL. Steven is fast, he's the top for his age on his team, but this other kid is just out there.

    I really don't want Steven to be lapped in the 200 back... but it's a DISTINCT possibility!! LOL.

    Any advice?



    I think it's not fair that they split the meet up and are making the 10&Us swim against each other. If they kept the meet with the 12&U format they originally had, mr #1 would beat all the 12 year olds but Steven would beat a fair number of the 11 year olds. Now it's just a head to head of Steven vs #1 for events that no other 10&U swimmer would want to do... Like a 200 back, and a 200 fly... with no recovery time now!! Ugh...

    Peggy

    Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

  • #2
    That's hard. I think it is a life lesson to learn about winning and losing and sportsmanship. Maybe set a goal for Steven's event before the meet and concentrate on something he can control like his stroke or lowering his times. If he concentrates on a personal accomplishment, maybe the W or L won't matter as much to him. I know kids can be competitive though.
    Needs

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    • #3
      Allow him to feel the disappointment. It's a life lesson. Help him keep it in perspective, but afford him the opportunity to feel the sting of a loss. He will have a much better appreciation for winning!

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      • #4
        He's such a good kid. He hates losing of course, but no one wins all the time. Even mr #1 isn't #1 in everything nationally. Some events, yes...

        Anyway Steven looked at the psych sheet, saw the times of the other kids, and set his own goals that I think are reasonable. We will see when he's at the actual meet what happens!! He shouldn't be lapped-- not quite... But the other kid will finish the 200 back at least one pool length ahead of Steven!!
        Peggy

        Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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        • #5
          I think he's going into it with the right outlook. It is hard to go head to head, but 2 things will help: (1) come up w/a new goal - like beating your time (like Phoebe suggested) AND (2) have more people at the end of the lane cheering him on than the other guy does!! (wow, I'm sooo mature)
          Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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          • #6
            That kid makes my heart sing. i love the way he never backs down and never lets his diabetes slow him down. Not an inch.
            -Ladybug

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            • #7
              How did he do?
              Luanne
              wife, mother, nurse practitioner

              "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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              • #8
                He did fine-- he really didn't drop a lot of time, but he wasn't expecting to drop since he just had an awesome meet a few weeks ago where he dropped mad time... He ended up losing his favorite event (fly) that he had a chance of winning, but it was still his 2nd fastest time ever and he messed up his stroke.

                He got creamed by Mr Awesome, but that's ok-- it really didn't phase him bc he was focused on making the team top 20 all time which he did.

                The best part of the whole meet was that izzy qualified for junior Olympics in the fly (she's improved so much!!!!) and Steven was really happy for her. Now Steven and izzy will be swimming in that meet. What a HUGE confidence boost for her. And he didn't say "I'm totally faster than you are" like I might have been tempted to say to my siblings back in the day... He cheered her on which was just great to see!!!

                Peggy

                Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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                • #9
                  That is so awesome!!
                  Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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                  • #10
                    Way to go Peggy's twins!!!!!

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                    • #11
                      Wow. You have some talented kids! Congrats to all!
                      -L.Jane

                      Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                      Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                      Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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                      • #12
                        That's so fantastic!!!
                        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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                        • #13
                          Such cuties!

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                          • #14
                            Yay!!!!
                            Mom of 3, Veterinarian

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                            • #15
                              rock.stars.

                              I'm also continually amazed at how you manage to make all these practices and meets happen with so many kiddos and a spouse in residency. Cheers!
                              -Ladybug

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