Ballet and piano?

[Ladybug]

I'm having difficulty with DD1 (9 yo) and her extracurriculars lately. She's dug her heels in about practicing the piano. I've been pretty even about my response, but have agreed to let her quit piano after this years recital. I can't keep listening to her complain everyday. She's told me that it's because I picked the piano, but she wants to play the violin. She started violin this month. She's enjoying it, but it's just the beginning. She does not have natural perseverance and lacks the self discipline to practice when "it's not fun." I'm having difficulty drawing the line between pushing her into something she doesn't want to do vs. teaching her self-discipline and perseverance. It's definitely a personality thing, because I don't see this at all in her younger sister who complains at times, but once she starts she focuses and works on it.

Now she wants to quit ballet too. Says she hates it because it's no fun and the teacher is always telling you what to do. She prefers to free dance and chroegraph her own moves. We've had the talk about how learning to dance is like learning how to read. You have to learn the letters and rules of spelling before you can start writing your own stories that people can enjoy. She'd rather stay home and play with her sibs, but I also know that in a few years she will not be as interested in playing anymore. She's finishing 3rd grade.

I'm really not sure what to do...?

[v-girl]

M wanted to quit ballet around that age. I made her stick it out because if she quit and then decided she wanted to come back a year or two later, she would have to start a level or two back from everyone else. She stuck with it and can't imagine doing anything else.

[Deebs]

My kids are younger, so take my thoughts as just that - I haven't BTDT. Does she have other activities? My 7 year old can only handle 1-2 activities, aside from school and craves introspective time. My 5 year old is begging to take violin, ice skating, and art lessons, in addition to his current gymnastics and swim lessons. I think if those are her only activities, I might let her drop one, but keep the other.

[Phoebe]

We haven't had our kids stay in an activity they aren't interested in at their young ages. The main reason is my 9 yo will make everyone miserable and not get anything out of the activity if she is not motivated. It becomes a waste of money. One exception is my 11 year old being in competitive gymnastics. She wanted to quit and had put years of time into the sport. I didn't think she wanted to quit for the right reasons. Turns out, she didn't really want to quit, she was upset with a teammate and very discouraged with herself. My kids have never taken ballet because they are kids who need more action. What if you daughter took another kind of dance that is faster-paced, like jazz and came back to ballet if she liked if she changed her mind?

[Pollyanna]

I agree with Pheobe on getting her into a different type of dance. For the most part, unless your child is clammoring for a strict ballet curriculum I think it is best to start them in tap/ballet/jazz. If they get the desire to specialize as they get older then you can move to ballet only. Just make sure you find a studio that is strong on technique. But the love if dance does not always come through ballet. Dd11 is our only child that has wanted to go down the ballet road. I don't find it to be better than any of the other disciplines. A great hip hop class at your daughters age could be fun too!
I would let her drop piano as well. Our oldest four all play (or played) in the band. They liked their instruments and the social aspect of band. None of them are huge practicers unless they had a test coming up. I allowed their practice to be self directed. If they wanted to be first chair they would practice more. You have to decide what works best for your family in terms of practice. Our kids learned preserverance in different areas of life. But personality of the individual child will certainly dictate how they approach life.

[alison]

Would you say she's gotten what you want her to get out of piano? Like reading music, scales, or whatever you feel the skills are that you hoped she'd acquire? If so, I think she will have a lifelong appreciation for the instrument, and that's nothing to sneeze at, even if she quits now.

I can't say much about ballet, because I loved it. Every second of it, until I had to decide whether I wanted to pursue it for real or have a social life (and by that, I mean not do it 5 days/week and go on a year abroad to Germany).