Pulling kids out of school

[spotty_dog]

As y'all probably understand, our family time is limited due to DH's schedule. One of our most precious routines these past years has been retiring to our time-share in the mountains. We get four weeks a year there, and we go up there and just really fill up on family time in the absence of internet and other distractions.

We had a week at the beginning of September, and pulled DS out of first grade for three days. We have another week coming up shortly, and will be pulling him for another three days. I will be notifying the teacher on Monday, but I'm feeling anxious about it, like this much time off of school is unreasonable. I'm not worried about DS and his learning (he is pretty far ahead in reading and math), but I'm a bit worried about frustrating the teacher.

What do you think, am I being disrespectful to the teacher by pulling him so often?

[Pollyanna]

I never have ANY issue pulling my kids out, they are my children. Of course if my child was struggling in a subject then I would reconsider but for the most part I think it's your call.
I would be really honest with your child's teacher. Tell her that you are not trying to be frustrating and education is very important but your family needs this time together. Give her a heads up as to the other times you will be pulling your DS. I always tell the school and our teachers the truth but I never ask for permission. I've never had a teacher or school baulk at me pulling a child.
I think your son will get more out of the time he is with his family then the time he would have spent in class.

[peggyfromwastate]

I used to pull the kids but can not anymore. Unfortunately my kids have all had grades docked and I've received threatening letters from the district about "paying a fine for each unexcused absence."



This didn't really happen until middle school though---- you should be OK for now.

This is a HUGE aspect of education that has me thinking more along the lines of homeschooling.

[GrayMatterWife]

Marie Eleanor just missed the entire last week. I pulled her out so that her paternal grandparents could take her to DisneyWorld. I told her teacher, who said that she "didn't want to know the details" and that she would just assume that it was an excused absence.

If the school district wants to send me "intimidating" letters, bring it on. Like I care. The public schools in Atlanta proper are so bad, you'd think they'd have other things to be doing with their time.

I made the "oh, I can't pull the kid out of school!" mistake before. To this day, I regret not taking Sam with me when I went to Ireland when he was in kindergarten. There was absolutely nothing he learned in those ten days that was worth missing Ireland.

[Deebs]

Time out of school is probably what makes me think most of homeschooling in the future. EM is mostly night and weekend work, so family time has become limited as our kids are starting school. I guess I pick and choose. DD had to have her tonsils out, and we couldn't wait until next summer. She just missed almost two weeks recovering. She's missing school again in November. DH has a conference in Phoenix, DH's aunt and uncle live there, and his uncle has late stage prostate cancer. I might feel guilty taking her out, but there is some time you really can't get back. That said, DD was nervous to go back to school, even though she performs well above grade level in all subjects. The re-entry to routine can be tough. I did draw the line when DH wanted to take the kids out of school in early Dec for Disney. We can brave the crowds and go over spring break.


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[MrsK]

Funny, when I was in school, the teachers didn't mind as long as the kids made up the work. There were a couple kids that I went to school with from 3rd grade through high school who became Olympic athletes. They used to miss school all the time but got top grades too. They were disciplined and managed their time well. Their work was always done. There is a difference between kids whose parents are providing them with educational or family opportunities and kids who miss school just because their parents don't send them.

[spotty_dog]

That said, DD was nervous to go back to school, even though she performs well above grade level in all subjects. The re-entry to routine can be tough.

This is what bothers me. His teacher made a bunch of subtle jabs at him after the last time he missed, telling him "You're upset because you don't know why you got in trouble? You got in trouble because you weren't here the day we covered that rule. But you're smart, you'll figure it out."

[HouseofWool]

This is what bothers me. His teacher made a bunch of subtle jabs at him after the last time he missed, telling him "You're upset because you don't know why you got in trouble? You got in trouble because you weren't here the day we covered that rule. But you're smart, you'll figure it out."

Holy crap - that is completely unacceptable. Like he has a choice about school attendance at his age. Now, if he were a teen who was cutting school? Maybe that response would be justified. But to an elementary school aged kiddo? NFW.

[peggyfromwastate]

I'm starting to think I've lived in unusually hostile school environments.



Even though the district has given me problems before, for elem school I wouldn't hesitate at all. They will completely lose their marbles if you try to take a kid out during testing though. So definitely tell the teacher ahead of time for that alone. Remember, the standardized test is king....

But that's been my elem school experience.

Hostilities and passive aggressive bs--- that came more at middle school and high school level in our experience.

One example---- one of my MD acquaintances is a math teacher. He had a student (senior) taking his class, and thekid needed the class to graduate. The kid went on a mission trip with his church for 10 days during the spring (which is when everyone scrambles to catch up and cover 75% of the material it seems). His absences were all marked as unexcused, because literally to be excused you need to be sick and contagious or have a death if an IMMEDIATE family member. So the teacher didn't allow the kid to make up his work. And the kid failed and did not graduate.

Welcome to crazy land.

[Pollyanna]

Holy crap - that is completely unacceptable. Like he has a choice about school attendance at his age. Now, if he were a teen who was cutting school? Maybe that response would be justified. But to an elementary school aged kiddo? NFW.

Yes this!!! Wtf? I'd be pissed.

[houseelf]

Peggy, that's worth at least a nasty letter from an attorney.

FWIW, I've pulled my kid out for a week through 7th grade. I'll be pulling him out at least 2 days before Spring Break this year. I could technically pull him out for a week with no nasty repercussions but I feel like this is the year where it would overwhelm him. He is in two advanced classes and busting his butt. I'm not forgoing this because of what the school has dictated, I'm doing this because I feel like he would have a hard time navigating it.
Honestly, I think the schools are effing ridiculous about this. You can watch movies the last two weeks of school if it benefits the school, but if it accommodates my family's needs the school get shitty? Yeah, sorry. I'm just not buying it.

[Deebs]

It all comes down to school funding. The districts need so many butts in seats for so many hours in order to receive state and federal funding. My nephew's school had a huge flu outbreak last year. The district actually told parents the reason for closure was because they had so many kids out, they wouldn't receive funds for those days anyway ( as opposed to closing to try to stop the outbreak). This is what happens when school funding relies on scholastic book orders and food box tops to provide what they need. With Common Core, I think it's going to get worse because the testing is SO frequent.


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[diggitydot]

Responses to kids being pulled out of school really varies from one state (and district) to another. Our current district is totally laid back and so long as the kids get and do their make-up work, it's not a big deal.

I've had districts be total assholes about it, too. I just told the teachers that we didn't really have a choice in timing due to DH residency schedule. We had to take the time off when it was given and he had to get out of town if he didn't want to still cover his patients, which was true.

"But you'll get 5 unexcused absences and they're only allowed 10 all year before the truancy officers become involved!"

"That's OK. My kids don't skip school and will apparently only take 50% of the allowed unexcused time off. We're good"

Probably didn't go over well. Don't care.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

This thread and Suzy's thread about all the drama with color cards for behavior just makes me want to home school. Mission trips and travel around DH's residency/fellowship/surgical schedule will be a part of our lives. If my kid is completing the work and not falling behind, I am not going to do well being told what we can and cannot do to benefit our family. Plus at in all the crazy sports/extracurricular requirements about not missing practices or games, etc. - I mean you basically should just sign over your children to the government after age 6...

[Deebs]

I think it does depend on the school and district. I honestly don't anticipate getting flack for DD missing what will likely be 15 days this year (unless her allergy shots completely prevent spring absences). Again, if I were pulling her out for something recreational, it might be different, but when she missed a ton this spring for allergies and again this fall for her tonsillectomy, all I received was concern for her. I just hate that there even IS a policy because I'm a total rule follower. When my kids miss, other than for illness, I'm crazy about them learning, to the extent that they are probably learning WAY more than they would have at school.


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