Things other parents say

[SuzySunshine]

We have another family we carpool with, I pick the girls up from school and take them to dance the SAHD brings A home after. We also have other interactions with this family, the mom coaches the girls in soccer, she came to A's birthday party, etc.

Today the girl gets in the car at the school and asks me, "Does A get in trouble a lot?" I kind of chuckled and said no, why did she get in trouble at school today? And she said "no, my dad says she gets in trouble a lot." What?? I will admit that we are strict with the kids in public, the example that is most recent that is popping up for me is that when we got to the church for the school program last Thursday night the church was locked and dark, several parents figured out ho to get in a back, unlocked door and people were letting their kids run all. over. the church/altar, etc. I raised my voice at A several times and told her we were still in a church and she needed to sit down, I was clearly the only parent doing this. I'm wondering if that isn't what prompted the comment.

But either way - why would you say that and why would you say it to your 5-6 year old child who is probably going to repeat it at some point??

It just sours my perception of this family. UGH!

[MrsK]

It's obnoxious. But it happens. I still remember when I was in brownies and the other moms used to say my mother was "overprotective." They shared this opinion with their children and with me often. (Apparently, this stemmed from my mother's refusal to let me attend a passion play with the troop. I was the only Jewish child in the group.)

[SuzySunshine]

Yes well what I wanted to say was did your dad also say that you rule your house and your parents are going to have big issues when you get older? The parents are considerably younger then us, maybe that is part of it. The girls had a Daisy gingerbread house event yesterday after school, you had to sign up and pay for it. About 10 minutes into it the loud speaker came on looking for her, since I was the mom closest to her I took her down to the office. Her dad was there to pick her up, seems he had told her she wasn't doing it, she threw a fit and he caved. I've seen both parents do that more then once, I know everyone has bad days and I really try not to judge other parents parenting styles but if you have an issue with another parent, don't discuss it in front of your kid. UGH!

[GrayMatterWife]

It's obnoxious. But it happens. I still remember when I was in brownies and the other moms used to say my mother was "overprotective." They shared this opinion with their children and with me often. (Apparently, this stemmed from my mother's refusal to let me attend a passion play with the troop. I was the only Jewish child in the group.)

Overprotective for not allowing you to attend a religious event that is not in your tradition, and presents its message as historical fact and with an evangelical purpose. Wow, what a ridiculously overprotective mom. **sarcasm…**

[GrayMatterWife]

SuzySunshine: When parents do not treat each other with respect, their kids won't treat adults with respect, either. This parent is doing his kid no favors by sharing his judgment of your parenting style with her.

[PrincessFiona]

That stinks. We all parent differently, and the judgment is ridiculous.

[SoonerTexan]

I'm going to guess the comment was a judgment of your parenting...BUT, I wonder if the parents wouldn't be mortified if they found out their daughter had repeated it. It might have been a case of forgetting "little ears are listening" and who knows in what context. It doesn't seem like a thing you would specifically *tell* your child.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Honestly, next time you're in a social setting with them, I'd casually bring it up - "you know, little Sally said the silliest thing the other day..." And see how they respond. They will probably say it's ridiculous, where would she come up with that, etc, but at least they know you know. Like ST said - probably a case of forgetting little ears are ALWAYS listening


Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod

[MrsK]

I'm going to guess the comment was a judgment of your parenting...BUT, I wonder if the parents wouldn't be mortified if they found out their daughter had repeated it. It might have been a case of forgetting "little ears are listening" and who knows in what context. It doesn't seem like a thing you would specifically *tell* your child.

Agreed. I still remember asking my maternal grandmother where she kept her broomstick after hearing my father refer to her as a witch. I was probably about A's age.

[scrub-jay]

SuzySunshine: When parents do not treat each other with respect, their kids won't treat adults with respect, either. This parent is doing his kid no favors by sharing his judgment of your parenting style with her.

This.

And SS, I've seen you parent in action, you are a fantastic parent. And your kids are both happy, well-adjusted and respectful. It is totally out of line for that dad to make comments around children.

[MrsK]

Also, you could have misunderstood. Perhaps they said something like "A got in trouble for X and you will too."

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[SoonerTexan]

To clarify, I'm not saying it isn't rude, just that I wouldn't take it too personally, though that's not easy to do

[ladymoreta]

I'd take it as a compliment! I think it's great for kids when their parents have high expectations of them. (Within reason, based on the individual child, of course)

[Pollyanna]

I wouldn't read into it too much. Think of all the times your children misinterpret what you say. Who knows what was really. Don't sweat it and don't let it effect your friendship with this family.

[Ladybug]

After hearing about things my kids have said, and listening to things kids have told me in the nurses office there is absolutely no telling what was actually said. Lol. I say she clearly thinks A gets in trouble more than her, and has asked her dad about it.
"Dad, does A get in trouble?"
"Huh, I guess, where are your shoes?!"
I would totally let it go. It sounds like you have a benificial relationship. I wouldn't lose that over a kids off-hand remark.