Am I the only one who supports preschool/kindergarten for little ones?

[PrincessFiona]

I've been reading several threads really downplaying the role preschool and kindergarten programs can have in children's lives. I feel like the lone ranger. I did a lot of educational exercises with my kids at home. We did all kinds of crafts. I took them to the park to play. Still, I found preschool and kindergarten programs to be of great benefit to my kids. They were thrilled to have teachers, work, and friends from school. They learned to sit in circle time, wait their turn, have compassion for their classmates, and to work independently of mom and proudly show off their work. My experience working in a preschool also showed me that kids learn a lot of social skills in these early exposures to their peers in a classroom setting and that is helpful to them.

I think that I was able to provide quality care and educational resources for my children, but I still found that they benefited from preschool and Kindergarten in particular. Because First grade standards are so high today, I would be hard pressed to leave out Kindergarten unless I had a good homeschooling curriculum in place to make sure that they learned what they needed to know.

Maybe this belongs in the debate forum.

Kris

[Ladybug]

I think it's totally helpful, but quality programs are expensive. I do think there are creative ways to get exposure to those skills for free in the community. Sometimes I wish we had access to free preschool and childcare like other countries, but then I pay my tax bill and change my mind. . Guess it depends on the time of year you ask me. It would amazing to see a federal family benefit for everyone.

[MrsK]

You're definitely not the only one. Why do you think I'm driving the mom taxi all over town for my 3 and 4yo boys?

[ladymoreta]

I'm torn. I like having my kids in preschool, and I love seeing them come home with new friends, skills, and confidence. It seems like it has had some great benefits for them. But I hear so many conflicting things - about how kids need more free play and less time in classrooms, about how early mastery of skill has no effect on kids later in life, about how it's unfair for kids whose parents can't put them in preschool for any number of reasons. Overall, it's safer for me to downplay my decision and make it more about having more free time for myself. Which is true, too - I have been such a better mother this summer with them in summer preschool than I was last summer with them home all day, every day. It just seems like the safest reason to give for our decision to have the kids in preschool.

[spaz]

Well, I don't think they are necessary at all for the children. You don't have to send them to have healthy, well adjusted, academically prepared children without that as long as they have caring involved adults in their lives. Those that do not do need them..

Now, that said. I chose to do Mother's Day out twice a week FOR ME!!! I needed a break. But no, I didn't need preschool.

[lovelight]

Don't get me wrong - I 100% support preschool. I just don't think it's NECESSARY to go. Do I think children start K behind (whether social, emotional, or academic) if they don't attend? In my personal experience teaching K, more often than not a child with NO schooling at all does start behind. However, it doesn't spell doom. That being said, my children will attend at least pre-K before going to K.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[PrincessFiona]

I think that's an interesting perspective, Laurie, because I also benefited personally from having my kiddos in some type of preschool program and I found that to be hard to admit. For me, it seemed easier to tout the benefits of early childhood education than to admit that I needed me time. I don't feel that way anymore. Now I'm pretty secure in my role as mom and I'm okay with admitting that I need a break in order to be a good mom.

I don't think kids "need" preschool. I think it has his educational and social benefits. Obviously, we are all working as parents to give our children the best early start that we can. I feel like there is sort of an implication there though that if you do embrace preschool it is because you aren't cutting the mustard as the world's best mom. Things have gotten so competitive in the mommy world. Now moms need to have their preschool/kindergarten curriculums ready and be prepared to meet all of those needs on top of everything else. And if you don't? What does that say? I think I did pretty good with early childhood stuff ... and I think preschool/kindergarten was a great supplement to that.

BTW, I'm just talking out loud here. Feel free to ignore me if I'm being obnoxious.

Kris

[Sheherezade]

I think the internet has provided a wealth of training for parents that want to do preschool and kindergarten type activities on their own. It has also facilitated groups of moms getting together. We ran our own preschool program in Baltimore when I lived there. None of us could afford "real" preschool, but we were a group of 8 moms all with college degrees or higher. We basically did a homeschool type program 2 days a week, swapping out the kids with two moms planning a "lesson" and activities for the morning and the other 6 getting their time to themselves to run errands and what not. It was fun. I think my kid did fine and when he started in "real" kindergarten in Brookline, he wasn't behind at all. He had the classroom type interaction and a lot of lessons that he might have done in preschool, just from a moms group of friends for 2 years instead.

So, I think the programming and interaction with other kids and adults in a classroom type setting is educational, but I think parents can provide that on their own if they choose.

I think a lot of parents are just getting sick of our educational system being very "one size fits all" in its planning. Doing your own thing allows you to customize the preschool experience to your child. I feel like even preschool, which is not yet a public program in most places, is getting very generic.

[spotty_dog]

I think that the evidence is very clear that at least one year of preschool has a dramatic effect on the social/emotional skills and interpersonal skills and all the things that make kindergarten successful and positive and that set the tone for the rest of school. I am very, VERY much in favor of all kids having access at least to a good pre-kindergarten program, and for my kids, I couldn't be happier with two years of preschool each. Even if we weren't sending the kids to school but were going to homeschool out of the starting gate, I would still think that our experiences with preschool have been valuable and have helped our children to grow immeasurably.

My problem with the pressure on parents to do "high-quality preschool," is that schools who want to attract parents have to have measurable evidence that they are "high-quality." This seems to translate to "lots of seatwork and structure," which I think is exactly the opposite of what preschool children need most. And it also drives up the cost.

If we were still on a single income in residency when our kids hit pre-k age, even the ~$100 per month we ended up paying for preschool would have been very hard to scrape together. As part of the cost-benefit analysis, I would look at how kids tend to fare in kindergarten if they don't have a preschool experience. And honestly, they do get there. Especially kids with involved parents. In the long run, preschool probably is not a dealbreaker.

I also don't like how the hours have stretched longer and longer for these little ones. There is SO, SO much else in the world for them to experience, other than the structure and walls of a school-like environment. My kids have done 5 hours per week at age 3, 7.5 hours per week at age 4, and an average of 15-16 hours per week at age 5. This has felt completely age appropriate, without holding them back.

Now, I know that my limited experience is extremely biased. I happen to have kids for whom grade-level academics will never be their greatest challenge. And I also happen to have a strong sympathy not just for homeschool, but for unschool. I think that in the long run, birds will fly and fish will swim and children will LEARN if given the room in which to do so. They will learn what they are motivated to learn, and school is not the place for them to learn what motivates THEM. The more time I can have with them at home during these vital, formative years; and the more time I can give them to explore freely and be bored with a book, the better.

[Pollyanna]

Not at all obnoxious Kris! I wanted to start a school thread but just haven't had a chance.

I think preschool and kinder can be great! But I am finding kinder to be very institutional and not in a healthy way IMO.

I will write more when I'm not on my phone at dance, lol

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I find myself overwhelmed as a working parent paying a FT nanny because all my coworkers pay nannies AND send their children to preschool for socialization, etc.

We simply can't afford the preschool options here and no matter what, we need the nanny because of my travel schedule.

I would give my left arm to send DD to a Montessori or similar preschool but we can't. So I'm doing a little homeschool packet with DD that I found online. I wouldn't have come up with it on my own but it helps me feel like I'm doing something since we can't do preschool. And you can bet our nanny is at every story time out there and DD is in dance class.

I am stressed out bc all my coworkers are so stressed out about their kids schooling (in MA) that I'm freaked out down here in NC (where there is NO free anything).

[metroguy]

i'm a big fan of ME--me me. i would love to have schools days follow my work schedule - open at 8am and close 6pm. sadly, it doesn't revolve around me or my kid's schedules. the way daycare/preschool/public school/story time/summer breaks are setup for is perfect sahm. wth! what about those people who need to work after 3pm and summers? we have to hire/get a helper just because-- i have no clue why. why can't teachers work 9 to 5 like everyone else? it doesn't make any sense to me. either i have to stop working or pay someone to work from 3 to 7pm. to find someone good who wants to work 3/4 hrs per day are HARD.. and hell, those half days are killers. why have half days? what's the point?

[civilspouse]

I have no doubt that there are benefits to preschool. I was really just trying to figure out in my other thread if it is necessary. Since we've decided for me to stay home it would be tough to cover the costs. I would love to send DS and we may still do a year of preschool next year if we decide to wait till he is 6 for kindergarten, but I guess I'm feeling ok that if he doesn't go to preschool we won't be setting him up for struggle and failure. If I were working there would be no question about preschool, but since we decided on me staying home because we didn't want our kids in a daycare/school environment full time I just feel like I can't justify the cost. Honestly I would love a break and I'm sure DS would have fun and love meeting new friends, but I think we will wait. I'd love to find a group of moms to do a preschool co-op like someone mentioned. I think that would be a great way to approach it.

[Deebs]

I can't imagine sending my kids to kindergarten, in this day and age, without a year of preschool. Kindergarten is the new first grade. All of my kids have had different preschool experiences, based on each child's needs. I'm a HUGE believer in an appropriate preschool for every child.

[SoonerTexan]

I have many unrelated-disjointed thoughts about it:

1. I cant afford it on top of a nanny and preschool hours aren't friendly to working parents. I decided paying more for a nanny that would be a constant care provider and have the ability to do fun things with them (they are going to toddler time at the library today) was the better option.

2. I think the idea of preschool has gotten a little ridiculous in upper middle class areas that value good education. I had friends freaking out and wondering if they should be sending their 18 month old. Which is totally fine, but they aren't going to be "behind" if you don't send them that early! I understand and appreciate early intervention for kids who obviously need it. However the idea of sending kids as young as 2/3 to Kumon type learning centers to get ahead on math, etc just so they are always ahead bothers me. A coworker used to work at one and said she always felt bad for the 3 year olds going home with math worksheet homework to do!!!

3. This is a personal issue, but I'm pretty resentful right now that I'm not home with my kids. I'm hoping to have a year with N before Kindergarten and I'm scared of what it will bring when she starts. Are they going to balk if I want to take her out for a week to go on a trip?

Otherwise, I do wish I could send her a few half days a week because I think she would enjoy it. I'm not worried about her being behind, though. We'll do something when she is 4, I just don't know if it will be very extensive. I'd love the idea of a preschool co-op.