Starting school disappointed

[ides]

Today is O's first day of Kinder. It's just an hour and I will be there. We have been excited about starting and this school. Earlier this week we got O's class list. I had requested during the summer that O not be placed with two particular boys who are bullies and were mean to O at camp. Neither were on the list and he was with a teacher he had met during summer jump start and was glad. Well yesterday we got a card with a different class name, teachers and time to come today. (They are staggering the classes starting there one hour today.) I called the school and they called me back this morning. Turns out they sent us the wrong class list. They email me the right one. This class is twice as large but has two teachers and the two boys I requested not be in his class are. I call to talk to the director and she apologies but doesn't want to move him as they would have to move another kid. They are promising to keep them apart but frankly at this point I don't trust them to follow thru. To top it off aunt flow arrived and I'm feeling over emotional. O doesn't want to go to this unknown room with bullies. He was bullied at the end of last year in his other school. Someone talk me down. I'm trying to be positive and calm but if feel like bursting into tears.

[Ladybug]

I'd give it a chance but have a (silent) plan B. I'd be horrified and angry about the misinformation. It's not easy to redirect kids at that age. They should accommodate, not the 5 yo. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

[Sheherezade]

I would be feeling the same as you. Now that I've btdt, I feel like I should have been more of a bitch about some of these things. There are demanding moms and they do get reputations, but they get things done. I'm not sure if that's the right move, and I never was that mom, but if I had a kindergarten right now, I might be.

It just isn't worth the angst of dealing with bullies all year. Maybe they've reformed, maybe not. If it was bad, I'd pitch more of a fit.


Angie

[Vanquisher]

I'm that mom. I fight for what's best for my kid! Fight for O.

[ides]

Starting school disappointed

Thanks. I'm not great with confrontation. Looks like I'll get a lot of practice. These two boys don't have a pattern of bullying O yet, and I'm adamant that it not get that way. These kids will always be angry and mean. Their parents suck. This school is anti bullying but I'll have to be the one enforcing it. I foresee a lot of being 'that mom'. I was hoping it would be different.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm feeling calmer and more together. We are going to try it with me monitoring it closely and if it doesn't work out we'll demand a move or something else.

[Pollyanna]

Go get 'em mom!!!!!
I'm calling BS on keeping the kids apart, that's not even remotely possible.
Good luck!!!

[GrayMatterWife]

Tell them that you will be sending him to the classroom that was originally given to him. Period. Calmly, firmly and without a trace of bluff. If they want to fight you on that, you'll bring in your lawyer. But you will not permit the school to subject your child to a KNOWN and DEMONSTRATED UNSAFE ENVIRONMENT. You believe that your child is not physically safe and may suffer both physical and emotional injury if subjected to the environment of these two bullying children. And advise that you would be glad to speak with any counselor, or have your pediatrician speak with him about your child's well-being. And reject the
we'll keep them apart" crap. He was not protected last year; he will not be protected this year.

It may get you nowhere or they may decide you are way too much of a PITA to fight with. Don't be confrontational. Just very firm and clear and be sure that the message is that this needs to happen for your child's safety and well-being.

schools do not want to be sued and they do not want bad press. And they SURE don't want to have to explain themselves if they knew of the bullying and the risk to your child and did nothing about it.

[ides]

This is a different school than last year. Believe me there is no way in hell we would allow those bullies in another class with him. We are far away from those awful kids and teachers who don't care if he's bullied or not. This school seems much much better. I say seems as we haven't attended yet for personal proof. I'm trying to be as proactive as possible so that he has a good kinder year and doesn't fall into a similar situation as last year. I wanted him in a different class to help him have a good start. These two boys that are in his class are known 'bad seeds' and O had them be mean to him during camp this summer. We have worked with him a lot regarding mean kids and bullying however he's very sensitive and I don't want him dealing with this at his age. He also tends to be attracted to the high energy wild boys who tend to be the mean ones. I think he's getting over this due to our council but I don't know if he's there yet. Another parent who I trust said that the teachers will help (her son had an issue with one of the boys last year and is a lot like O) though I'm not really believing they'll keep them separated. I'm still disappointed in the promise the director gave me this summer and didn't follow thru on. Just leaves me with little faith.

Today went well. It was just an hour. He's nervous about tomorrow and excited. He liked the teachers and there was a girl he knew from jump start who is nice. I've told him to ignore and avoid the mean boys. I spoke to one of the teachers after their presentation as well. He's never been full day before. I'm feeling hopeful but cautious.

[Ladybug]

[v-girl]

Hugs to you!


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[Meenah]

Big hugs, I hope it works out well for him.

[MrsC]

Hope it goes well today!

[BonBon]

Still going well? FWIW, G had a classmate in kinder start bullying him toward the end of the year. I spoke to his teacher and she brought the hammer down immediately and kept a sharp eye on the bully after that. He'll tell you if any funny business starts.

[ides]

Thanks. Yesterday was ok - not great. In one of his work sessions four girls were picking on him whenever the teacher was helping someone else. We role played standing up for yourself last night in a classroom if people are grabbing your work, etcetera.. He still wanted to go back today. Today I worried. But there were no mean kids today. He came out happy today.

[BonBon]

Yay! We found role-playing helped a lot. Mean kids suck!!