Extracurriculars and Time Management

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm so torn on this issue. I played highly competitive soccer from age 8 on as did my younger brother. I sailed growing up every summer and made it to the junior Olympics more than once. Clearly it helped since I was an all American in college. Dh played highly competitive baseball and football and football in college.

At the same time, my parents both worked and it was miserable. My mother NEVER made it to a soccer game after I was 10. She hated that it destroyed family time and refused to go. It was a bitch move and I'm still resentful. I get that you don't love it but your child truly does (I was the kid who was 10000% into it) and your lack of support is deafening.

I know that C and D will both be athletes. You can just tell though I won't push them into anything. We have kept it to dance for C and will start D in dance next fall. All the littles in our area are starting soccer but I'm resisting. I just feel like it's too young at 4 and 2 (yes you can send 2 year olds). There's still plenty of time for that. I know once I start, I can't take it back. I imagine we will start C when she hits 6 and the rest will follow from there. I know DH will want the boy still in utero holding a baseball at age 2 so we will have that...

Luckily, I know I'll have a partner in DH who won't mind every weekend filled with games. Dinners are really important to us though so we will just have to find a balance. Church is also pretty not negotiable but we don't have as many time options as Pollyanna referred to so we will need to figure it out. I will likely start bible study with them at 5-6 and disciple them from there so perhaps we could do podcasts for sermons sometimes.

[MrsK]

See, the religious school and temple really conflict with a lot of extracurriculars. Temple is Friday night or Saturday morning . For now, our kids only go to children's services which are about once /month. We haven't committed to a particular temple so we go to services at 3 different ones (which a lot of young families do). Religious school is on Sundays. And bar mitzvah studies, which typically start around 3rd grade, are usually 2 weeknights /week. Then homework, social activities, family time, OT... How do you have time for anything else?

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

[MrsK]

Oftentimes, there are conflicts too because games and whatnot are scheduled on Jewish holidays. My nephews play baseball on Yom Kippur.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

[Pollyanna]

Oftentimes, there are conflicts too because games and whatnot are scheduled on Jewish holidays. My nephews play baseball on Yom Kippur.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

It's okay to tell the coach once you get the schedule that you can't make specific dates. Some will understand and some will not. Just don't open it up for discussion. High school becomes more difficult for sure.

It does seem insurmountable now but you'll discover time slots open up as your kiddos grow. Swimming lessons likely will end, OT will be moved around, and you'll have to get creative with family time. Honestly, the folks I know that struggle the most are those that only see family time as dinners around the table at 6pm sharp. People that are flexible and enjoy time together at the ball field or the dance studio or the pool do better. I think the K family will do great!

[MrsK]

Swimming may continue. K1 is asking about pre-compete. I'd be delighted if the kids took up swimming as their sport. K1 is definitely inclined toward swimming or track. But K2 is more of the wrestling /football type like his dad.

I know families that have gone to to the school board every year because homecoming always falls on a Jewish high holy day. Their kids played football.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I totally agree Pollyanna. That was my criticism of my mom. She wasn't getting family time as she defined it and so her solution was just to opt out. But a picnic dinner at the ballpark or the park next to the studio should count as family time.

[SoonerTexan]

I refused to sign N up for anything til I quit. Even then, I'm struggling. In suburban Texas you can forget playing a sport in high school (or sometimes middle school) unless you started at a very young age and you are playing club too. Seriously, school sports aren't much of an option. So do I enroll them and give them a shot knowing it will take our our life? Right now I'm thinking no, because we will likely have more kids and you just can't do that for all of them, but we will see. My sisters experience left a sour taste in my mouth. She tortured herself all through high school and ended up quitting as a varsity starter at the beginning of her senior year--and ended up way happier but got pretty depressed and stressed getting to that point.

Yet I do think physical fitness is important and I would have benefitted from more growing up. DH is so into cycling and golf and wants to get the kids Involved. I'm on board with that--it would be great for sports be total family time! When N is old enough of like to coach a Girls on the Run team for her. And I want all my kids to be on summer swim team just for the benefit of making them strong swimmers.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[spotty_dog]

All I can say is don't borrow trouble. Right now you are dealing with kindergarten and younger. It is premature to fret about bar mitzvah studies and high school homecoming. Just keep your priorities firm, don't take on commitments you can't handle. You've got this. I agree with T&S that it is hard to go backward, so there is no rush in adding activities. We didn't start any extracurriculars until kindergarten, didn't increase karate to twice weekly until yellow belt, didn't have Saturday games until age 7-8, etc. Its like boiling frogs, the water warms up so slow you don't notice, LOL.

[MrsK]

All I can say is don't borrow trouble. Right now you are dealing with kindergarten and younger. It is premature to fret about bar mitzvah studies and high school homecoming. Just keep your priorities firm, don't take on commitments you can't handle. You've got this. I agree with T&S that it is hard to go backward, so there is no rush in adding activities. We didn't start any extracurriculars until kindergarten, didn't increase karate to twice weekly until yellow belt, didn't have Saturday games until age 7-8, etc. Its like boiling frogs, the water warms up so slow you don't notice, LOL.

That's the thing. I already feel it starting to boil with school, swimming, and OT in kindergarten. Next year, it's school, swimming, OT, religious school, and possibly scouts in 1st grade, together with more school work. Then the ILKs are nagging me about little league...or as MILK phrased it "a more masculine sport than swimming." :eyeroll:

[Ladybug]

[spotty_dog]

I'm having a week that reminded me of this thread. >.< Each child is in one sport, plus karate once weekly. This week everything is conflicting with everything, DH is not available to help with the worst conflicts, and the activity that DD wants to prioritize (t-ball) is NOT the one that I value. Ugh.

[alison]

We do nothing with our almost 2-year old. She gets carted around to and from her older sister's school, and i take her to the playground, grocery shopping, and various errands. I may start a one day/week class next fall, because she's bouncing off the walls (and better someone else's walls than mine). . Big sister takes yoga after school AT school. So, those days I just pick her up an hour later than usual. Piano lessons are at our house once a week. And ballet is on Saturdays, so dh or I can take her. Sometimes we do a drop-in swim class.

Squeezing in homework and piano practicing is tricky, especially bc little sister wants in on all of it. If dh isn't home, M has to wait until almost 7 (when C is asleep) to do everything.

[MrsK]

Right now, the EOY stuff is killing me. So much crammed in. We used to just have a party on the last day. Now they have picnics, field trips. awards assemblies, charity walks, two class parties, a party for all the kids who returned their library books (no joke), field day, a talent show...and that's just ONE of my kids' schools. This is all scheduled for the last two weeks of school and I'm supposed to be at all of it. Not to mention EOY gifts for the teachers and an entire week of "bring a flower for your teacher on Monday, wear your teacher's favorite color on Tuesday...." for Teacher Appreciation.

This year, I had a kindergartner at a public school, a preschooler at a religious school, and a toddler doing Mom's Morning Out at a different religious preschool. All three kids were swimming together once weekly to which DrK has been taking them when he's not working. Nice to have him share that burden though I've heard reports of my children escaping the locker room and streaking naked through the Jewish Community Center. My kindergartner has OT once weekly. The toddler and I go to story time and/or music class when I feel up to it and Mommy & Me when I'm not tied up at the boys' schools or they are not out of school. Seems that we have missed more than we've attended. We also do a lot of weekend/holiday activities with the various temples in the area. We joined one but it's not the one that either my preschooler or my toddler attend for school so we go to the children's programming at three temples (which is actually kind of nice because we end up with a religious service almost every Sabbath.)

[MrsK]

Incidentally, I know that I bring this on myself. It always seems like a good idea when I commit and then I'm overwhelmed when I have to do it. I whole-heartedly agree with this blog post: http://www.peopleiwanttopunchintheth...-busy-but.html FWIW, I live in the community she's referencing; three different schools, OT, swimming, and religious observance/education is really just the bear minimum. I'm kind of a slacker mom.

[Pollyanna]

Oh geez, I want to punch her in the face. What an obnoxious blog post.

Its crazy MrsK, even with only one activity, it just is. And yes EOY activities really add to the crazy. You will discover that you can skip some of the parties, and you don't have to be room mom every year and that will free up some time but elementary school just by its nature keeps you busy with classroom stuff. Once you move into middle school it will be a different kind of busy. Hang in there!!