Birthday parties

[OrionGrad]

DS has 40 kids in his preschool class, and it seems like we're getting invited to birthday parties every weekend. In most cases, every kid in class is being invited via the FB page for his class, so it's not like we're getting personal invitations. Do you go to every birthday party your kid is invited to? If not, how do you decide which ones? DS is 4 and he barely knows the names of most of the kids in his class yet, if that matters.

[Thirteen]

I don't go to them. 😅
This is the first year that we'll consider it, but I wanted him to get to know some kids first before just going to every single one.


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[spotty_dog]

Our family time is pretty precious. When it comes to the mass-invite ones, I usually only go if I know the parents, or my kids are excited about the kid, AND the time/place works for us. But, that said -- it turns out that they can be a good opportunity for parent socialization. I kind of wish I'd gone to more. That's probably related to our being in a small community though, and knowing that these kids and parents are largely going to be the exact same ones we're dealing with right into high school…knowing whose mom I can call to inform or ask for information, is really shaping up into a lifesaver.

[MarissaNicole]

I haven't run into this yet, but I would go to her best friends party (or any she specifically asked to go to) and that would be it. There is just NOT enough time!

They'll learn young that they can't go to everything. Just think if this were your third or fourth child. It just wouldn't be possible!


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[gem]

We go if we can. I'm a birthday person-- I love planning my kids parties and put a lot of effort into it. I read a Humans of New York thing once about a guy reminiscing about the time no one came to his birthday party except his mom. It still just makes me teary and nauseous to think about it. Every kid deserves a special day, and if they are kind enough to invite my kids, we show up unless we genuinely have a conflict.

[ladymoreta]

I try to go, but our classes are much smaller. It's been a great way to meet other parents. I'd stick to the ones that are convenient and not worry about the rest.

[OrionGrad]

I just asked DS if he knows the girl and he has no idea who she is, so I guess that helps answer my question. I guess we'll stick with the kids he's friends with (or at least knows their names). The party is being held at the nicest country club in our town, so I have the feeling there will be plenty of other attendees.

[SoonerTexan]

Birthday parties

We just got invited to our first one, but N literally just met these kids and we are going out of town that day, so I RSVPed no. I think we will try to go to more though--especially kids she cares about as she gets to know them.

She only has 12 kids in her class and the school has a policy that if invited are handed out at school, everyone in the class must get one.

On a random note, one of my most vivid memories from preschool was knowingly being left out of a birthday party. I was so devastated that my mom threw a special party for my favorite stuffed animal, complete with cake and streamers. It's such a fond memory now


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[MrsK]

DS has 40 kids in his preschool class, and it seems like we're getting invited to birthday parties every weekend. In most cases, every kid in class is being invited via the FB page for his class, so it's not like we're getting personal invitations. Do you go to every birthday party your kid is invited to? If not, how do you decide which ones? DS is 4 and he barely knows the names of most of the kids in his class yet, if that matters.

We don't do every party. Especially now that I have 3 kids being invited to parties. If I don't like the birthday kid's parents or they dislike me and it's obvious they invited my kid out of obligation (which is often the case in one of the more cliquey schools), I automatically decline. If we have other plans, I decline. If the party venue is something my kids can't handle (K1 flips out in some places or sometimes is invited to activities that are just not developmentally appropriate), we decline. I don't think anyone is feeling badly because my kid went to so-and-so's party but not theirs. FWIW, we don't invite the whole class either. My kids will cherry pick. Their party guests are usually a couple friends from school, a couple family friends, a couple friends from other activities....I just don't let them invite more than half of a social circle without inviting the whole group. So, for instance, if my son wants to invite 4 of the 6 boys in his class, he needs to invite all the boys. If he wants to invite 9 of the 12 kids in his class, he needs to invite them all.

[MrsK]

FWIW, we often do go to the parties. I agree regarding parent socialization and the kids sometimes get to do some really cool stuff. We are especially happy to go if the whole family is invited. Then we don't feel like we are giving up family time.