Early and Repeated Kindergarten

[houseelf]

I skipped 1st grade and I do not recommend it to anyone, no matter how bright the child, unless the needs absolutely cannot be met and the child is truly gifted. My children are bright but I would not think any of them are truly truly gifted.

Most excellent school districts should be able to accommodate G & T. In fact it is kind of ridiculous the level of curriculum available. I actually have heard this exact conversation in this district: "Are you in double accelerated or single accelerated math?" "Neither, I am doing independent study math <because I can do much higher level math but my parents believe in me keeping with my peers>". A good school will find a way to meet those needs. You may have to be an advocate, but that's kind of the gig in parenting anyway.

What is really challenging is convincing your kid that in spite of evidence to the contrary, she is athletic but everyone is 18 months older than her. Or even though everyone else has privileges for snapchat, she is 18 months younger and not permitted....Or the child isn't eligible to do the LIT summer camp program with all their classmates because of age. Driving, dating, etc. I just went to a grad party for a kid who graduated at 16. His parents said it was the single worst decision they ever made because his maturity level was so low compared to his three older brother and sisters at the same points in the journey. He's bright and tests well but has an even less developed frontal cortex than his peers which includes my son. Holy shit, that's really saying something when even my son is like, "Yeah, he is kind of immature".

The age thing shows up in weird ways. It has worked out well for some. That's great. It hasn't worked out well for a lot of kids and academics is generally not the problem.

[Flynn]

I can't speak to norms in other parts of the country but here in the West it's about 70/30 for waiting for kindergarten if you have a summer birthday. A fall birthday here is not a choice for parents. If you turn 6 in October or November in kindergarten, you can't choose to put them in earlier unless you pay for a large amount of testing in both academics and emotional maturity.

I have one child with a summer birthday who turned 6 before he started kindergarten. I'm very happy he's the oldest in his grade rather than the youngest. He was ready academically but not socially or emotionally. I supplement at home -- and this fall we decided to switch him to another school (long story).

We know many families who put their kids in kindergarten as soon as possible (I can think of 10 families off the top of my head) and all struggle socially and in extracurricular activities except one child. The maturity factory plays a roll in fitting in, as well as size and physical development in sports. How you communicate as a child if you are one year younger than all your peers makes a difference.

I agree with "listening to your gut" and trusting yourself. I think many educators think that if your kid is above grade level as a pre schooler that is the best way to see if they will succeed. I completely disagree. It's just one factor. I've seen parents become who are proud that their kid can read early or do addition and subtraction as a 3 year old....become enamored with the idea that their kid is the youngest in his grade and consequently "above" the other kids. A lot of early learning evens out as kids with less engaged parents "catch up" with a good teacher.

My opinion is there are less down sides to waiting and letting your kid be older.
Just my two cents.

[scarlett09]

I appreciate all the perspectives here. This issue is definitely an individual one, and I can see how there are a lot of things to consider.

DD has a December birthday, so we don’t have a choice. The cutoff is October 1st.

I’m attaching a picture of our district’s policy, because I’m intrigued by the 6th grade age cutoff. Is it to dissuade parents from redshirting for K? Or there something else I’m not thinking of?




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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

It’s because it’s an arms race. Everyone is pushing later and later and at some point, someone has to be the youngest/smallest in the class.

I have no skin in the game with my kids birthdays but I do wonder when it stops...

Our old town prevented this by saying you could only apply to the desirable magnets in the appropriate year (so if you redshirted, you competed for the almost non existent 1st grade spots vs the more plentiful but still not enough Kindy spots).


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[civilspouse]

That’s interesting. I hadn’t ever seen age cutoffs for an upper grade. I’ve read it can be really tough for teacher to have a just turned 5 year old and a 6.5 year old in the same class. Trying to teach to all the levels. Maybe they are trying to avoid that or maybe it’s about sports?

You all are making me second guess my decision to send my summer birthday 5 year olds to kinder. My son is an August bday and we decided not to hold him back. He was ready socially and academically. He has done great. When I was making the decision for him I read some studies talking about if everything comes easily in the early grades then kids struggle more when things become more challenging in upper grades. I don’t know how true that is though because so far DS hasn’t had to work too hard in school despite being one of the youngest and as things are becoming more challenging he still gets frustrated if he doesn’t get it right away. My kids don’t have leadership personalities and I liked the idea of them striving to work harder to match their older peers.

My daughter will be starting kinder this fall. I worry much more about if she is ready academically or emotionally but she’s had two years of preschool and I don’t feel like another year of that will change the things I worry about. She is super bright and so creative but she’s not a sit down and memorize type of kid. We may be moving next summer so my thought was that we would just redo kinder next year in a new district if things don’t go well this year.

It is a tough decision. With my son I didn’t want to hold him back from something he was ready for. I do worry about high school, etc but honestly I don’t want him being the first to get his license, driving everyone around or whatever. He can learn from his friends mistakes.

Funnily enough, there a a couple boys in DSs class who are about a month apart from him. He has another friend who is a year older. They have been going to school together for the last 3 years and I really don’t notice much of a difference between them.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Also, this is such an interesting decision when you add in class. People in lower socioeconomic situations often cannot wait to send their child to Kindy because it’s free vs preschool/daycare.

So it just further perpetuates school readiness differences in kids from rich vs poor homes. My D and ALOY’s E will enter Kindy already reading and a lot of other kids basically only know the alphabet. I’m sure [MENTION=792]houseelf[/MENTION] can comment but Kindergarten readiness varies widely by SES totally irrespective of age.


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[SoonerTexan]

I realized when I read your original response that I was thinking E was older than she is--then I saw her birthday in your signature and realized she's just four months older than Jason.

I think I change my mind a little bit...it is a little different to automatically put kids ahead, unless she has been evaluated in some way and they think it will benefit her? In the situation I was originally talking about, all kids born by Sept 1 2014 are put in PreK4 and that's it. You only go to the "5s" if you have completed PreK4 and the parents feel they need another year to mature a little bit. In your situation, she would be skipping PreK4 altogether, right? Who is in PreK4 then? It's a different setup than I immediately realized.

At the same time, I still think she could do the Kinder class at the private school and go on ahead to Kinder and it could still be a wonderful opportunity to push her. But I definitely wouldn't put her straight in 1st grade from there.