preemptive drug testing

[poky]

Yes, I saw classmates get into heavy drug use and stay that way, even today. Their parents were not very good parents, usually addicted themselves. All the people in my group of friends grew out of that "pot smoking stage" except one. She was the president of the national honors society! She did go off to college, graduate with a degree that won't help her make an income, and now is a dirty hippy out in Oregon. She had her own local television show for vegan cooking! But, she is still a hippy... hairy armpits, the clothes, the music, the dreads, all of it... and I am pretty sure that our high school pot smoking started the slippery slope that took her from wanting to be a phychologist to being a hippy.

I missed this when it was posted. As a person who lived in Oregon and has a lot of friends who fit your "dirty hippy" description, I'm sorry you feel that being a "hippy" is the bottom of a slippery slope that starts with drugs, and I'm sure you didn't mean this to sound as judgmental as it comes across.

[diggitydot]

Heh. Being a naive PNW'er, I take the term "dirty hippy" as a compliment of the first order.

[Sheherezade]

And a psychologist is (honestly) just a cleaned up hippy. (As the child and sibling of psychologists.....who shave.) LOL

[fluffhead]

Heh. Being a naive PNW'er, I take the term "dirty hippy" as a compliment of the first order.

I agree, even though I'm a native (and naive) northeasterner.

I missed this when it was posted. As a person who lived in Oregon and has a lot of friends who fit your "dirty hippy" description, I'm sorry you feel that being a "hippy" is the bottom of a slippery slope that starts with drugs, and I'm sure you didn't mean this to sound as judgmental as it comes across.

I do feel that her hippy ways are the bottom of a slippery slope. I would not approve of my child doing drugs on a daily basis, sleeping with anyone and everyone because its cool to "love everyone," and making zero money to pay back the student loans that poor daddy co-signed and is now tyring to help pay back. Yep, I would say that's bad thing. So, I guess that's judgemental.

And a psychologist is (honestly) just a cleaned up hippy. (As the child and sibling of psychologists.....who shave.) LOL

I would hope that a professional psychologist would not be doing shrooms, acid, and daily pot before trying to help someone deal with their mental or emotional problems. If they were, he/she would not be the psychologist for me.

[poky]

I do feel that her hippy ways are the bottom of a slippery slope. I would not approve of my child doing drugs on a daily basis, sleeping with anyone and everyone because its cool to "love everyone," and making zero money to pay back the student loans that poor daddy co-signed and is now tyring to help pay back. Yep, I would say that's bad thing. So, I guess that's judgemental.

That's all well and good, but NONE of that was mentioned in your original post, which only mentioned appearance and music. Armpit hair and dreads may imply drug use, sleeping around and defaulting on loans to you, but in my experience, it doesn't.

I would hope that a professional psychologist would not be doing shrooms, acid, and daily pot before trying to help someone deal with their mental or emotional problems. If they were, he/she would not be the psychologist for me.

LOL! From my experience (limited to only my dh's med school class), the ones that went into psychiatry were the very same ones that used recreational drugs regularly. I actually asked my dh once if they were going into it for the easier access to psychotropic drugs! I'm sure that's not the case for the majority (or I hope so), but it was for the ones at dh's (not party) school.

FWIW, the ire raised by the "dirty hippy" generalization goes along with a general theme here where "granola" or "crunchy" is a slur to some and a proud title to others. The behaviors you mentioned in your 2nd post ARE in fact, nothing to be proud of, but are not representative of all hippies and/or every person who follows Phish or the Grateful Dead and makes the (inexplicable to me) choice to have dreads.

Sorry, apparently my definition of a hippy is different from yours. Hippies, like my best friend for many years, find it completely appropriate to have casual sex with friends, co-workers (if they have a job), boyfriends, girlfriends, smoke pot on a regular basis, love to add shrooms, extasy, and acid to the mix, and sit around talking about how terrible capitalism and religion are while listening to Pink Floyd and thinking about heir next Fish music festival.. This is my definition of hippy. And she fits the bill perfectly. This is the person I was talking about and this is why is why I said that it was a slippery slope that she started in high school.

[Sheherezade]

For me, "hippy" means the peace and love generation. I associate the term with New-Agey stuff these days. Organic food, long skirts, limited makeup. Yes, capitalism and organized/traditional religion might be on their hit list - but not because they are socialists or lack faith. They just value the individual over the group in many things. I associate that with psychology because the psychology classes and studies also tend to be touchy feely....and focus on what the individual thinks and empowering the individual over just doing what society says you should. Anyhoo -- never associated hippy with drug use and casual sex. I think of it more as a political term.

[PrincessFiona]

Back to the drug testing.....

I think I would have a hard time doing this unless there were some behavioral issues that were ongoing, persistent and caused concern ... and then I think I'd wimp out and have our pedi do it.

[peggyfromwastate]

Kris, that's just your opinion b/c you wear birks.

JUST KIDDING PEOPLE.

I think this thread needs to chill out a little...

Anyway, I think asking the pediatrician to do it is a great option... If you feel like your kid is in danger. Do the drug screens pick up the inhalants that kids like to use? I doubt it. There are just so many risky behaviors kids can get into, and if you do drug testing on them (unless they ask to have it done, or the school does it as a policy), what's to stop the kids from going hog wild and saying, well, my parents don't trust me anyway, so I may as well ******.



Being a parent of a teen has pretty much kicked my arse so much that I don't have any generalizations about *involved* or *absentee* or any other form of parent. It's just hard. Growing up is hard, parenting is hard...

[Meenah]

Peggy,
Have you asked Kate what she thinks about this? It could make for an interesting and enlightening conversation. Maybe share with her the story of the kids who asked their parents to test them so they would have an excuse. You never know, if she gets into a situation of peer pressure she just might use that as an excuse.

[ladymoreta]

You never know, if she gets into a situation of peer pressure she just might use that as an excuse.

Good point - she could always say that you tested her, even if you don't. My mom made it clear that she would always back me up if I needed to use her as an excuse for something I didn't feel comfortable with. That made it easier for me to say no to stuff - "I'd love to, but my parents are just so strict they'd never let me do ______!"

[PrincessFiona]

Peggy, how dare you say I wear Birks...you know good and well that I prefer to call them sandals ... and wear them with socks. LOL JUST KIDDING Why is everyone so serious lately?

Honestly, I'm in the parenting of a teen has kicked my butt stage too, Peggy! The new thing here is these I love boobies breast cancer bracelets. Of course every girl bought one, the school confiscated them, and there was a huge revolt. The girls (like ...a lot of them) wrote "I love boobies" on their arms with markers and of course my daughter was one of them....SIGH! SIGH!!!! Of course she got in a lot of trouble at school and was written up.

Clearly the product of poor parenting !

I don't dare judge another parent after all we have been through. The longer we have parented teens, the more I realize that peer groups have a much bigger influence now. We have done our best (and continue to try) but the peer group pressure is huge! The trends this year have been scary too....thank goodness so far we have dodged that bullet. I just talked to a mom here who hasn't and eeeek!

Kris